What Do I FREAKING WANT?

[Phaedron]

@Lonesome Crow: When all girls see are other white guys. It makes the non-white ones stand out more and makes them more attractive because they are different.[/b]

Well, by that logic I should be able to get lucky If I tint my skin green. lol. Give ya the hulk or an orc warlord, her choice.

Somehow I don't think thats the reason your lady friends are "going black"

 

[Lonesome Crow]

@Lonesome Crow: When all girls see are other white guys. It makes the non-white ones stand out more and makes them more attractive because they are different.[/b]

Well, by that logic I should be able to get lucky If I tint my skin green. lol. Give ya the hulk or an orc warlord, her choice.

Somehow I don't think thats the reason your lady friends are "going black"

I believe at some level getting picked on at school and having an
abusive father made me tough in a way.
I'm not really a violent person. Instintively Im peaceful , nice
and play by the rules.
But after a while it became like an unfair boxing match.
I got tired of getting hitted below the belt.
Eventaully I threw some wild punches myself...knowing I'll get
penalized. But I have to stand up for myself.

I also believe the girls I meet see that in me.
I might be rough on the edges but deep down inside Im
really peacful.
At the sametime I also have to learn how to be my own person.
At some level or by default I became more independent.
I believe women see this in me beyound just me being
a sort of outcast or a lone wolf.

I also believe being forbidden love also plays a role.

While the negativities still continue to haunt me today.
As years go by Ive learn to dispursted them. Or not run
with those negative thoughts in my head as much.

There's not just one silver bullet that defines me as a person
or why certain women are attracted to me.
All the women Ive been with say Im handsome, cute , sexy..ect
They all also say I can be the nicest loving guy or person theyve met.
And if anyone of them hadgotten into relationships with me...
eventaully they'll also say...I can be a major prick when I get
angery.

When it comes to women and relationships...I dont always make wise decisions.
More often than not. I follow my heart or my emotions.
I dont always wear my heart on my sleeves.
Especifically with Sassy. My heart wasnt on my sleeve after what we gone through in our past.
I open my heart up to her again. I bared all my souls to her. I was willing to believe and turst her
again. It was a risk I had to take. I love her. Thats what my heart tells me. I love her.

No matter how much pains or hurted I ve experinced.
Im not closing my heart. I remain open to her, to life, to love.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Lonesome Crow: I guess I am just dead. My soul is cold because it stopped living years ago. Oh well, some people are just unlucky.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Idk....

I dont believe my fate is sealed at this moment oneway or the other.
There's certain things in life which I want.
My hope and dreams of being family with the one I love remains elusive.
I just try to remember the good times we had and the love we shared.

In a strange weird way I kind da understan how you feel.
To not have something that you really want and need can
hinder our spirits.

I gave up on the idea of wanting to die...it's something I personally
cannot bare.

All I can do is keep my head up as best I can for whatever
moment Im alive and breathing.

Somedays are better than others.
Somedays I can laugh and joke. Be around people....ect
Other days..I wish not to be around anyone nor even around women.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

It just sucks when you best will always lead to failure.

 

[Didgrog]

I am incapacitated by the isolation and accompanying lonliness in my life. I have not had success with any relationship, any job or any aspect of human living in over a decade. I am poor, disabled and probably going to lose my apartment by the end of the month. Day follows day, and I am totally alone. I have 'debts no honest man can pay' and cannot foresee a situation or circumstance where I can improve my life. I am afraid of the day and rendered useless by the night.

Recently I have recognized that there is an enormous difference between being alive and being 'not dead'. What does it mean to anyone else to be 'alive'? If your days are not met with any smiles, any joy, any validation, are you really alive? I am alive inasmuch as I have a pulse. Clinically, I'm living. I breathe. Does this mean I am 'alive'?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I know what you mean, man. I get depressed when I'm around attractive women, and I know I will never get them.

However, the truth is that women are just that...women. Hot or not. I'd highly suggest that you aim for more average looking girls, not ones you find completely unattractive, but ones that you feel would like you for who you are.

