What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?

[Triple Bogey]

I can write about this now.
Feeling - it started a year ago at this time
Hoping - it never happens again
thinking - it was false and not normal and like always, I got carried away because somebody said they were interested
remembering - every day I thought it would go pear shaped. Every day. And it did like I knew it would. I should have seen it. People lie.

 

[lonelyfairy]

Don't give up, LonelyFairy! You've got many positive qualities - I've seen them displayed on the forum - so don't let life drag you down.

Aww, thank you so much. You're really kind.

 

[InSearchOfPeople]

6 month plan:

-Get this marketing internship I've started looking at.
-Succeed at the marketing internship and transition to full-time, or at least get a reference.
-Possibly get a side gig as a research volunteer at a local library to get some references/cash (and get some Beast Wars figures )
-Sell my car/either plan to not have a car and save, or trade. Depends. As much as I like cars, I'd really like to get a full-time job downtown and take the train.
-Take guitar lessons.
-Get back into books.
-MAYBE go to Seattle and visit my friends if time/money permits.

You got a great plan! So just stick to it.

As for me, today I feel super discouraged and I feel depression is like a marsh that is dragging me down.

I had a plan for the next 6 months too. And the first step, that was meant to be a start seems to not happen for the next 6 months. Or may be I picked the wrong people to deal with as always.

I've never been in a place like that before: wherever I go, whatever I do, I can't succeed in anything, even the small stuff.

Even in my darkest and poorest times, I felt like God was watching over me and always played out the circumstances the way, that I would succeed even when I thought there were no chances.

But now I feel abandoned.

 

[thelonegamer]

I feel the exact same way as you, InSearchOfPeople.
I'm lost for words, I don't know what to feel. I feel nothing. I have nothing. I have nothing to give nor to do. I'm trapped in my own existance, which I'm having a hard time changing.
Depressed isn't the word for how I feel, it's just a small part of it. I'm crushed, broken, smashed, thrown out of a building, bit by sharks, shot by a gazillion fireweapons. That could describe in a way

---

Even in my darkest and poorest times, I felt like God was watching over me and always played out the circumstances the way, that I would succeed even when I thought there were no chances.

But now I feel abandoned.

I've felt that way, too. One thing I can assure you is... God will always be there for you, even when your shadow leaves you.
You want something then go after it because no one will do that for you.
Stay strong. Cheers

 

[InSearchOfPeople]

Thelonegamer, thanks for an encouragement..... I never thought anyone can feel like I do and you do. How did we end up here...

The key problem for me is that I don't know what I want anymore.

Constant failure in the last few years wiped off all my wishes and desires, because it seems none of them will come true or even if they do, they won't give me happiness and satisfaction because in the end something will still not turn out the way I wanted it to.

So I am trying to make up some smaller goals, that would be practical and may be not so hard to achieve. And still there is zillion of obstacles on the way of reaching any of them, that make me wanna give up. And then I think "why even bother to try" and continue going in circles.

I feel like a rat in that wheel. Running somewhere and still on the same spot, because there is no destination.

 

[PieBeNice]

I remember how the guy who made this thread had that silly pic with the sunburns and the sideburns.

 

[Kitsune Tora]

That sausage sandwich was so good. Now I should probably do some actual work. But I can't be bothered. meh.

 

[Cavey]

That sausage sandwich was so good. Now I should probably do some actual work. But I can't be bothered. meh.

Replace sausage sandwich with enchilada and... ditto.

 

[Tealeaf]

I'm going through another one of those periods where I'm just too exhausted by people to bother with people.

Who do I bother with people? Not even competition has ever left me so worn out. When I was younger I used to be delighted at the praise I'd get for being a faster learner or more advanced than my classmates, and no matter how hard I worked for it that was only ever rewarding.

Sometimes I think revolving my life around something like money or achievement instead of people and family would just be the sensible choice.

I'm disappointed in myself for having spent all this time seeking love and companionship. What else could over a decade of time and energy have gone towards that might actually have had a payoff? What if I'd spent extra time studying instead of talking to people? What if I'd started cultivating marketable skills instead of reaching out to people and trying to connect with them? What if my depression hadn't had the added burden of loneliness?

Maybe I deserve this for the way I've chosen to live my life.

 

[thelonegamer]

I feel like a rat in that wheel. Running somewhere and still on the same spot, because there is no destination.

This is exactly how I feel. Everything feels pointless, like there is no reason to do anything anymore. And you just run in circles, going nowhere.
But trust me, never give up. It's a part of life where you must believe in yourself more than ever.
We will all die, my friend. What's the point in not doing anything? Better to try and fail than not to try and still fail (this quote would look good in a bar).
Cheers

 

[johnny196775]

I feel fine.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I feel fine.

Doesn't take much to get a song stuck in my head. lol
[video=youtube]

 

[johnny196775]

I feel fine.

Doesn't take much to get a song stuck in my head. lol
[video=youtube]

When i posted that i had the beatles song. i am fine, in my head.

