What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?

[Littlesecret]

Honey, you don't know honeysuckle about me. And I don't "fangirl" anything. I'm not 12
I also don't judge people based on their appearances. People are people, it doesn't matter what mother ******* clothes they wear or what they do in their free time. They are JUST as deserving of life as you are. So, pull the self entitled stick out of your ass and the fresia up.

As far as the girl. I hope she stays far away from you because you are going down a dangerous path. You say they are bad boys, but I feel sorry for any girl that gets with you because you will likely be abusive. I can see that from what you write and the way you obsess over someone that was never yours. Boohoo, she chose someone other than you. Go drown your sorrows with a ******* joint and move the fresia on. SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU!

Sure I don't know anything about you, except for everything you say that clearly states you are biased towards people of that type. I know all I need to know.

And never say never. She could wind up with me someday and then I'm going to laugh in all your faces. fresia moving on. fresia acceptance. fresia knowing my role. I'm going to win, and the "badasses" are going to lose. I don't care how long it takes. Just wait.

Dude, it's getting so creepy now! At first I thought you were just a 'fool in love' but now what your saying makes you sound slightly (trying to be nice) unhinged.
You really need to chill because I fear where you will end up!

 

[Rosebolt]

And never say never. She could wind up with me someday and then I'm going to laugh in all your faces. fresia moving on. fresia acceptance. fresia knowing my role. I'm going to win, and the "badasses" are going to lose. I don't care how long it takes. Just wait.

You're on the edge, Ska. It's still not too late, but it might just become too late. Even if you get the girl, the bad guys will still ride motorcycles and smoke weed. They will still drink and pick fights. Nothing will change. I know it feels like she is the missing piece. If she is with you, you can be you again, you will be a winner again.

Do you know where this enormous energy inside you will go when you do get her? Will it all be converted to love? Even if that is so, you will not be able to properly control it. Trust me on that one. If someone gets overloaded with energy of any kind, they will most likely flee. Even if the energy seems good.

It's going to destroy, Ska. It's going to destroy you, and her. It has already partly destroyed you.

 

[TheSkaFish]

You're on the edge, Ska. It's still not too late, but it might just become too late. Even if you get the girl, the bad guys will still ride motorcycles and smoke weed. They will still drink and pick fights. Nothing will change. I know it feels like she is the missing piece. If she is with you, you can be you again, you will be a winner again.

Do you know where this enormous energy inside you will go when you do get her? Will it all be converted to love? Even if that is so, you will not be able to properly control it. Trust me on that one. If someone gets overloaded with energy of any kind, they will most likely flee. Even if the energy seems good.

It's going to destroy, Ska. It's going to destroy you, and her. It has already partly destroyed you.

Well, if you want to get technical, it's more like the bad guys will still ride motorcycles and smoke meth/crack/heroin. I don't think smoking weed is full-on EVIL, I just think it's kind of a waste of time (and improper use of cannabis - I do believe in its medicinal value but as an edible, not a smokable and not just to get high). I used to smoke myself, until I realized I didn't like it. It made me complacent with boredom, going nowhere. I needed to get off the merry-go-round of sloth.

But I digress and I don't care what they do as long as I get her back again. I think my levels of anger would decrease to a mild dislike/disinterest, versus HATE.

Also to be clear I know several friends who own motorcycles, but the difference is that none of them do the "macho" outlaw thing. No tattoos, no tough-guy leather, no guns, no hard drugs. That's what I hate. I like vehicles. So my venom was directed at the outlaws and outlaw-wannabes, not enthusiasts. People that do it for image and status versus interest. Maybe I didn't make that clear.

But it's kind of like what you said. I don't feel whole right now. I feel like a piece of me is just missing. I do feel partly destroyed already.

 

[TheRealCallie]

 

[TheSkaFish]

Hey, no problem. Laugh while you can. I'll be the one laughing when I kick life's ass and get all of what I want, and keep it too.

---

fresia this situation. fresia these smug ******** telling me I'll never win. Why does this bullshit have to happen to me. Most people never have to experience this but it's all I ******* get, EVER. ********* I just ******* hate this so much.

