What is the point of a lonely life?

[london lady]

[No message]

 

[Guest]

i figure lonliness is just a figment of our imagination, we make ourselves lonely. ive recently just decided to give up on people altogetehr, i was lonely and it caused me to reach out, and i did make friends and i did get a girlfriend, sadly she moved away but was supposed to come back months later, i waited and waited, with a month to go she breaks promises she made, i ended it tonight and i dont think it was at all a bad choice, im going back to the way it was when it was simpler and easier and i wont let loneliness creep into my mind. id end life but im actually far far against it, im religious and have my own personal views on suicide, lifes still worth living alone or not.

 

[Guest]

I'm someone who is totally crap at making social masks. The real me shows through and I don't know how to be otherwise, except for just not talking. If I'm unhappy it shows, unstoppably. I really wish I could wear a mask sometimes.

So I can tell you a lot of people reject the real me. However a few don't, and those few people are my friends. Few. Also I had a good relationship for 3 years that I couldn't have had if I was closed.

Some people can sense if you're wearing a mask and so aren't interesting in talking to a mask. It's risky to open up to people, but it's better than being lonely.

I've been told that if I be myself, everyone will like me. Well it's not true, but if I'm not myself, I don't think anyone would like me.

Also I'm very not religious, but I do believe there is value in existence.

Dunno if that helps, I'll look back here later.

 

[armywife]

 

[Test]

The point of a lonely life is to see how well you can get trough it, I guess...

 

[Guest]

[No message]

 

[paula4u]

There is no point, but you could turn and make it a point? Im in Wales and yes lonely for various reasons.. I cant change my life so I look forward to the future, Lady in London just message me ok? I have always time to make new friends.. its a start isnot it?

 

[Guest]

I can handle a stressful life.
I can handle a tough life.
I can handle a life with unkown meaning and seeming lack of purpose.
What I am having a very hard time handling is a lonely life.
Being lonely is the ultimate curse, worse than physical pain.
Money can't fix it.
Time only makes it worse.
The side effect of lonliness is often depression and the lowering of your self esteem. Both of which do NOTHING but help perpetuate your state of lonliness!
I wish I had some perfect answer on how to not be lonely, but I don't.
What I have started doing is the following:
First, I remind myself, that the terrible feelings and thoughts I have when being lonely, far outweigh any embarrassment or socially uncomfortable feeling I might have, while trying to eliminate my lonliness.
Its far easier to face being shot down by a pretty woman / girl, than it is to face the thought of continuing to be lonely for the rest of my life.
I try to talk to at least one new woman each day, and more often than not, it turns out to be a positive experience. It gets easier each time I do it. One important thing to remember is, when you approach someone is to not think of them as a prospective date, but just someone to talk to. That way there is no added pressure, and it allows you to just be yourself.
You may have to meet 50 new people before you find someone who is single, who likes you, and feel comfortable enough to give you their number, or who wants yours.
So, far out of about 10 woman I have approached, I have gotten 1 phone number, been asked for my phone number once, and have only been outright shutdown only once. The others turned out to be just nice conversations.
You are in control, (to a certain extent), of how lonely you are.
But, you are in complete control, of how you address being lonely.
You can let it perpetuate, and deepen.
Or you can fight it like your worst enemy.
I chose the latter.
Good luck.

 

[Guest]

I miss you all... [email protected]

 

[Guest]

I am considered Old. at 64. I am heading toward 65. Does anyone have information on a US Miltitary retired person varsa medcare. I don,t know which progarm I should choose.

 

[paula4u]

Wow 64 or even 65 is not old at all... GROW UP YOU HAVE AT LEAST 15 YEARS LEFT WE HOPE! As for varsa medicare keep on googling, it normally takes about 5 phonecalls to find a person you are looking for.. I've tried it and it works.. trouble is when you find them you may not like them LOL Success with your search.

