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I don't feel good today because there's something wrong with me since Sunday night.
 
Bit scared last few days.
A friend of mine who I kept in touch sending e-mails with did not reply in almost a month.
Also, I checked her FB page, and its been quite a while since she posted anything.

So...I´m rather unsure about if she is all right. I may be just paranoid, but still.
 
Sometimes I forget I'm uncoordinated, sometimes I forget I'm imbalanced. Thanks for reminding me, you're a true friend! Ninjas crouch then ninjas pounce. And suburbia all farts. Unwavering grins and scowls that flight as often as water drops. No one ever requests my company, thanks for explaining why Mr. Reflection. Sometimes I forget I'm uncoordinated, sometimes I forget I'm imbalanced. I'm scummy and disgusting, unattractive. A chump, my bedsheets smell like sphincter sweat. I bludgeon myself in the head. It's punishment, plus it's fun! Everyone's annoyed by Brian, who am I to blame them? Blood oozes from my pores, life is a series of doors, opened and closed by mysterious whores, and nothing more. And I'm serious. I'm a failure. A waste of oxygen. I'm not a person. I am a wound, bleeding profusely, all over your dress.
 
kamya said:
jaguarundi said:
This feels like it is not going to be a good day.

Well it IS going to be a good day so too bad!

My Mum would have been 87 today. I was going to go on a long walk with my dog to take my mind off things, but the sun is not shining and it looks like rain. I am getting on in years, have no children, few friends and the one person who really did love me is dead. But I am very glad that it will be a good day for you, dood, honestly.:)

And I will no doubt pick myself up and feel the same by tomorrow, as I always strive to do. :)
 
jaguarundi said:
kamya said:
jaguarundi said:
This feels like it is not going to be a good day.

Well it IS going to be a good day so too bad!

My Mum would have been 87 today. I was going to go on a long walk with my dog to take my mind off things, but the sun is not shining and it looks like rain. I am getting on in years, have no children, few friends and the one person who really did love me is dead. But I am very glad that it will be a good day for you, dood, honestly.:)

And I will no doubt pick myself up and feel the same by tomorrow, as I always strive to do. :)

Sending you a virtual *hugs* on this sad day. It's never easy losing a parent but even harder on special occasions.Hope you'll be okay and the sun comes out so you and Trojan can enjoy a walk
 
jaguarundi said:
My Mum would have been 87 today. I was going to go on a long walk with my dog to take my mind off things, but the sun is not shining and it looks like rain. I am getting on in years, have no children, few friends and the one person who really did love me is dead. But I am very glad that it will be a good day for you, dood, honestly.:)

And I will no doubt pick myself up and feel the same by tomorrow, as I always strive to do. :)

*hugs* Sorry you're going through that today :( I think all the time about what I'm going to do when my mom goes and I can't think of much worse of a thing to have to go through. PM me if you feel like chatting with someone!
 
kamya said:
jaguarundi said:
My Mum would have been 87 today. I was going to go on a long walk with my dog to take my mind off things, but the sun is not shining and it looks like rain. I am getting on in years, have no children, few friends and the one person who really did love me is dead. But I am very glad that it will be a good day for you, dood, honestly.:)

And I will no doubt pick myself up and feel the same by tomorrow, as I always strive to do. :)

*hugs* Sorry you're going through that today :( I think all the time about what I'm going to do when my mom goes and I can't think of much worse of a thing to have to go through. PM me if you feel like chatting with someone!

Thanks babes. Some might think it should be easier when they, and you are older. It isn't. Best thing to do with parents is to love them while you can, and not worry about what will come.

Anyway, sitting here weeping onto my keyboard is not going to get the shopping done or the dog walked so I will have to pull myself together and get on before my eyes start to swell up, which is most unattractive apart from anything else.
 
For the first time in years, I dreamed that I could fly. Before this night I thought such dreams disappeared with youth & falling testosterone. It's like I regressed to my teenage years...

But, in the dream I didn't start out like that. I was taking a trip across the country with a group of people...there was some kind of screwup in the mountains & I ended up returning home. Then I went to this lecture about new developments in viral infection. At some point during the talk a woman sat behind me...20's, cute but not a stunner. An Asian of some sort. I don't recall why but we talked, she shifted to get a better view of the speaker (who was also a woman...a White woman), I tried urging her to move the other way for a better angle--& the Asian girl collapsed. She did not get up again.

Naturally the **** lecture was cancelled, a detective arrived & I gave a statement (where were the uniformed cops?), EMTs arrived & she was declared DOA, & everyone left the building. To make a long story short, I discovered I had the power to fly not too long after that...& I was also considered the prime suspect in the Asian chick's death. I was flying out of the city at over 600 feet off the ground, going maybe 70 mph & gaining speed, when I woke up.

It sounds like the plot from a graphic novel or an episode of "Heroes", but during the dream it didn't seem hokey at all.

Now that I think about it, in the dream I could've handled the lawdogs with a bit more finesse...
 
I should just cut you out of my life because all you do is disappoint me. It's not going to be easy due to how long we've been friends, but I just can't stand waiting around for you to choose when it is convenient for you to eventually contact me. What kind of friend waits months in between brief moments of contact!?
 

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