A foolish man puts worth on the hotness of a woman he's around. We're all going to get old eventually and lose our looks.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I know what you mean, man. I get depressed when I'm around attractive women, and I know I will never get them.

However, the truth is that women are just that...women. Hot or not. I'd highly suggest that you aim for more average looking girls, not ones you find completely unattractive, but ones that you feel would like you for who you are.

A foolish man puts worth on the hotness of a woman he's around. We're all going to get old eventually and lose our looks.

My question then becomes, why is everyone on the planet so convinced that very attractive people will not like you for who you are? Is it because they know they cannot do better or that they know I will be loyal?

Too bad I am not so pathetic and desperate that I can fake truly wanting an average female. Well I am also not so awesome at getting females that I can see past physical beauty either.

Finally, why start out with something ugly? Why not wait till we all lose our looks then not care? Why waste the time of life where we can be beautiful and stuff on being average or ugly?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Nothing last forever....
For better or for worst.

Life changes. People, places and things change.

I change. Sometimes for the better. Other times for the worst.
I see things in a new light as I evolve.

Sometimes i make progress. Other times I degressed.
As other people will do the same...no matter whom they are.

You'll be a fool assuming nice people are always going
to nice, decent or act right.

You're also be a fool assuming that you'll grow old or everyone
grows old. Young people died everyday.

You might have today. Tommorrow is not a garantee.
Nothing is garantee in life, wheather it be your ideal partner,
vocation, family, home..ect

In this moment..that's all we're promised or have.

Not everyone assume hot looking female are bitches.
As I dont assume an ugly ***** is ganna be nice either.

Every rose has it's thorns...

A cake without frosting can be a bit dull and dry.

I do what I do sometimes, in the moment.
IDK...Ive experinced a varity of different experinces in my life.

Ive never regreted being with a beautiful woman. Just regret that it couldnt last forver.
They can been very very nice and sweet. They all can turn into a major ***** when they want, just the same.

Yes, i lived in a country home with picket fences with a sweet gal.
2 kids,2 puppies, 5 gold fishes, 2 cars...ect

Ive also slept in my car for a month or so cuase there's not too many
shelter for homeless men. Thats how I met Juliet.

She used to take me home with her so i can shower and what not.
I had to pinch myself all the time evertytime i stand on her balcany
over looking the beautiful city and ocean. It was real, not hollywood.
Juliet is very hot beautiful woman, rich and nice. She needed me to comfort her
soul as much as i needed her. She's one of the nicest, sweetiest, intelligent
well educated, well traveled, wisest people Ive met....
What did she see in me??????

Anyway...I walked away from Juliet becuase I love Sassy.
What Im saying is. For me.....
I had to do what was right for me.
I Love who I love and I had to give Sassy and I a fair chance.
Even though I still feel I havnt gotten a fair chance all these years.
Sassy is a pretty woman. I love her for alot more reasons than her looks.
She's 42 but she's still very very beautiful to me and will always be beautiful to me.
I love Sassy very much...that's why I have relationships issues with other women.
IDK..if I'll ever be able to resolve this...at the moment. Maybe someday I will.

Juliet is sortta prettier than sassy and more stable than sassy in many ways.
But i can't compair these two women. They're not the same poeple.
I love sassy and I dont need to explain my love for her or why I love her to anyone.

I dont think you need anyone else approvals or what thier ideas are to love someone or be attractive to someone.
It's your life...Do what's best for you.

 

[somber_radiance]

I know what you mean, man. I get depressed when I'm around attractive women, and I know I will never get them.

However, the truth is that women are just that...women. Hot or not. I'd highly suggest that you aim for more average looking girls, not ones you find completely unattractive, but ones that you feel would like you for who you are.

A foolish man puts worth on the hotness of a woman he's around. We're all going to get old eventually and lose our looks.

My question then becomes, why is everyone on the planet so convinced that very attractive people will not like you for who you are? Is it because they know they cannot do better or that they know I will be loyal?

