What am I s'posed to do??

[Hon]

Hey there folks...

I am not lonely per se, but I appear to be a loner to others. They feel that I am in a shell. But the fact is I don't like opening up to people. I mean that's how I am.

Well I am very well educated, well read, well spoken person & confident person. People who get to know me usually love to have me as their friend but I am pretty selective. I am friendly but people start expecting things from me such as they want me to share my life.. something which I am not very comfortable with. The more aloof I want to be, the more attention I get. I avoid people. When people share their problems, I genuinely listen to them but I can't share my problems. It's not only that. I am a no-nonsense person. And rather than gossiping about other people, I'd rather read a book (I am addicted to books). From other's point of view, you can deduce that I lack social skills whereas I don't think so.

I had a break up last year and took a vow not to be in a relation for sometime. I am still single and I enjoy being single. But somewhere I feel that I am being hard hearted.. cold. Sometimes I feel that I am unable to have emotions anymore

Kinda scared!!

 

[Twitchy]

Hey there folks...

I am not lonely per se, but I appear to be a loner to others. They feel that I am in a shell. But the fact is I don't like opening up to people. I mean that's how I am.

Kinda scared!!

I suppose if you enjoy being single and a loner, then there's really nothing you need to do about it. You're not hard hearted or emotionless, because you're displaying worry about your situation.

When you're ready to have a relationship or close friends, you'll probably just have to start opening up more to people. Until then, maybe you can practice talking to the cat, a piece of furniture or the people here.

 

[Minus]

You are not lonely, you feel that you are well educated and confident. You say you enjoy being single and want to put off being in a relationship again.

If you are happy with things then does it make any difference if you "appear to be a loner to others?"

Maybe i am just totally missing the point but it sounds like you are saying that you are pretty satisfied with things except for people's expectation that that you share more information about yourself then you are comfortable with. If you are okay with that then it is no problem. If that is a problem for you then as Twitchy said, you can always practice here.

 

[Hon]

No, I don't give a **** how people perceive me but then It should not hurt people. I don't want people to expect from me. But at the same time I feel that this rigid behaviour of mine is pushing me away from people. It's not that I don't want to share my problems. The thing is there are lots of people who are ready to listen to me but still I feel I have no one to talk to. Probably, I am too demanding.

 

[dbsherri]

Well, I could have written that. I read a book or two a week; can bury myself in a good book. I can socialize, I can share, I can open up and I can be a good friend.

But I can only stay on the phone for a few minutes...just enough time to schedule something, for instance. I don't like chatting away with people.

I have been single my whole life (as in never married) and while I enjoy being single, I do get lonely. But being alone and being lonely are not the same thing, as we all know.

Kind of like the pain I am in all the time; it took me a long time to realize that pain and suffering are two different things. Pain is usally something we can't control. Suffering, we can, to some extent. We can moan and groan and make the pain worse, or we can accept things the way they are and choose to be happy.