Was this always your destination?

[SilentLife]

Very interesting thread. And some very good thoughts in here. Thoroughly enjoyed.

To be honest, yes, deep down I somehow have felt my fate. But occasionally there are some situations, which create belief that it may not be like that. Retrospectively you can call them illusions.

One of the biggest illusions I had was about 6 years ago (aged 25). Mentally I went through a big change in my life. I got rid of many fears and my social skills improved considerably too. As a result during subsequent years my social circle started to gradually change too.

The illusion I had was that now I could get a girlfriend any time I want. But it wasn't meant to be. I realized there are still some things I can't change. That are unique to me. Like my sensitiveness, the way I "am", react to things, things that make me laugh, the way I sense the world, the amount of energy I have, introversion, etc, things like that. In short - the genes I was born with. The guidelines for my ultimate life fate. At best I could be attractive for women at first sight, but then their excitement dies rather quickly. It must be written into my face, all behaviour and actions, that I am "weak".

I don't fit into any subcultures, I am completely my own man, I am "too different" wherever I am. I think and view and understand the world completely differently to others.

Anyway, rant over. Yes, the writing has been on the wall forever.

 

[user 139760]

Very interesting thread. And some very good thoughts in here. Thoroughly enjoyed.

To be honest, yes, deep down I somehow have felt my fate. But occasionally there are some situations, which create belief that it may not be like that. Retrospectively you can call them illusions.

One of the biggest illusions I had was about 6 years ago (aged 25). Mentally I went through a big change in my life. I got rid of many fears and my social skills improved considerably too. As a result during subsequent years my social circle started to gradually change too.

The illusion I had was that now I could get a girlfriend any time I want. But it wasn't meant to be. I realized there are still some things I can't change. That are unique to me. Like my sensitiveness, the way I "am", react to things, things that make me laugh, the way I sense the world, the amount of energy I have, introversion, etc, things like that. In short - the genes I was born with. The guidelines for my ultimate life fate. At best I could be attractive for women at first sight, but then their excitement dies rather quickly. It must be written into my face, all behaviour and actions, that I am "weak".

I don't fit into any subcultures, I am completely my own man, I am "too different" wherever I am. I think and view and understand the world completely differently to others.

Anyway, rant over. Yes, the writing has been on the wall forever.

LOL I don't want to contradict you, but in my exprience, that's a strenght someone will eventually cherish more than anything else.

Being a man isn't about "being weak". It's the exact same thing as being "a woman"; it's being the best person you can be.
I'm what you call "a man". Chest hair and all. I still been single for 10 years. I have square shoulders, women enjoy looking at me (I think lol) and yet...sometimes my daughter wants me to be a princess, I'm a princess. I'm particularly talented at imitating a gay man, as such, I'll borrow a girlfriend's purse and clown around (usually with her high heels). I'll cry watching Snow White and Nemo (and Saving Private Ryan or Independance Day, come on; the President's speech is BEAUTIFUL!). I consider myself a man not because I can beat my chest or kick ass, it's because I'm a good person. I don't define myself by my sex or the standards set by said sex from the society around me. Neither should you. Being a good person and adapting to different situations is what makes one attractive in my experience. All it takes after that is patience, and improving one's self.

Eventually, you meet very special people. Not necessarily quickly, but you do and the next thing you know you wonder how you could have lived your life without them.

Keep faith, bro ;-)