Too bad I am not so pathetic and desperate that I can fake truly wanting an average female. Well I am also not so awesome at getting females that I can see past physical beauty either.

Finally, why start out with something ugly? Why not wait till we all lose our looks then not care? Why waste the time of life where we can be beautiful and stuff on being average or ugly?

I used to get depressed around hot women too because I know I can never look like that without dishing out some serious cash and going under the knife. Then I realized looks don't matter THAT much in the big picture.

IT IS SOOOO SHALLOW to only care about looks.

Or maybe you've just never met anyone that was beautiful from the inside. And I don't mean they are fugly with a good heart. I mean they are sort of average looking...even pretty (6 or 7 out of 10)....but then their personalities are so sunny...they just look more and more attractive every time you see them.

Some of my closest friends are like that. I don't think much of their looks at first. But because of their personalities...they either become more beautiful...or more unattractive.

That being said...depressing people are depressing to be around so they become more and more unattractive every time we hang out. People who complain...talk down on others...etc. It gets to the point where I'm like...okay give me a dull knife to stab you with...JUST EFFING SHUT UP! Debbie Downers = minus points for attractiveness.

I don't mean you need to be all bright and cheery like the summer sun. People who are just nice or polite...heck if they smile when you see them...somehow it's suddenly +1 for attractiveness.

I don't understand how some people cannot look past physical appearances. It's a very immature/undeveloped perspective of people. For me, that "only looks matter" time in my life was my crazy lovesick teen girl/fan girl phase of my life. I prefer an average looking guy with a great mind. I've met too many no-brain-Adonises.

If all you're looking for is sex...looks shouldn't matter. All the most notorious sluts on campus are not attractive...just really easy and horny...and apparently they are really fun (and will try anything) bc they get around A LOT. I know a few and about 70% of the guys I know have slept with them..including a not-so-good-looking guy friend of mine who wasn't getting any...yep he got some too in the end. So if you just want sex...you're going after the wrong type of girls.

Good looks don't add THAT much value to life. ...even less so if it's the good looks of the person standing next to you who you don't know how long you can claim as your BF/GF. Those girls that are 10+ on a scale of 10 are like...celebrity level. We can't all aim for only the Scarlett Johanssons of the world. That's unrealistic. It's like trying to get 100% on every single test you take in life.

Unrealistic. And. Unnecessary.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I think ugly people are the ones that put too much emphaisis on looks...
becuase that's what on their mind all the fucken time are how they look.

Ive been around lots of pretty people. They actaully seldom thinks or
talk about looks. They sure the the hell dont obsess over it.
It's just one less thing they have to worry about...

What they do think about are personal hygene, dress for proper occasions or being well groom,
which is a far cry from getting obsess about it or being a snott about it.

All of my daughters are hotties...
They get hitted on all the time by guys...they actaully thinks it's annoying
after a while. They have other things on thier minds or other issues pending.
Yes, they dont have trouble getting dates...ect

Kimi got picked on most of her life becuase of her looks.
She was a pretty little girl and is a pretty young woman.
The mean ass ugly bitches picked on her. Ugly people on the inside and outside.
The fucken haters that hate others cuase they hate themselves and cant accept themselves.

It's like this...
I was in wal mart not to long ago.
Theres was a couple of with a child.
The young woman was in her 20s.
She's over wieght and wears glasses.
Plus she also has sometype of deformity.
Both of her arms were short and stubby.
She only had 3 fingers on each hands.
her husband was a pretty decent looking young man. A lot better looking than I am...
If you cant get a fucken date....I dont know what to tell you.
Well..he's not rich to be shopping at the walmart.lmao
Yes, i was in TX, in a dead end town. So they live a certain life style.lmao

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@somber_radiance: Money is always going to be a problem. There are plenty of females who dish out serious cash for the gym an nutrition. So there is no reason to believe that external beauty is all plastic and stitches. I have noticed with a lot of pictures of females who have a lot of plastic surgery that they look off and weird in an unattractive way as well.

