cicerolion
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- Joined
- Apr 9, 2013
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It was hard for me to settle on how to phrase this question. I went with "when did you realize your life wasn't on track?", but I could have gone "when did you start to fall behind", or "when did life start to leave you out?".
Perhaps my own story will clear up what I'm asking. I always knew I wasn't going to fit in easily. Early on, that was made clear the usual way. I was frequently the last chosen for teams in school. I was usually the kid who had to be placed in a group by the teacher for projects. If there weren't empty seats, I knew finding a spot on the bus was going to be complicated. But, I didn't really feel left out of anything. When puberty started the tone of this changed. I was the only one of my friends who was completely ignored by girls. I wasn't just unpopular, I was completely disregarded. That was when I realized that life wasn't going to happen for me, the way it was going to happen for most of the people around me. You can go down the laundry list of firsts for most teenagers. Beside getting my drivers license, I probably couldn't check anything on that list.
I'm 20 now. I haven't made any friends in my first two years in college. I've never dated or had sex. Even though my academics are good, its hard for me to keep professors from discounting me from opportunities. I'm not hopeless, but I realize that the way life will work for me is different.
I'm interested to know when the other people here first realized this about themselves. (I'm assuming that its a common thing for the chronically lonely)
Perhaps my own story will clear up what I'm asking. I always knew I wasn't going to fit in easily. Early on, that was made clear the usual way. I was frequently the last chosen for teams in school. I was usually the kid who had to be placed in a group by the teacher for projects. If there weren't empty seats, I knew finding a spot on the bus was going to be complicated. But, I didn't really feel left out of anything. When puberty started the tone of this changed. I was the only one of my friends who was completely ignored by girls. I wasn't just unpopular, I was completely disregarded. That was when I realized that life wasn't going to happen for me, the way it was going to happen for most of the people around me. You can go down the laundry list of firsts for most teenagers. Beside getting my drivers license, I probably couldn't check anything on that list.
I'm 20 now. I haven't made any friends in my first two years in college. I've never dated or had sex. Even though my academics are good, its hard for me to keep professors from discounting me from opportunities. I'm not hopeless, but I realize that the way life will work for me is different.
I'm interested to know when the other people here first realized this about themselves. (I'm assuming that its a common thing for the chronically lonely)