what is the point anymore

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Blossom2018

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I think it's time for me to change my plan from trying to find love, to giving up. Life is SO FREAKING DRAINING. On top of ALL the pain that life has to give to people, on top of all the bullying, and the self-depreciation, and the lack of empathy, and the emotional pain, it is next to impossible for me to find someone who loves me. I am 18 years old, and I have never held a girl's hand, never been told "I love you", never gotten a kiss, never gone to prom, never gone on a date, never cuddled, nothing. People my age have gone even further, but I am always the little brother and the cute little boy. No one wants to spend time with me. I get that I'm so unconfident that you might feel awkward around me, but for god's sake is it really THAT BAD? I'm just shy!!!! I'm not a bomb!! Jesus Christ.
I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to be loved by someone. I just want to wake up, and when I feel sad, I remember the soft voice of someone telling me she loves me and cares about me in my head, and that will give me the strength to cheer up. I just want to not be all alone every day, and maybe have someone to cuddle with and watch a movie, or talk about our favorite things, or be there for each other in our lowest moments, or just a loving person to hold hands with and hang out, like couples do. I'm not head over heels for sex, I just want LOVE! I'm so dried out living every second of my life in bitterness and lovelorn. I'm tired of seeing the same two girls EVERY DAY because I told them I liked them and they told me they wanted to be friends. I'm tired of struggling through social and public life, seeing happy couples basking in each others' love, holding hands and laughing, going out for a bite to eat, shopping for groceries, going out in the car, and I'm just-- there. crying every single night of my life. waking up and sleeping with a constant reminder that all I'm good for is someone to laugh at and hurt, always alone, always hoping for the hopeless.
If I could just lose my ability to form a crush on anyone, nobody would be able to hurt me anymore. I would be able to live happily, even though I cannot find love to save my life. and then this haunting, gloomy and dark loneliness would finally leave me alone. I want to go away.
I love you now go to school or go get your CDL.
You are 18. You are a baby. You need to get a skilled trade and save up for a house, boat, or whatever you want to live in long term. You could flip houses. Hard work is the cure for the blues. My mom cuts me off most everytime I talk to her. I cry my eyes out but I keep going because the incentive to work is not only a special meal but goals and dreams. Hang in there and get busy.
 

nhk

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I love you now go to school or go get your CDL.
You are 18. You are a baby. You need to get a skilled trade and save up for a house, boat, or whatever you want to live in long term. You could flip houses. Hard work is the cure for the blues. My mom cuts me off most everytime I talk to her. I cry my eyes out but I keep going because the incentive to work is not only a special meal but goals and dreams. Hang in there and get busy.
My mom does the exact same thing, I know how it feels-- It feels so hopeless when the softer and kinder person in your life doesn't live up to their responsibilities, but strong people like you quite literally 'keep on truckin'.
I'm working towards an animation degree and trying to make it into the scene. I'm sure I'll find a light at the end of this long tunnel; and even if I don't, my eyes will adjust to the darkness. It'll all be fine.
Thank you so much, you are a wonderful human being.
 

Blossom2018

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My mom does the exact same thing, I know how it feels-- It feels so hopeless when the softer and kinder person in your life doesn't live up to their responsibilities, but strong people like you quite literally 'keep on truckin'.
I'm working towards an animation degree and trying to make it into the scene. I'm sure I'll find a light at the end of this long tunnel; and even if I don't, my eyes will adjust to the darkness. It'll all be fine.
Thank you so much, you are a wonderful human being.
Thank you.
 

Adamridge79

Mr Bakerman
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A lot of words...18? Oh, you have so many years of disappointment ahead...and..it's going to if you want to quit....at 18.
 

sunflowergirl1306

sunflower lover
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I think it's time for me to change my plan from trying to find love, to giving up. Life is SO FREAKING DRAINING. On top of ALL the pain that life has to give to people, on top of all the bullying, and the self-depreciation, and the lack of empathy, and the emotional pain, it is next to impossible for me to find someone who loves me. I am 18 years old, and I have never held a girl's hand, never been told "I love you", never gotten a kiss, never gone to prom, never gone on a date, never cuddled, nothing. People my age have gone even further, but I am always the little brother and the cute little boy. No one wants to spend time with me. I get that I'm so unconfident that you might feel awkward around me, but for god's sake is it really THAT BAD? I'm just shy!!!! I'm not a bomb!! Jesus Christ.
I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to be loved by someone. I just want to wake up, and when I feel sad, I remember the soft voice of someone telling me she loves me and cares about me in my head, and that will give me the strength to cheer up. I just want to not be all alone every day, and maybe have someone to cuddle with and watch a movie, or talk about our favorite things, or be there for each other in our lowest moments, or just a loving person to hold hands with and hang out, like couples do. I'm not head over heels for sex, I just want LOVE! I'm so dried out living every second of my life in bitterness and lovelorn. I'm tired of seeing the same two girls EVERY DAY because I told them I liked them and they told me they wanted to be friends. I'm tired of struggling through social and public life, seeing happy couples basking in each others' love, holding hands and laughing, going out for a bite to eat, shopping for groceries, going out in the car, and I'm just-- there. crying every single night of my life. waking up and sleeping with a constant reminder that all I'm good for is someone to laugh at and hurt, always alone, always hoping for the hopeless.
If I could just lose my ability to form a crush on anyone, nobody would be able to hurt me anymore. I would be able to live happily, even though I cannot find love to save my life. and then this haunting, gloomy and dark loneliness would finally leave me alone. I want to go away.Im so sorry to hear that,I know exactly how you feel,I feel the same way every single day of my life also,I hate the feeling of being lonely and alone every day,and seeing other people so happy,when I can't even get any guy to like me.
 

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