 

[Peaches]

feeling overweight, and hungry, sigh

 

[Tealeaf]

Spank that ass?

 

[InSearchOfPeople]

Feeling tired of all of it. Tired of looking for work, money, answers, girls, all of it. Sometimes I just want to say fresia everything. Sometimes I just want to quit everything and start over. I wish life came with a reset button. I really do.

Now I feel like honeysuckle for my reply to your other post.

Well, you apologized/excused the "bad boys" and basically told me to just accept my position as someone who can't succeed. That I don't get the good things, I get to just accept. That the story of my life is going to be just taking it. Because who I am is a person who will only get to experience losing, that I can't get anything I want. That the situation with the girl I love is hopeless, because I am hopeless. Because fresia me. You basically told me to lay down and die.

---

Feeling hopeless. Feeling dead and beaten.

---

Same here...

And you know, it is possible. That reset button is in our own mind, we just need to find a trigger to it.

On this subject, my favorite quote is the name of Chris Gardner's book "START WHERE YOU ARE".

No regrets, no what ifs, not looking for anybody's approval. Just right now, at the moment, with whatever you have, you can have a fresh start, only need to make a decision for a brand new life.

But what does that mean? I want to be someone who is stronger than my problems. I want to be someone who can go toe-to-toe against the competition for the limited amount of anything desirable in this world, and win. The last thing I want to do is to learn resignation and acceptance, that I am just not someone who gets what they want. I hope you don't mean that the reset button is just choosing not to care about anything. Because that's not at all what I want.

What is this reset button?

---

---

The reset button is to accept that you can't change the past, but you can get up and change the present.

It is extremely important to PACE YOURSELF.

At the worst times, I think about other people my age or even younger, I scroll down the newsfeed in FB and get depressed, thinking, why after all I suffered and after all the hard work I've done, I still feel like I have to start from zero. At those moments I want everything and now and realizing impossibility of that, I break apart.

So make a plan of what is it that you want. Plan should be reasonable. Do not wish for something you can't have, you'll just depress yourself.

I don't know your whole love story, I just came to this forum few days ago. But if you tried and the girl is not with you, then may be she is not for you. Sometimes God keeps us from what is not good for us or may be it is just not the time yet.
We may want something badly, thinking "this is it", but we may not know or overlook something that would show us and make us understand that there is a reason for everything. And while chasing something or someone that is not for you, you can miss on people and things that were truly meant to be yours.

Find passion, find your button. What is it that you like to do, what are you good at?! Sometimes it is not easy. Only recently I realized, that most people don't have passion in their lives. They work to pay bills, marry, because it's time, have kids by certain age, and etc etc....

I am 28 and I haven't found my passion yet. But after all I keep trying.
It is much easier to do when you have a circle of supporting people around you. But it's not always that good. Thank God for this forum.

So make a reasonable plan for the next 6 months. Do not include in it things and wishes that you have no power over. And concentrate only on what you can do. Be flexible.

If that girl was meant to be for you, she will come along when she sees, you are busy pursuing your happiness, or may be while working toward your personal goals (not dreams) you will meet someone better.

 

[Solivagant]

Now I feel like honeysuckle for my reply to your other post.

Well, you apologized/excused the "bad boys" and basically told me to just accept my position as someone who can't succeed. That I don't get the good things, I get to just accept. That the story of my life is going to be just taking it. Because who I am is a person who will only get to experience losing, that I can't get anything I want. That the situation with the girl I love is hopeless, because I am hopeless. Because fresia me. You basically told me to lay down and die.

That is not what he said at all. o_0

 

[TheSkaFish]

That is not what he said at all. o_0

He might as well have. It's the same idea.

 

[johnny196775]

Yesterday I said hi to a cat and today I actually spoke to a grocery clerk.

 

[thelonegamer]

Hoping I enjoy life before I die

 

[TheSkaFish]

Find passion, find your button. What is it that you like to do, what are you good at?! Sometimes it is not easy. Only recently I realized, that most people don't have passion in their lives. They work to pay bills, marry, because it's time, have kids by certain age, and etc etc....

