When did you realize that your life wasn't on track?

[cicerolion]

It was hard for me to settle on how to phrase this question. I went with "when did you realize your life wasn't on track?", but I could have gone "when did you start to fall behind", or "when did life start to leave you out?".

Perhaps my own story will clear up what I'm asking. I always knew I wasn't going to fit in easily. Early on, that was made clear the usual way. I was frequently the last chosen for teams in school. I was usually the kid who had to be placed in a group by the teacher for projects. If there weren't empty seats, I knew finding a spot on the bus was going to be complicated. But, I didn't really feel left out of anything. When puberty started the tone of this changed. I was the only one of my friends who was completely ignored by girls. I wasn't just unpopular, I was completely disregarded. That was when I realized that life wasn't going to happen for me, the way it was going to happen for most of the people around me. You can go down the laundry list of firsts for most teenagers. Beside getting my drivers license, I probably couldn't check anything on that list.

I'm 20 now. I haven't made any friends in my first two years in college. I've never dated or had sex. Even though my academics are good, its hard for me to keep professors from discounting me from opportunities. I'm not hopeless, but I realize that the way life will work for me is different.

I'm interested to know when the other people here first realized this about themselves. (I'm assuming that its a common thing for the chronically lonely)

 

[Hearmenow2012]

For a number of years I have not known what I've wanted to do with my life, however there were slight changes that made me think that things were going to go right for me only for them to go wrong again. I have never been popular, but I have been a few women over the years somehow, however none of the relationship lasted or were very serious (they were also few and far between). When I was at college I felt like I had some acquaintances, however I was never really close to any of them outside of college and there have been times throughout my life that I have said and done stupid things which hasn't helped (it usually happened when I just wanted to be accepted).

I haven't been in a relationship for five years or even close to anything resembling one, I've haven't really made anymore close friends, I'm 21 and I'm also a virgin. It doesn't really bother me that much that I am a virgin because I'm still young (I know that has been said too often but it is true and besides I'd rather wait for the right woman anyway).

I hope that everything works out for you and that my post helps in some way.

 

[Sci-Fi]

About three years ago but it really hit me a couple of years ago. I realized how alone I am out here. My advice to you guys is to work hard to change your lives, you're in your early twenties. I really wish I could go back 17 years and do something different early on. That is the time to do it, early on and get your life on track before it becomes a repetitive cycle.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I dont even think I've found the track.....

Yet.

 

[LoneKiller]

I'd have to say it was when I was in my 2nd year of high school. I completely ignored all sense of responsibility and had zero direction. I just had no idea where I wanted to go in life.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Track? All this time I've been at the wrong place waiting for my ship to come in....

....Taxi- quick, take me to the train station!

 

[EveWasFramed]

Track? All this time I've been at the wrong place waiting for my ship to come in....

....Taxi- quick, take me to the train station!

LMAO!!!!

 

[Sci-Fi]

I'd have to say it was when I was in my 2nd year of high school. I completely ignored all sense of responsibility and had zero direction. I just had no idea where I wanted to go in life.

I don't think many do. It's hard to know where it is you want to go, not like in the "old days" as my mom puts it. Back in her day you were out in the world at an early age and had to know what you were going to do. Even back when we would have been in high school, at least mine, they didn't worry about putting pressure on you to make a career decision until you were in your graduating year.

 

[LoneKiller]

I'd have to say it was when I was in my 2nd year of high school. I completely ignored all sense of responsibility and had zero direction. I just had no idea where I wanted to go in life.

I don't think many do. It's hard to know where it is you want to go, not like in the "old days" as my mom puts it. Back in her day you were out in the world at an early age and had to know what you were going to do. Even back when we would have been in high school, at least mine, they didn't worry about putting pressure on you to make a career decision until you were in your graduating year.

I honestly think that your mother and mine too, were from a much more disciplined kind of generation.

 

[Mike413]

I hate to judge myself but I suppose I was six years old. I had trouble making friends and didn't fit in at school. My life has kind of sucked ever since.

 

[Blush]

Freshman year of high school, second semester.

 

[blackdot]

I would say it would have been in kindergarten when I was 4 years old.
In pre-school I was already falling behind but didn't realize it at that time.

 

[jayme89]

I hate to judge myself but I suppose I was six years old. I had trouble making friends and didn't fit in at school. My life has kind of sucked ever since.

Dido!

