what can I do to get over her

[Aedammair]

What can I do to get over a crush I have had for over a decade? Logic tells me that I don't stand a chance. She has a life and it does not involve me. By holding onto this fallacy that I might be able win her, I have only hampered any attempt I might have at a love life.


Aedammair

 

[Ridin Solo]

I'm in a similar situation, only the crush lasted a few months... a decade? Holy honeysuckle, man. While I don't know your situation what I think you should do is this...

First... realize you have to love yourself MORE than anyone else. That means you have to sort of separate yourself from the "you that feels" and play a guardian-type role... you have to look out for the interest of the "you that feels" and pull him out of any situation that is destructive to his well-being. This may sound strange but I'm doing this right now and it is healing me a lot faster than just letting time go by.

She has obviously caused you pain whether directly or indirectly, intentional or otherwise... know that she is not worth you suffering because you can't have her. She's probably off living her merry life... move on and live yours. If you don't you are giving her power, control, and your nuts in a small glass jar.

There are women out there who won't give you all the negative feelings you're experiencing... only the positive ones (for the most part.) You just need to start the search.

 

[Aedammair]

It isn't who she is that causes pain. She just lives her life without even knowing. That is what hurts. She goes on dates and lives life while I can't seem to move on. I have always a been a bit of a nut for romantic ideas but right now they all see stupid. She wrote one facebook that she is falling for someone. I know its not me. And that is what hurts. I keep getting up my hopes just to watch them dashed.

Aedammair

She can't fall for you if your not their to catch her

 

[Ridin Solo]

She is causing you unintentional pain... it's not her fault but it is your burden... that's why you have to simply make a move or move on. If you really don't stand a chance like you say try to really internalize the points I described in my last post.

 

[*Sigh*]

I can sympathize with how your feeling. For me, to get over a crush is simply to completely forget about the girl, especially when you yourself don't feel like it's going to work out. Have you tried asking her our yet? If you get rejected then that feeling of rejection usually overrides your crush (at least for me that's what would happen), you might feel really low for a bit, but at least you can get over a long term crush. If she says yes, that means she at least has a speck of feeling for you and you just gotta make that feeling bigger. All I know is that having a 10 year crush on somebody and not doing anything isn't really helping you out.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

From my experince...I personally would make a move and let her know.
If i didn't let her know or tried, it would huant me..(especailly after 10 years of being in love with someone.)
I told someone that I've love very much for a very long time...and I don't regret it. I'm not afriad any more.
Especailly if she means the world to me. if she means the world to me...it means I will do anything and whatever it takes.
I never second guess it nor hesitated when the opprotunity present itself. That's becuase I've never second guess how much I love her.
I might not have all the answers to life but I possitively know I love her vdery much.

I can live with myself today. I have no control over her. I have control over me.
But at least I know...I tried. I did something about it. I was honest with her and striaght forward about it.
I gave myself a chance. I did that for me becuase I love and care about myself.
Most of all I was honest and true to myself.
I can't make her love me but she knows that I love her very much.

and you know what??
she loves me very, very much

 

[SophiaGrace]

Have you TOLD her you have a crush on her?

A decade is a very long time for a "crush" maybe you actually love her...

Put yourself out there. You never know what may happen

 

[Aedammair]

I haven't told her. I haven't even seen her in 10 years. I just found her again. I am actually trying to find new ways to talk to her. Right now All I am doing is IMing her. I have hinted that I still have feelings for her but each time I almost tell her I freak. Is it crazy to love a girl that you don't see. She has changed since I last saw her but that doesn't matter all that much to me. SHould I try to push for a relationship? How would a long distance relationship work? Should I tell her over IM or the phone or should I hold off until I see her face to face.

Thanks 4 all the advice. Just trying to keep my sanity.
Aedammair

 

[Badjedidude]

Hold off, IMO. I don't think that long-term relationships really work that well...there's just too much missing. Chemical, physical contact and attraction are very important parts of a romantic relationship. If you just IM her from afar and tell her you're into her, it won't be the same as face-to-face. She might not even return the sentiment without being able to SEE you.

Chicks love to see guys acting nervous and shy when they tell her that they like her, so do it in person and gain some brownie points with her! Even if you're not nervous, you can fake it!

----Steve

 

[Aedammair]

Yeah... Totaly possible to not be nervous around this girl Thanks dude. honestly. I will see her eventually. Just won't be for a couple months Gonna try calling her pretty soon. We'll see how that goes. I really want to get more contact than frickin IMing. Driving me crazy.

Don't think there is a girl out there who doesn't enjoy seeing a guy nervous.

Aedammair