Which is worse ?

[putter65]

No relationships or bad relationships ?

Most of my adult life nothing much as happened. In the last 18 months I have had 2 bad relationships / experiences with women.

Now I am back to normal (eg single), I wondering which was better. I suppose I gained some dating experience.

 

[Callie]

I think they are both pretty much equal, honestly.

With bad relationships, you have someone, but is it really worth being in one if it's bad?
With no relationship, you are alone, but if your life isn't want you want it to be, you only have yourself to blame...

 

[Okiedokes]

Good question. I almost want to say bad relationships and when I say bad.. I mean bad. Not just arguements.

 

[whispers]

I'd rather be alone than in a bad relationship. In a bad relationship , there is issues like abuse, beeing put down, feeling trapped, you bend over backwards to try and please, but nothing is ever good enough, (ok, thats my issues). Beeing alone is hard, but at least i have the freedom to make it better and dont have someone constantly trying to stop me from beeing myself.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

if youre a true believer.....A bad relationship in stereo is better.
This way you get up everyday and pray...
GOD FUcken Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Its also a testimate of how much i can love someone.
The amount of bullshit i can with stand.

Plus I'll really know if im crazy or not.lmao
Which I know I am not...it's amazing how twisted the honeysuckle
can really get. Yet my mind is capiable of navigating through
some really twisted maze or puzzle.
Its also amazing to experince how my brain can heal itself.

You gatta at least experince anger sex a couple
dozen times in your life....
yeap women do that. They piss you way way the fresia off so you'll
fresia the living honeysuckle out of them.
And of course the break up sex for a year.hahaaa

It gets all messed up with the dramma and trauma...

The screaming!!!
The decieving!!!
The BLEEDING was tearing me apart.
AGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
As wickage as you are, youre beautiful to me.
Youre the darkest burning star, youre my perfect DIS EASE. lol

If you servive that honeysuckle....
Youll also know what its like to really really love yourself.
You wouldnt had taken the time otherwise to soul serach or do so much self love if you havnt gone
through such a living hell.
You'll learn how to appriciate life for everything in it and what it's worth.
THERES A REASON FOR EVERYTHING.

And of course....the unconditional love.
Can you forgive someone and still love them after they hurted you so god **** much.

 

[Sterling]

Bad relationship is worse than no relationship. Basically a no-brainer there.

 

[Callie]

Bad relationship is worse than no relationship. Basically a no-brainer there.

That would depend on what the OP means by "bad." Yes, if there's abuse of any kind, then it would be better to be alone. However, if it's bad because you're just not into it....
Also, depending on the type of abuse...if it's emotional abuse, being alone could be just as bad as staying in the relationship because you will feel like you are worthless and you won't ever have anyone that will love you for who you are, like you just lost the only chance you will ever have.
In the relationship, you have someone, yes they may put you down, but after a while, the emotional abuse will have you feeling like that person is the only one that will ever love you, ever want you. So if you walk away from that, it's almost like you're giving up everything.

So, I guess my point is that while (in a CLEAR mind) it is common sense that no relationship would be better than a bad relationship...minds aren't always that clear.

 

[putter65]

Bad relationship is worse than no relationship. Basically a no-brainer there.

That would depend on what the OP means by "bad." Yes, if there's abuse of any kind, then it would be better to be alone. However, if it's bad because you're just not into it....
Also, depending on the type of abuse...if it's emotional abuse, being alone could be just as bad as staying in the relationship because you will feel like you are worthless and you won't ever have anyone that will love you for who you are, like you just lost the only chance you will ever have.
In the relationship, you have someone, yes they may put you down, but after a while, the emotional abuse will have you feeling like that person is the only one that will ever love you, ever want you. So if you walk away from that, it's almost like you're giving up everything.

So, I guess my point is that while (in a CLEAR mind) it is common sense that no relationship would be better than a bad relationship...minds aren't always that clear.

Bad as in a woman treating me like utter honeysuckle, snapping my head off every few minutes, constant lying, talking to me like I am a worthless nobody.

Makes me sad that I wait years to have a relationship and it turns out like it did.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Single is better.

If you're single you can at least be at peace with your thoughts and think of a way to improve your future.

If you stay in a bad relationship it's like a faulty crutch that you can't do without. That in turn begins to erode your happiness and confidence over time.

EDIT -

Bad as in a woman treating me like utter honeysuckle, snapping my head off every few minutes, constant lying, talking to me like I am a worthless nobody.

Makes me sad that I wait years to have a relationship and it turns out like it did.

Was it even a relationship though, Putter? That's what you have to ask yourself.

In my mind, in a relationship you enjoy sharing conversations with each other, treat each other with mutual respect, regularly share some kind of physical intimacy (even if it's kissing and nothing more) and no one person is making more or less effort than the other.

In your case, from what you posted, it was just a selfish ***** making you do stuff for her in return for staving off your loneliness a little bit.

I'd say you can put it in the past as a bad experience and realise (and this is the important bit) that you don't actually have a relationship until the other person treats you like a human being

 

[putter65]

Single is better.

If you're single you can at least be at peace with your thoughts and think of a way to improve your future.