I love how people tell me it is so shallow to only care about looks. I do not only care about looks. However, looks are the main attraction trigger for males. No matter what any man says. It is only once a man can have any female that he wants that he looks past them. Well that or a man just wants to have a female, any female. If I do not find a female attractive that is not my fault. I mean you do not find every guy you encounter as attractive do you? At the end of the day I want someone attractive. If people have a problem with that then they can bite me.

I love how girls all say they want an Average guy. I have always wondered why that is. Is it because an average guy is more likely to be faithful or is it because an average guy is more like a pet? I mean if you are the attractive one in the family then the unattractive one will want to stay right? I also ask the question what is so wrong with wanting the best possible mate? I do not qualify someone as the best possible mate if the word Average appears anywhere near them. The lowest they get is a good. I always wonder why people seem to think that they cannot have a mate that rates a 3.7 (GPA wise). As far as I see people seem obsesses with finding mates that are, at best a 2.25 (Again GPA wise). Where they excel at one thing and limp along at the rest.

You know good looks actually do add much more to life. Taming an attractive mate feels good and boosts your confidence. Having that mate be the envy of everyone else, also a confidence boost. People who have always been attractive never think about how much being able to mate builds their confidence. Lets face facts they cannot do that. If I could I would put all my thoughts experiences and emotions into someone who has always been attractive. Then and only then they might know the value.

@Lonesome Crow: I think you hit the hammer on the head. Ugly people do think about appearances more. Why, because god forbid they do not have the same external validation that attractive people have. Attractive people have that validation. They have gone out on dates, they have had many significant others, they have had sex. As you put it your daughters are annoyed by it. Tell you what let me trade places with them. They can enter a world where everyone thinks you are ugly and not have to worry about being hit on ever again. We will see how long their egos hold up. I promise you that they will not hold up. Attractive people talk a big game. Problem is that once this HUGE source of confidence goes away. Guess what they will realize just how dependent their confidence was on it. If your daughters have problems. Tell them how to get ugly. A very easy way is to have them be fat. Tell them to gain 300 lbs. Then the guys will stop knocking.

This guy you talk about in Texas. He is doing what our friend somberance wants to do. He is shooting lower because he knows he can do better. However, by shooting lower he is ensuring a mate because he is so much more attractive than her. You are right though there is nothing any one can do for me because I cannot get a date. Such is life, some people are born to just be the butt end of a joke. I am one of those people. Lucky for me people like me do not last very long. Once my cat dies I will be right there with her.

 

[putter65]

I think ugly people are the ones that put too much emphaisis on looks...
becuase that's what on their mind all the fucken time are how they look.

Ive been around lots of pretty people. They actaully seldom thinks or
talk about looks. They sure the the hell dont obsess over it.
It's just one less thing they have to worry about...

What they do think about are personal hygene, dress for proper occasions or being well groom,
which is a far cry from getting obsess about it or being a snott about it.

All of my daughters are hotties...
They get hitted on all the time by guys...they actaully thinks it's annoying
after a while. They have other things on thier minds or other issues pending.
Yes, they dont have trouble getting dates...ect

Kimi got picked on most of her life becuase of her looks.
She was a pretty little girl and is a pretty young woman.
The mean ass ugly bitches picked on her. Ugly people on the inside and outside.
The fucken haters that hate others cuase they hate themselves and cant accept themselves.

It's like this...
I was in wal mart not to long ago.
Theres was a couple of with a child.
The young woman was in her 20s.
She's over wieght and wears glasses.
Plus she also has sometype of deformity.
Both of her arms were short and stubby.
She only had 3 fingers on each hands.
her husband was a pretty decent looking young man. A lot better looking than I am...
If you cant get a fucken date....I dont know what to tell you.
Well..he's not rich to be shopping at the walmart.lmao
Yes, i was in TX, in a dead end town. So they live a certain life style.lmao

I've experienced both sides of this.

