What do you do...?

[Guy_In_The_Corner_]

What do you do when you're alone and you feel yourself lapsing back into that state of sadness, when you're just reflecting on past mistakes and negative feelings about yourself?
It happens to me almost all the time at home. I try and get out a lot to distract myself, but I'd like to know any methods that any of you may have used to counteract your negative mindsets.
One I personally use is looking around and picking ten things around me to look at and think about, but this doesn't always help, so anyone who has a suggestion that they use often is welcome to reply.

Also, if anyone would like to chat that would be great.

 

[Wayfarer]

Hmm I have many things I usually try. Basically anything that keeps my mind busy: listening to music, watching movies, playing games, reading, diy work (rarely), cooking, baking, writing, etc.
Sometimes I just come on this website and read posts or post something myself.
If the weather is nice I go for a walk or with bicycle.

Other times instead what I do (and which is probably not the best thing to do) is staying still, doing nothing, and operate directly on my thoughts, trying to suppress them if they are too negative, to be objective about them, to think of something else.

And hey, if everything else fails, one can always sleep

EDIT: feel free to drop me a PM if you want to talk.

 

[Stonely]

OP just remember that you can't do anything to change your past.

You can sit there and cry / complain all you want.

It doesn't change anything.

If you want to change things, think about how you can change your future!

 

[Solitary of the fall]

I'm always trying to be busy otherwise feelings just like yours come back and drown me. It could be anything like watching a series.

 

[JHK]

I drink, usually. Or do drugs. Neither of which is productive.
I read a lot so I try to get lost in a book but sometimes I can't. I used to draw all the time, been sort of thinking of picking that up again but it has a lot of bad memories to it.
My old counsellor told me to write - but my autobiography is rather depressing.
Hiking is fun.
If I'm at one place for awhile I try to find a shelter that needs volunteers to help walk dogs or clean kennels, etc
Old folks home usually always take a helping hand shovelling snow or raking leaves etc

 

[loketron]

I'm still within the first few days of my sadness. Recently tried again with an ex that is very recent and I feel like the grieving process has started all over again. I worked overnight and today when I woke up I had a real bad shaking episode. I twisted in my mind all the things in my past I have done and what I wish I could do to fix them but its pointless to worry I guess. I left. I am who I am and its time to change.

as I type I can see the list in my mind forming of the things needing change. mental health = seek counselling again and reach out to friends, not your ex. physical health = start up walking and slow down on smoking till you can consider quitting. Other than that I need to consider a few things like my job and future (school). I was on my way, I just got side tracked.

What Im trying to say is I do best with my sadness when I control it with my mental check list. In the months after my break up I controlled myself by checking off things in my mind as they happened. if I noticed I was laying around to much I got up and made my bed and cleaned this room. Check. If I was feeling lonely I would try to call someone. check. and so on and so forth.

 

[Veruca]

Indeed, sometimes trying to be grateful for the good things, or having friends or family , or even engaging oneself in enjoyable activities doesn't work. I usually try to go out and meet up with people, but these days, everyone's in a relationship/married and no one seems to be free anymore.

In fact, its harder to meet people and talk when I'm feeling lonely because the conversation seems to just be a constant reminder of my perpetual loneliness. Its about relationships or witnessing my girlfriends getting hit on and feeling like a total loser.

What I've found helpful is firstly to just let it overwhelm me. I'd cry for a while just to get it out and it makes me feel a lot better. And then I try to exercise, or go for a walk, or do yoga. If that doesn't help, I get into workaholic mode. My mind gets so occupied with work that I forget that I'm lonely. Sometimes, just getting out of the house and window shopping or watching movies or just walking around town takes my mind of it (staying at home makes it worse, I feel). Otherwise, I'd spend a day at an animal shelter. Being around dogs and helping them makes me feel better usually.

Perhaps you can try doing some of the above? Alternatively, we're always here at ALL =)

 

[Niantiel]

I usually drink and had a philosophical discussion with my online friends about life and Death. :shy: lol.

 

[Paraiyar]

I saw in your other thread that you're 17. You aren't even at the point where you should be looking back, in fact you're at point now where you just need to focus on the now, it's a far more important time than anything before.

Being 24, I can look back and see this easily.