This is something I've noticed as well. I think it's why a lot of my life has a certain kind of "sameness" to it. I want to do more, I've been wanting this for a while. It's easy to get complacent like a lot of people do...let's watch the big game, go to the bar, buy a car and drive around in circles. I am not saying the stuff most people like is repulsive, I can see the appeal. And I can see how it's comfortable. I could see myself getting comfortable with that. But I just want to be so much more because I know it exists. I need to re-find my mission.

So make a reasonable plan for the next 6 months. Do not include in it things and wishes that you have no power over. And concentrate only on what you can do. Be flexible.

6 month plan:

-Get this marketing internship I've started looking at.
-Succeed at the marketing internship and transition to full-time, or at least get a reference.
-Possibly get a side gig as a research volunteer at a local library to get some references/cash (and get some Beast Wars figures )
-Sell my car/either plan to not have a car and save, or trade. Depends. As much as I like cars, I'd really like to get a full-time job downtown and take the train.
-Take guitar lessons.
-Get back into books.
-MAYBE go to Seattle and visit my friends if time/money permits.

If that girl was meant to be for you, she will come along when she sees, you are busy pursuing your happiness, or may be while working toward your personal goals (not dreams) you will meet someone better.

I don't know. Maybe it will work. I don't think I'll want to go out with anyone else though because there's just no one around like that. The only exception is this one other girl I knew-ish but that is really a stretch. She also lives far away, is currently taken, and I haven't talked to her in a long time. Sometimes I worry that I've been on the shelf too long and am starting to expire. I don't want to be alone but I'm getting tired of worrying about it. It's draining my energy from all the things I used to like. I don't know. It's just not happening right now and I don't know when or if it ever will. I think it's like baseball - 3 strikes looking, and now I'm out.

 

[Ymir]

I'm far too young to be this old. I'm wishing I wasn't sick and I wish I didn't have so many responsibilities and plans and expectations set upon me by myself and others. I really can't handle all this work but it will be worse if I step away.

I'm hoping that eventually my life will slow down a little so I can get some time to breathe and focus on myself and my health.

 

[Tealeaf]

Excessive heat warning where I live today. I thought the sun looked a little more terrible than usual.

 

[Littlesecret]

I'm feeling hopeful about moving out in February, I'm just worried about my nan but I've got to live my life. I always said I'll stay and care for her for a year after my grandad's passing, I just hate these guilt pangs for leaving her. Living here is only making me more reclusive, so it's for the best.

 

[thelonegamer]

Meh

 

[TheSkaFish]

I'm feeling hopeful about moving out in February, I'm just worried about my nan but I've got to live my life. I always said I'll stay and care for her for a year after my grandad's passing, I just hate these guilt pangs for leaving her. Living here is only making me more reclusive, so it's for the best.

I feel that. Part of me wants to move to Seattle and experience living with friends. I've never done that before, and also, it's expensive to live on one's own around here unless you're making high five to low six figures. Not only that but there's nothing really to do around here. In Chicago, the museums are neat. But once you've seen those, pretty much all that's left is bars and restaurants. Besides, there don't seem to be too many of my kind of people around here. There aren't really a lot of my kind of people anywhere, but around here there's just none. People just do the work-home-bars-home merry-go-round, with varying degrees of comfort. There isn't too much to talk about. I try to get out and bike but I wind up going down the same streets every day. There's really nowhere else to go.

But at the same time, I worry that if I left I'd never see some of my family again, maybe all. I don't blame them and I understand it's my choice to stay. But it's something to consider. I imagine I'll return to considering it again once it's time for me to move out. Then I'll have to decide if I want to decide if I want to seriously commit to this place, or leave.

 

[Peaches]

I so wish a fairy came and told me how to be a bit more lovable

 

[thelonegamer]

Feeling lost. Nowhere to comfort myself. Need someone to count on, to be openly weird with. Everything suddenly stopped making sense. I feel like a disease, people seek distance from me. Perhaps because I'm telling the truth they want to ignore? There's not enough time. Minutes and hours are fading before I can pronounce a word. I feel empty. I need to get into another world. I need a book. A good one.
School's fine