 

[perfanoff]

On track with normality? Somewhere around 8th-9th grade - I was pretty social and open to people back then I witnessed/experienced a couple of things that were life-changing. I realized how small and fickle people are... in everything.

I stopped participating in many social circles because, you know.

I'm happy I was able to skip a lot of the ridiculous stuff kids do at that age.

 

[duff]

It was hard for me to settle on how to phrase this question. I went with "when did you realize your life wasn't on track?", but I could have gone "when did you start to fall behind", or "when did life start to leave you out?".

Perhaps my own story will clear up what I'm asking. I always knew I wasn't going to fit in easily. Early on, that was made clear the usual way. I was frequently the last chosen for teams in school. I was usually the kid who had to be placed in a group by the teacher for projects. If there weren't empty seats, I knew finding a spot on the bus was going to be complicated. But, I didn't really feel left out of anything. When puberty started the tone of this changed. I was the only one of my friends who was completely ignored by girls. I wasn't just unpopular, I was completely disregarded. That was when I realized that life wasn't going to happen for me, the way it was going to happen for most of the people around me. You can go down the laundry list of firsts for most teenagers. Beside getting my drivers license, I probably couldn't check anything on that list.

I'm 20 now. I haven't made any friends in my first two years in college. I've never dated or had sex. Even though my academics are good, its hard for me to keep professors from discounting me from opportunities. I'm not hopeless, but I realize that the way life will work for me is different.

I'm interested to know when the other people here first realized this about themselves. (I'm assuming that its a common thing for the chronically lonely)

when I was 18. I left school and couldn't get a job. Didn't have any friends, women either ignored me or laughed at me. By the time I was 21 I knew everything would be hard work. Even applying for computer courses I never got selected. Nothing was easy for me and people hated me on sight !

 

[Baka]

It was hard for me to settle on how to phrase this question. I went with "when did you realize your life wasn't on track?", but I could have gone "when did you start to fall behind", or "when did life start to leave you out?".

It has become really apparent during the last 2 years. Don't get me wrong, my school days sucked for the most part as well, but I was still hanging in there with a few friends and good times. The same applied to my early years at Varsity, but then things started to change really fast. I think it was because everyone around me started to change & go into the "normal" direction of life, i.e. relationships, more friends, super careers, and lately marriage & kids.

If you don't want a long term relationship, marriage & kids, then it's quite difficult to get close to women, unless you're some kind of player or model-looking mofo. I also lost touch with a lot of my friends, because they started to hang out with other couples. Nowadays it seems that every event that I'm invited to has some sort of +1 requirement. I hate that! :club:

Anyway, good luck & keep trying. Believe me, the moment you stop, then time really starts to get away from you & you become used to your situation.

 

[Among the Sleep]

I feel for you brother.

The weird thing is, I was an extremely outgoing and happy-go-lucky kid up until the age of about 14. I'm not sure what changed...I actually think just the new social environment of high school made me uncomfortable, plus all the pressures of getting laid and honeysuckle like that, and it made me more reserved...I just kept tumbling downhill for a while, until one day when I was 16 I finally realized "Holy honeysuckle, I am REALLY depressed". I guess I was for a while, but I actually vividly remember the day it really sunk in.

I'm 23 now. I haven't dated or gotten laid either. I have friends, that's never been a problem, so I have to be grateful for that cause I know there are people on here that literally don't have friends in real life. At probably my worst time of self esteem when I was 18 I lived at a tech school for a semester and didn't make a single friend...just stayed in my dorm and ate dinner in the cafe by myself like a creep. So I can relate even though I've always had friends, that was an awful and depressing social experience.

I'm slowly improving, I think. But slowly is the key word. I don't know what the future holds. Truth be told I'm not that optimistic. I regret being depressed all these years because I feel like I side-stepped what's supposed to be the best part of my life. Maybe I'll peak later, maybe I'm a late bloomer...I can only hope...

 

[ladyforsaken]

...when my dad passed away. Then I think I found my own track.. and kinda got burned. Now I'm on a better track, I suppose.

 

[duff]

it took me until I was 31 to give up on women. I kept trying. I was a fool. 10 years later I tried again for 18 months, nothing but misery ! Awful time !
Now I've give up again. Possibly for good !

 

[Moe'sTavern]

After 3rd grade. I became more withdrawn and alot less social. At this point, I really have no one to hang with, and pretty much resign myself to internet forums and tv shows.