 

[Guest]

You know, I spent years feeling lonely because I never felt liked and it wasn't until I was stripped of everything - money, home, job, boyfriend, car, family, did I learn that the only person I had to start liking was myself. And hell it wasn't easy, I still struggle, but once you are comfortable with you, then others will feel comfortable with you and then you will cease to feel lonely. I feel sorry for people who think you have to be in a relationship to not feel lonely. Believe me you can still be lonely, you just look okay from the outside. So i guess you have to ask yourself, which is it? How I feel or what other people think??

 

[Guest]

I am a 57 year old woman with lots of life to live, but I do feel tremendous lonelyness. I am fine during the week working and taking care of business, but on the weekend endless hours of nothing. I have hobbies, but does not fill the void of having people to laugh with and talk to. It is becoming more and more difficult to meet people that I have things in common with.

 

[paula4u]

Oh yes you have to learn to like yourself before others may like you, perhaps more important, you must be able to respect yourself.. start there and new friends will at least know that you have limits like anyone else. To the 57 yr old female quest, well if you register at least its a start of trying to make friends and that is for anyone, what good is it moaning on a webpage when there are people out there that are on these forums that you could talk to? Afterall what have you got to loose? The majority of us on the internet have mobile phones, you can always txt once in a while? To new found friends? But try to link first..

 

[Guest]

I wonder what the point of a non-lonely life is supposed to be, anyway.

 

[Ntre]

I identify with you a lot London Lady. I'm from London myself, got maybe one 'friend', but it's superficial. Other than that, nothing.

 

[Guest]

I can handle a stressful life.
I can handle a tough life.
I can handle a life with unkown meaning and seeming lack of purpose.
What I am having a very hard time handling is a lonely life.
Being lonely is the ultimate curse, worse than physical pain.
Money can't fix it.
Time only makes it worse.
The side effect of lonliness is often depression and the lowering of your self esteem. Both of which do NOTHING but help perpetuate your state of lonliness!
I wish I had some perfect answer on how to not be lonely, but I don't.
What I have started doing is the following:
First, I remind myself, that the terrible feelings and thoughts I have when being lonely, far outweigh any embarrassment or socially uncomfortable feeling I might have, while trying to eliminate my lonliness.
Its far easier to face being shot down by a pretty woman / girl, than it is to face the thought of continuing to be lonely for the rest of my life.
I try to talk to at least one new woman each day, and more often than not, it turns out to be a positive experience. It gets easier each time I do it. One important thing to remember is, when you approach someone is to not think of them as a prospective date, but just someone to talk to. That way there is no added pressure, and it allows you to just be yourself.
You may have to meet 50 new people before you find someone who is single, who likes you, and feel comfortable enough to give you their number, or who wants yours.
So, far out of about 10 woman I have approached, I have gotten 1 phone number, been asked for my phone number once, and have only been outright shutdown only once. The others turned out to be just nice conversations.
You are in control, (to a certain extent), of how lonely you are.
But, you are in complete control, of how you address being lonely.
You can let it perpetuate, and deepen.
Or you can fight it like your worst enemy.
I chose the latter.
Good luck.

that was truly inspiring. thank you

 

[Guest]

London Lady, I am a london lady too and there's something about a massive city with non-stop buzz and a world that seems so very un-lonely outside your window that makes your loneliness so much more acute right? I have a nice big shield too, hiding the real me. I'm that girl everyone knows (or thinks they do) bubbly and confident-"Oh, her? Yeah she's fun!" Except it's all fake-look beneath the surface and I am insecure, lonely and scared of appearing weak. Scared of being used and abused because I've seen it so many times and have the mentality that I will never be that kind of woman. And I'm not...no one uses or abuses me, but no one loves or adores me. What is the point of a lonely life? It's safe, risk-free, if it's just me alone then no-one can hurt me BUT if it's just me no one can love me- and I just wanna be loved.

But you're right, people are so closed off-already set in their circles and relunctant to let new people in. My only advice is to keep trying, you can never suceed if you don't try-as another said: fight loneliness like it's your own worst enemy!

 

[vida]

Sorry ...

 

[vida]

Sorry ...