My teens and early twenties I was decent looking. I had all my hair, dark looks. I was confident as well, looking in the mirror, I was really happy with my looks. I never had any dates though. I used to get quite a few comments about how cute I was. If I did get chatted up I was never aware of it.

Now I'm in my early / mid 40's. Most of my hair is gone, I wear glasses. I'm 2 stone heavier. I have a few warts / marks on my face. Looking in the mirror is painfull. If I do get comments it's insults like bald c**t. Nobody says or thinks I'm good looking. Women still aren't interested.

So maybe it isn't my looks. Maybe I come across as miserable ? Or ignorant ? Or arrogant ? Maybe people don't like my personality ?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

K...I'll tell the turth why women talk to me more than my friend.

He's a bit over wieght. His wordrob are a bit dulled and he takes a bath
in calone.lol He still has hair...so he still has that going for him.
He had plenty of gfs when he was younger, though. Thats becuase
he was skinny. he's woredrob were still dulled back then.lol

Even though Im not the greatest looking dude in the world.
Me..Im still skinny. My shoulders brod and my weist is slim.
Im firm. I have good muscel tones. i still have plenty of hair.
My woredrop are more up dated. Even though I wear jeans most
of the time. The jeans cut I chose to wear fits my body pretty
good. They hug my ass more.lol
I can wear t-shirts or a tank top that'll wrap around my body
tighter. Plus I have belts with cool skulls designs or studs.lol
But they're dark...Sometimes I'll wear some sort of wrist band..but dark
Most of the clothe I wear are dark. My shoes are black even if
I wear tennies and not boots. My white tennies are desingers tennies
I go for that mysterious sort of bayboy look. Plus I'll wear my hair somewhat wavy.
with a little of gel in it. I wear little to no caloon. MAybe body spray sometimes.
I always keep my nails clean and trim and Other personal hygene.
WOMEN TAUGHT ME TO DRESS LIKE THAT AND THATS WHAT I LOOK
GOOD IN. WOMEN IN THEIR 20s. I've gone shoping with different women
and somtimes they'll pick out my clothe for me. They know what i look good in.

Bascially they dress me to compliment them..or thats the sort of image
or a guy she likes to be seen with...Dose that make sense?

Verses my mother...will tell me to wear fucken pleted pants, penny loafers,
a neck tie and comb my mother fucken hair.lmao

My friend..he wear loose clothing to try to cover up his wieght.
He still listens to the way his mother wants him to dress.

K...once I'm pass the first 15s sec. of love at first site.hahahaaaaa
Im a bit laid back. And I have this off the fucken wall sense of humor.
I'll manage to say something rather stupid so the women would laugh.
And I'm not too gunshy about pulling the trigger...If she gets close
to me and start touching me...I'll touch her back.lol

Anyhow...when some chicks say looks dosnt matter...well that's them.
For the past serval months of hanging out with my freinds.
The evidents show other wise. We put that theory to the test in the real
world.

K...so some people might say...I'm a little chidish, immature or whatever the fresia.

It's actaully the opposite. Im secure enough about myself to dress younger and act younger.
Im secure enough about myself to hang out with younger women.
If some people dont like it...they can bite me !!!!
Egotistic or self confidence???

K...as far as money gose. This is really harious honeysuckle.
So my friend straight up asked Heather out (you gatta give him credit for having balls)
Heather then looks at me...Im like, dont look at me chick..Im not the ones asking.
She told him "NO". Then my friend accused me of cock blocking him again.lmao

So I kind of had a little chit chat with Heather about finacial situations.
How my life is unstable at the moment and how my friend is a fucken millionair.lmao
We all already know Heather is more attractive to me than my friend.
So i told her..."life is odd like that"
She said "not really"
See...it donst matter what you say to a woman...if she finds you attractive.

My friend is still a little pissy about the Heather ordeal. He dose really likes her.
Anyway...Since I stay at my freinds off and on...He's telling me Sarah can't
come over and play wit me anymore.lmao

A woman is either going to like you or she's not...
All of that chasing her, hitting up on her, telling her lines or trying to be her freind...ect..ect
is just a waste of a guys's time and energy.
So you just gatta know when to walk away and try other women.