If you stay in a bad relationship it's like a faulty crutch that you can't do without. That in turn begins to erode your happiness and confidence over time.

EDIT -

Bad as in a woman treating me like utter honeysuckle, snapping my head off every few minutes, constant lying, talking to me like I am a worthless nobody.

Makes me sad that I wait years to have a relationship and it turns out like it did.

Was it even a relationship though, Putter? That's what you have to ask yourself.

In my mind, in a relationship you enjoy sharing conversations with each other, treat each other with mutual respect, regularly share some kind of physical intimacy (even if it's kissing and nothing more) and no one person is making more or less effort than the other.

In your case, from what you posted, it was just a selfish ***** making you do stuff for her in return for staving off your loneliness a little bit.

I'd say you can put it in the past as a bad experience and realise (and this is the important bit) that you don't actually have a relationship until the other person treats you like a human being

I think your right in what you say.

I'm feeling okay at the moment. I'm not unhappy, glad I've come to my senses. I don't think it has done me any long term damage.

Thanks

 

[Callie]

Single is better.

If you're single you can at least be at peace with your thoughts and think of a way to improve your future.

If you stay in a bad relationship it's like a faulty crutch that you can't do without. That in turn begins to erode your happiness and confidence over time.

Even if you don't stay in the relationship, if the abuse was really bad or it went on for a while, it can still be used as a crutch. It will make you doubt yourself at every turn, make you wonder why you weren't good enough.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

k....but some single stay single.
they mental, emotionally abd physically
mutilate themselves.
they wonder why theyre not good enough to
be in a relationship or many other things.
They dont think ckearly.

they dont really love themselves either

---

if otgers abuse you....at keat youre awear
its not you.

When you abuse yourself....thats really
really living in denial.

 

[putter65]

k....but some single stay single.
they mental, emotionally abd physically
mutilate themselves.
they wonder why theyre not good enough to
be in a relationship or many other things.
They dont think ckearly.

they dont really love themselves either

---

if otgers abuse you....at keat youre awear
its not you.

When you abuse yourself....thats really
really living in denial.

---

So in the long run this bad relationship / friendship will have done me good ?

At least I went thru it rather than doing nothing.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I dont know what is right or wrong for you Putter.

I can only speak from my own experince.
My experince is simply that...mine.
It's not better or worst.

I've been in relationships all my life. Good times and bad times.
People walked out on me. Ive walked out others.
Ive been in messed up toxic over the top to the extreem worst of the bad relationship.
At the sametime ive also experinced a healthy relationship for years and years
before that relationship morph or warped into a bad one.

Ive walked away from very beautiful nice kind loving women that
wanted me and seemed like the ideal partner but who knows how that was going to turn out like either.

I longest Ive gone being single without actaully chasing
women or wanting to be in a relationship is probably 5-6 months tops.

I took advise or suggestions of not being in one for a while.
Will..it kind of worked against me just the same after a couple of months.
I ened up going through those self defeating behaviors myself just the same.

Its not as if...when i get involve with someone and make a commitment
that I tell myself...Gizzzz this one is going to be bad...lets go with her.
I weight out things a lot...the pros and cons. Her good qualities and bad.
As much as I think and over annylize everything. FFS.

 

[putter65]

I dont know what is right or wrong for you Putter.

I can only speak from my own experince.
My experince is simply that...mine.
It's not better or worst.

I've been in relationships all my life. Good times and bad times.
People walked out on me. Ive walked out others.
Ive been in messed up toxic over the top to the extreem worst of the bad relationship.
At the sametime ive also experinced a healthy relationship for years and years
before that relationship morph or warped into a bad one.

Ive walked away from very beautiful nice kind loving women that
wanted me and seemed like the ideal partner but who knows how that was going to turn out like either.

I longest Ive gone being single without actaully chasing
women or wanting to be in a relationship is probably 5-6 months tops.

I took advise or suggestions of not being in one for a while.
Will..it kind of worked against me just the same after a couple of months.
I ened up going through those self defeating behaviors myself just the same.

Its not as if...when i get involve with someone and make a commitment
that I tell myself...Gizzzz this one is going to be bad...lets go with her.
I weight out things a lot...the pros and cons. Her good qualities and bad.
As much as I think and over annylize everything. FFS.

It's not put me off women.

Definately put me off womwn like her though. If I had my time again I would have walked after the second date.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I dont know what is right or wrong for you Putter.

I can only speak from my own experince.
My experince is simply that...mine.
It's not better or worst.

I've been in relationships all my life. Good times and bad times.
People walked out on me. Ive walked out others.
Ive been in messed up toxic over the top to the extreem worst of the bad relationship.
At the sametime ive also experinced a healthy relationship for years and years
before that relationship morph or warped into a bad one.

Ive walked away from very beautiful nice kind loving women that
wanted me and seemed like the ideal partner but who knows how that was going to turn out like either.

I longest Ive gone being single without actaully chasing
women or wanting to be in a relationship is probably 5-6 months tops.

I took advise or suggestions of not being in one for a while.
Will..it kind of worked against me just the same after a couple of months.
I ened up going through those self defeating behaviors myself just the same.

