Walking on the sidewalk

[Ak5]

Instead of it just being you walking through the sidewalk, wouldn't it be better to have someone, or a group of friends next to you while walking down the sidewalk? Instead of it being just the sound of wind you hear, wouldn't it be better to hear conversations and laughter?

Something as simple as walking with a friend on the sidewalk, something as meager as that, is my dream.

 

[rosebud]

I can see your point. It can be depressing if all you do is think how lonely you are.

For me walking by myself has been something I enjoy very much, When I have something on my mind that I wish to think about, I go out for a quick walk.

 

[beans]

Instead of it just being you walking through the sidewalk, wouldn't it be better to have someone, or a group of friends next to you while walking down the sidewalk? Instead of it being just the sound of wind you hear, wouldn't it be better to hear conversations and laughter?

Something as simple as walking with a friend on the sidewalk, something as meager as that, is my dream.

Have you ever tried to be outgoing and approaching poeple?

 

[Ak5]

I'm going to start to join clubs next month and try to reconnect with people I've known since I was a little kid. The problem is that I have no ******* idea how to act or what to say. My social skills at this point are untuned. Before I didn't speak to people because I felt inferior, now that I feel superior I don't speak to people because I have no idea what to say; how do people talk now-a-days? What do I do to not sound lame? Mostly everybody knows what to say or do, I don't; 5 years of no social skills can do that to you. What can I do? These people have years of expertise in social skills, I don't; I am just starting! And I'm terrified at what might happen, I don't want to be like this anymore, its so **** horrible.

Oh and yes, I have nothing else to do right now than to contemplate loneliness and suicide. Depression unfortunately.

 

[beans]

I'm going to start to join clubs next month and try to reconnect with people I've known since I was a little kid. The problem is that I have no ******* idea how to act or what to say. My social skills at this point are untuned. And I'm terrified at what might happen, I don't want to be like this anymore, its so **** horrible.

I think that's a great idea. Let me just say that fear will stop you from having friends and experiencing love or life. And the best cure to face fears is to face them head on. The problem with us is that we focus so much on ourselves when really, everyone is busy thinking about themselves.

youtube has a lot of videos on how to improve social skills, what to talk about when with people etc. It's all there. Besides if you didn't say anything at the club, will you die? No. But its better than being on here and talking to a bunch of people you'll never meet. I mean, nothing wrong with coming on here. Just don't rely on it to replace your real social life!

 

[Ak5]

I'm going to start to join clubs next month and try to reconnect with people I've known since I was a little kid. The problem is that I have no ******* idea how to act or what to say. My social skills at this point are untuned. And I'm terrified at what might happen, I don't want to be like this anymore, its so **** horrible.

I think that's a great idea. Let me just say that fear will stop you from having friends and experiencing love or life. And the best cure to face fears is to face them head on. The problem with us is that we focus so much on ourselves when really, everyone is busy thinking about themselves.

youtube has a lot of videos on how to improve social skills, what to talk about when with people etc. It's all there. Besides if you didn't say anything at the club, will you die? No. But its better than being on here and talking to a bunch of people you'll never meet. I mean, nothing wrong with coming on here. Just don't rely on it to replace your real social life!

I sort of get what you mean. Although, facing it head on is like going to a war with no armor and weapons. What I am terrified of is that "awkward silence" moment. What do I do? I have zero ideas. Basically feeling hopeless right now.

 

[beans]

I'm going to start to join clubs next month and try to reconnect with people I've known since I was a little kid. The problem is that I have no ******* idea how to act or what to say. My social skills at this point are untuned. And I'm terrified at what might happen, I don't want to be like this anymore, its so **** horrible.

I think that's a great idea. Let me just say that fear will stop you from having friends and experiencing love or life. And the best cure to face fears is to face them head on. The problem with us is that we focus so much on ourselves when really, everyone is busy thinking about themselves.

youtube has a lot of videos on how to improve social skills, what to talk about when with people etc. It's all there. Besides if you didn't say anything at the club, will you die? No. But its better than being on here and talking to a bunch of people you'll never meet. I mean, nothing wrong with coming on here. Just don't rely on it to replace your real social life!

I sort of get what you mean. Although, facing it head on is like going to a war with no armor and weapons. What I am terrified of is that "awkward silence" moment. What do I do? I have zero ideas. Basically feeling hopeless right now.

It's not a war literally. It's just getting out of your comfort zone. When you have fears, you want to be in your comfort zone. However, being in your comfort zone will not change anything. Zero. Nada.

You can watch some youtube videos to get some idea.


Awkward silence is easy. Just

1) smile
2) say Hi

and I dunno what clubs you go to, and what kind of people you're meeting but there's tonnes to talk about e.g interests etc.

It's really all about taking interest in someone.

People feel good when you take an interest in them and it starts by asking questions about them.

 

[Ak5]

Yeah I know about that comfort zone stuff. What I need is a little bit more advice, support, so I don't screw up. Oh and I don't have autism or any other mental issues. My doctors have said so. All they say I have is typical anxiety. Like I said, my main problem is that I haven't used social skills for years, so all I need is a little advice.

 

[beans]

Yeah I know about that comfort zone stuff. What I need is a little bit more advice, support, so I don't screw up. Oh and I don't have autism or any other mental issues. My doctors have said so. All they say I have is typical anxiety. Like I said, my main problem is that I haven't used social skills for years, so all I need is a little advice.

Sorry I didn't go through that video, I thought it was a general one. Well how about this?

 

[Ak5]

Yeah I know about that comfort zone stuff. What I need is a little bit more advice, support, so I don't screw up. Oh and I don't have autism or any other mental issues. My doctors have said so. All they say I have is typical anxiety. Like I said, my main problem is that I haven't used social skills for years, so all I need is a little advice.

Sorry I didn't go through that video, I thought it was a general one. Well how about this?

Thanks.

 

[beans]

Yeah I know about that comfort zone stuff. What I need is a little bit more advice, support, so I don't screw up. Oh and I don't have autism or any other mental issues. My doctors have said so. All they say I have is typical anxiety. Like I said, my main problem is that I haven't used social skills for years, so all I need is a little advice.

Sorry I didn't go through that video, I thought it was a general one. Well how about this?

Sorry, I just don't know what teenagers usually talk about. I am 28 and I usually do well with older people. Of course people my age and older is fine for me. But I too, would have less to say when I'm around teens and children. Children for me is awkward too until I got a job at a kids edu centre and it used to be hard for me to talk to kids, even my own nephews. But because I kept seeing a lot of kids, I kinda picked up how they generally act/say, so that's why its helpful to meet as many people as you can.


I still don't really know what to say with teens because once I was talking to this 18 year old girl and I often don't know what to say to her but she told me that she doesn't like people asking her "how is school? how is studies? what are you studying?" and yet those are my favourite questions I'd ask a teen. lol. She said people her age don't like to talk about that but they prefer to talk about movies and such. So there you go. lol
Thanks.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I sort of get what you mean. Although, facing it head on is like going to a war with no armor and weapons. What I am terrified of is that "awkward silence" moment. What do I do? I have zero ideas. Basically feeling hopeless right now.

If you have a group with a common interest, you should not have too many of those awkard silences. When it does happen, you'll learn and adapt. Its good to be aware of gaps in one's skill, but you should never let them paralyze you from the opportunity of learning. That fear is a challenge for you to attempt to brave it, not a warning for you to lee away.