Cuase the other night. I went and sat next to a chick and wanna chit chat with her.
She totally blew me off.LMAO
Oh fucken well...its not the end of the world. Life gose one.
There's better looking chicks than her anyways.lol
It wasnt anything personal to me...SHE JUST HAD DIFFERENT FLAVOR IN MEN.
There's wasnt anything wrong with me....Do you know what Im saying????
I didnt internalized it and let the fucken rejection fester in me. I didnt run with it. Get it?

 

[putter65]

K...I'll tell the turth why women talk to me more than my friend.

He's a bit over wieght. His wordrob are a bit dulled and he takes a bath
in calone.lol He still has hair...so he still has that going for him.
He had plenty of gfs when he was younger, though. Thats becuase
he was skinny. he's woredrob were still dulled back then.lol

Even though Im not the greatest looking dude in the world.
Me..Im still skinny. My shoulders brod and my weist is slim.
Im firm. I have good muscel tones. i still have plenty of hair.
My woredrop are more up dated. Even though I wear jeans most
of the time. The jeans cut I chose to wear fits my body pretty
good. They hug my ass more.lol
I can wear t-shirts or a tank top that'll wrap around my body
tighter. Plus I have belts with cool skulls designs or studs.lol
But they're dark...Sometimes I'll wear some sort of wrist band..but dark
Most of the clothe I wear are dark. My shoes are black even if
I wear tennies and not boots. My white tennies are desingers tennies
I go for that mysterious sort of bayboy look. Plus I'll wear my hair somewhat wavy.
with a little of gel in it. I wear little to no caloon. MAybe body spray sometimes.
I always keep my nails clean and trim and Other personal hygene.
WOMEN TAUGHT ME TO DRESS LIKE THAT AND THATS WHAT I LOOK
GOOD IN. WOMEN IN THEIR 20s. I've gone shoping with different women
and somtimes they'll pick out my clothe for me. They know what i look good in.

Bascially they dress me to compliment them..or thats the sort of image
or a guy she likes to be seen with...Dose that make sense?

Verses my mother...will tell me to wear fucken pleted pants, penny loafers,
a neck tie and comb my mother fucken hair.lmao

My friend..he wear loose clothing to try to cover up his wieght.
He still listens to the way his mother wants him to dress.

K...once I'm pass the first 15s sec. of love at first site.hahahaaaaa
Im a bit laid back. And I have this off the fucken wall sense of humor.
I'll manage to say something rather stupid so the women would laugh.
And I'm not too gunshy about pulling the trigger...If she gets close
to me and start touching me...I'll touch her back.lol

Anyhow...when some chicks say looks dosnt matter...well that's them.
For the past serval months of hanging out with my freinds.
The evidents show other wise. We put that theory to the test in the real
world.

losing my hair was the worst thing to happen to me. I have a funny shaped head. Just bad luck I guess. My Dad has all his hair, so do my 2 brothers.

If I have anywhere to go, a night out. I will go out and buy something new to try and look good. I bought this black coat. I thought it looked great. I wore it once.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I know it can be fustrating at times...
But you must keep on putting youself out there.

I know it might sound a bit odd...but I've only dating cucasion
women and Im asian. My taste in women.lol
Not all cucasion chicks are going to like me simply just becuse of my
race or rather looks. Im not examp from getting rejected.

I just know better not to take it personally anymore.
Thats becuase Ive done some of the rejections or broke hearts myself.
Ive learn not to feel guilty about that now too.

I also know women are full of honeysuckle...especailly the ones
that keeps you in the freindzone and tells you looks dosnt matter
cuase she's trying to cheer you up..
But You're like....
Well..*****, if looks donst matter then why in the hell dont you
go out with me???? Im a decent enough person with good qualities to
be your mother fucken freind.LMAO

 

[putter65]

I know it can be fustrating at times...
But you must keep on putting youself out there.