 

[kamya]

This podcast made my month! :O Her experiences are unreal.
[video=youtube]

 

[painter's radio]

The title of this thread irks me. It's an irrational irk, probably, similar to how crazy it drives me when a person includes The Beatles in their favourite music list. Sure they were OK but there was so much better music from those times, music that wasn't horrid chirpy lalala guff.
But it's like you have these generic "What are you thinking" threads on a lot of forums, and nostalgia threads, and feeling threads. Then you have this one which is trying so hard to encompass everything, I'm sure if thread titles could be much longer it would have been the "What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, listening to, smelling, hearing, tasting, eating, touching, drinking, smoking and ******* right now?" thread. It's rather ambiguous.

It's irked me every time since I first saw it, but the fact I know it's an irrational irk has kept me holding back. But, it did ask me what I'm thinking and feeling right now. Well here it is!

#nooffence
#sorryforbeinggrumpy
#<3ureally

 

[murmi97]

I'm sure if thread titles could be much longer it would have been the "What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, listening to, smelling, hearing, tasting, eating, touching, drinking, smoking and ******* right now?" thread.

That'd be awesome. People would just be naming sex toys and leaving others that skimmed the title completely dumbfounded

 

[johnny196775]

The title of this thread irks me. It's an irrational irk, probably, similar to how crazy it drives me when a person includes The Beatles in their favourite music list. Sure they were OK but there was so much better music from those times, music that wasn't horrid chirpy lalala guff.
But it's like you have these generic "What are you thinking" threads on a lot of forums, and nostalgia threads, and feeling threads. Then you have this one which is trying so hard to encompass everything, I'm sure if thread titles could be much longer it would have been the "What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, listening to, smelling, hearing, tasting, eating, touching, drinking, smoking and ******* right now?" thread. It's rather ambiguous.

It's irked me every time since I first saw it, but the fact I know it's an irrational irk has kept me holding back. But, it did ask me what I'm thinking and feeling right now. Well here it is!

#nooffence
#sorryforbeinggrumpy
#<3ureally

I agree. i use this thread to basically just say whatever i feel like saying.

and hello.

 

[ladyforsaken]

The title of this thread irks me. It's an irrational irk, probably, similar to how crazy it drives me when a person includes The Beatles in their favourite music list. Sure they were OK but there was so much better music from those times, music that wasn't horrid chirpy lalala guff.
But it's like you have these generic "What are you thinking" threads on a lot of forums, and nostalgia threads, and feeling threads. Then you have this one which is trying so hard to encompass everything, I'm sure if thread titles could be much longer it would have been the "What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, listening to, smelling, hearing, tasting, eating, touching, drinking, smoking and ******* right now?" thread. It's rather ambiguous.

It's irked me every time since I first saw it, but the fact I know it's an irrational irk has kept me holding back. But, it did ask me what I'm thinking and feeling right now. Well here it is!

#nooffence
#sorryforbeinggrumpy
#<3ureally

*hugs* painter

 

[InSearchOfPeople]

I feel like a rat in that wheel. Running somewhere and still on the same spot, because there is no destination.

This is exactly how I feel. Everything feels pointless, like there is no reason to do anything anymore. And you just run in circles, going nowhere.
But trust me, never give up. It's a part of life where you must believe in yourself more than ever.
We will all die, my friend. What's the point in not doing anything? Better to try and fail than not to try and still fail (this quote would look good in a bar).
Cheers

I feel like I am so tired of trying. They say, it gets better in the morning. "Joy comes in the morning" (Bible).
I can't get a break at night, during the day or in the morning. I wake up with a thought "here we go again "

I know I need to make some major change. But what is it? Should I move? Should I quit my job and get another one? I tried to go on vacation with my mom and it gave me a very brief relief. And then at some point I even felt like it added more problems and burdens.

No matter what I try, I constantly look and feel like this: " ". How to stop this vicious cycle?!
I tried gym, I tried joining meet up, I tried vacation with my mom, I tried to make a major purchase, I tried dating website, I tried vitamins and supplements for mood, I tried dieting, I bought audio Bible, I tried reading psychology books, I made changes to my body and at the end " " this is all I feel.

 

[thelonegamer]

I feel like I am so tired of trying. They say, it gets better in the morning. "Joy comes in the morning" (Bible).
I can't get a break at night, during the day or in the morning. I wake up with a thought "here we go again "

I know I need to make some major change. But what is it? Should I move? Should I quit my job and get another one? I tried to go on vacation with my mom and it gave me a very brief relief. And then at some point I even felt like it added more problems and burdens.

No matter what I try, I constantly look and feel like this: " ". How to stop this vicious cycle?!
I tried gym, I tried joining meet up, I tried vacation with my mom, I tried to make a major purchase, I tried dating website, I tried vitamins and supplements for mood, I tried dieting, I bought audio Bible, I tried reading psychology books, I made changes to my body and at the end " " this is all I feel.

you're overthinking. never overthink. you will find zero answers in vacations or audio Bible. make peace with yourself, do what you like, when you like it. what makes you feel right wih yourself, be that eating a pound of chinese food or eating magnets or whatever, as long as that makes you feel good about yourself. be safe

---

I'm tired of limitations, of having someone telling me what I can or not do. that's the thing that gets deep into my nerves now. when someone tries to impose limits in my life. I bloody hate that and that's exactly what my parents are doing right now :/ can't wait to turn 21 and leave :/
and painter is right, but who can blame us? there are far worse stuff in life than a rather misplaced thread