Its not as if...when i get involve with someone and make a commitment
that I tell myself...Gizzzz this one is going to be bad...lets go with her.
I weight out things a lot...the pros and cons. Her good qualities and bad.
As much as I think and over annylize everything. FFS.

It's not put me off women.

Definately put me off womwn like her though. If I had my time again I would have walked after the second date.

If you're still wanting or looking for a partner.
Then get back on the saddle. You have a better understanding
of what you want and dont wanna put up with.
Dating can be like a fucken choir sometimes. Sometimes
it'll leave a bad taste in your mouth. Sometimes you'll get
burn out. Women have the upper hand. They decide
whom they wanna fresia...that's all there is to it.

Think about it...Sexually, you're going to be on top of her
and pouncing on her or she's gonna be give you a blow job.
Women gets pretty god **** pickey whom they're going to
get down on thier knees for. Your freaken sweat and cum
in her or all over her. It's the same **** reasons why you
like that younger chick.

It's worst than putting in jobs applications and going for jobs
interviews sometimes.
Like i said before...you want all that honeysuckle right out of the gate.

With the taste of the types of women you like.
Well...if you were young, a honk and have grips of money.
You'll probalby have to fucken fight them off of ya.
But If youre older, not fit and the ends barley meets
You're either going to have to open up your options.
Work out to get firm and fit to look more sexy.
Make more fucken money
Or alter your taste in women

The other alternative...i guess, is to be a mother fucken monk.
Find peace and solitude by yourself.

 

[Sci-Fi]

This is an all ages site, lets keep things a little more appropriate and the stuff that's not to the more adult oriented threads.

Thanks.

 

[putter65]

I dont know what is right or wrong for you Putter.

I can only speak from my own experince.
My experince is simply that...mine.
It's not better or worst.

I've been in relationships all my life. Good times and bad times.
People walked out on me. Ive walked out others.
Ive been in messed up toxic over the top to the extreem worst of the bad relationship.
At the sametime ive also experinced a healthy relationship for years and years
before that relationship morph or warped into a bad one.

Ive walked away from very beautiful nice kind loving women that
wanted me and seemed like the ideal partner but who knows how that was going to turn out like either.

I longest Ive gone being single without actaully chasing
women or wanting to be in a relationship is probably 5-6 months tops.

I took advise or suggestions of not being in one for a while.
Will..it kind of worked against me just the same after a couple of months.
I ened up going through those self defeating behaviors myself just the same.

Its not as if...when i get involve with someone and make a commitment
that I tell myself...Gizzzz this one is going to be bad...lets go with her.
I weight out things a lot...the pros and cons. Her good qualities and bad.
As much as I think and over annylize everything. FFS.

It's not put me off women.

Definately put me off womwn like her though. If I had my time again I would have walked after the second date.

If you're still wanting or looking for a partner.
Then get back on the saddle. You have a better understanding
of what you want and dont wanna put up with.
Dating can be like a fucken choir sometimes. Sometimes
it'll leave a bad taste in your mouth. Sometimes you'll get
burn out. Women have the upper hand. They decide
whom they wanna fresia...that's all there is to it.

Think about it...Sexually, you're going to be on top of her
and pouncing on her or she's gonna be give you a blow job.
Women gets pretty god **** pickey whom they're going to
get down on thier knees for. Your freaken sweat and cum
in her or all over her. It's the same **** reasons why you
like that younger chick.

It's worst than putting in jobs applications and going for jobs
interviews sometimes.
Like i said before...you want all that honeysuckle right out of the gate.

With the taste of the types of women you like.
Well...if you were young, a honk and have grips of money.
You'll probalby have to fucken fight them off of ya.
But If youre older, not fit and the ends barley meets
You're either going to have to open up your options.
Work out to get firm and fit to look more sexy.
Make more fucken money
Or alter your taste in women

The other alternative...i guess, is to be a mother fucken monk.
Find peace and solitude by yourself.

I like all kinds of women. My tastes are varied, not just a pretty face or a nice arse.

Upto 18 months ago I never had the courage to ask a woman out. I am better now. I can ask somebody and forget about it soon after.

I have alot of money. But I am not into flash clothes or anything like that.

I'm not a social person, just like keeping myself to myself. Unless when I'm working when I turn into this 'never stops talking shop worker' type. I think when I'm working I have my uniform on so I stand out. Away from work, if I walked into a pub, people wouldn't notice me so much.

 

[slaan]

I must say, a lot has been said apparently on this thread. I did not go through it all, yet I will still give you my opinion.
Bad relationship is better in my opinion. See, life is made to make mistakes to learn from, if you don't make mistakes sure you are fine, but you learn nothing. Staying alone in your corner is just useless, at least in a bad relationship things happen.
Just don't let a bad relationship keep you from finding a better one.

(obviously its all relative, if you are dating an abusive person, or someone that is dangerous for you you are better off alone, obviously)

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

So in the long run this bad relationship / friendship will have done me good ?

At least I went thru it rather than doing nothing.

If it's made you realise that you deserve someone who gives you equal respect, that's great