I know it might sound a bit odd...but I've only dating cucasion
women and Im asian. My taste in women.lol
Not all cucasion chicks are going to like me simply just becuse of my
race or rather looks. Im not examp from getting rejected.

I just know better not to take it personally anymore.
Thats becuase Ive done some of the rejections or broke hearts myself.
Ive learn not to feel guilty about that now too.

I also know women are full of honeysuckle...especailly the ones
that keeps you in the freindzone and tells you looks dosnt matter
cuase she's trying to cheer you up..
But You're like....
Well..*****, if looks donst matter then why in the hell dont you
go out with me???? Im a decent enough person with good qualities to
be your mother fucken freind.LMAO

I've seen alot of that friendzone recently lol

my brother said once - you need the thick skin of an elephant - i think he was right !

 

[putter65]

I'm getting fed up of all this female friend crap. What's the point ? I'm not good enough to be boyfriend material ? Having all these ******* coffee's with women I have nothing to say to. It maybe my fault. I'm bullshitting myself. Sort of saying 'look at me, I have female friends. Women don't hate me'

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm getting fed up of all this female friend crap. What's the point ? I'm not good enough to be boyfriend material ? Having all these ******* coffee's with women I have nothing to say to. It maybe my fault. I'm bullshitting myself. Sort of saying 'look at me, I have female friends. Women don't hate me'

Idk whats the piont to a lot of things either.lol
Maybe it's just a phase...IDK.

Dont worry...man.
I know women hates me...even the ones that loves me lots.
Even the love of my life. Even the ones that say they'll love me
forever no matter what

It's really strange sometimes. When I dont give a fresia.
It dosnt hurt anymore. I dont worry so much.
Not that i wanna hang myself or anything like that.

Just gonna do things my way from now on.
Im done trying to make it right and get it right for everybody else.
So I'll Do whatever i wanna do. Go wherever I wanna go.
fresia whomever I wanna fresia. Believe whatever i wanna believe.
If that makes me a shallow selfish basturd...so be it.
People can fucken bite me or go jump off a fucken cliff.

 

[putter65]

I'm getting fed up of all this female friend crap. What's the point ? I'm not good enough to be boyfriend material ? Having all these ******* coffee's with women I have nothing to say to. It maybe my fault. I'm bullshitting myself. Sort of saying 'look at me, I have female friends. Women don't hate me'

Idk whats the piont to a lot of things either.lol
Maybe it's just a phase...IDK.

Dont worry...man.
I know women hates me...even the ones that loves me lots.
Even the love of my life. Even the ones that say they'll love me
forever no matter what

It's really strange sometimes. When I dont give a fresia.
It dosnt hurt anymore. I dont worry so much.
Not that i wanna hang myself or anything like that.

Just gonna do things my way from now on.
Im done trying to make it right and get it right for everybody else.
So I'll Do whatever i wanna do. Go wherever I wanna go.
fresia whomever I wanna fresia. Believe whatever i wanna believe.
If that makes me a shallow selfish basturd...so be it.
People can fucken bite me or go jump off a fucken cliff.

I'm not hurting. I don't really care.

I was at this woman's house last week and her mobile went off. I could hear it was a bloke on the phone. They were talking, nothing smutty but I could tell the way she was talking to him, she treated him with miles more respect than me. When we said goodbye she never even looked at me. She was looking away with her body turned sideways. She's replied to my texts since but not sent me one. I don't think she gives a honeysuckle.

This other one was all over me last week sending texts. I sent her one yesterday and she never replied to it. On her facebook, some guy called her 'my sexual animal' - I'm like 'why do people write things like that on facebook ?' - I don't want to know !

This other one, I don't even like her, She is a racist. I sent her a text and we went back and forth and I said 'we'll have to have a catch up soon' and she wrote back 'yes, sure' - the next day It occured to me that I don't even want to have a catch up with her. She is boring. I was thinking of ways of getting out of it.

A few others never bother with me. Yes they will reply to my messages but that's just politness.

Anyway, up for work in morning so I'll shut up ! lol