Whis is better?

[LonelyInAtl]

So which is better? No response from a message on a dating site, or one that says they're not interested because you're not attractive?

I think I'd prefer the silence. While it doesn't boost your ego at least it doesn't beat you up.

:club:

 

[Montreal Skye]

I'm a need to know type. I think I'd rather someone be 100% honest with me rather than me wondering why the brush off. I feel worse with the silence because I let my imagination get the better of me, thinking of every type of negative scenario I can.

 

[kamya]

I'd rather know why.

 

[Barbaloot]

I'd rather get no reply, or for them to leave the bit about them finding me unattractive out.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I wouldn't care... I mean, either way, they just aren't interested. Knowing the reason probably wouldn't change it.

 

[Tiina63]

The silence would be better than being told I am not attractive enough.

 

[Okiedokes]

No reply at all would be better. I think it would be kinda rude for someone to say the word unattractive, cause there are other ways to say you aren't interested.

 

[sth]

I would prefer to get a "not interested in you" reply. Without the "because you're unattractive" part. But then again I'm not even a member of any dating site, so this is not something that I have to deal with.

But in general I like straight, honest approach.

 

[Gutted]

In this case I'd not know. The truth wouldn't do me any good so I don't see why I'd need to know it.

 

[Drew88]

On a dating site? I rather get a "I'll pass" or a "I would no longer to continue this conversation" message, it would make me alot less itchy.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Best to know the truth, rather than wondering what you did wrong.

 

[sadface]

I'd rather know. This probably just means you're not picking the right pictures of yourself to post - sometimes we are very biased when it comes to knowing when we look good. I thought my match.com pictures looked GREAT until my friend told me I needed to switch them out. (She turned out to be right.)

 

[roguewave]

I would prefer a reply, even if it was mean.

 

[9006]

Deffo the '...get a "not interested because you're unattractive" reply*'.

At least you'll know the reason, an who cares? Cause not everyone finds everyone else attractive!

 

[perfanoff]

I love communication but in this particular case I would prefer no reply. It wastes time.

 

[putter65]

I love communication but in this particular case I would prefer no reply. It wastes time.

I've only had one reply and she said I wasn't her type. We weren't right for each other. fresia knows what that meant ?

 

[perfanoff]

Probably exactly that. She is not looking for a guy like you, she has another specific type of guys that she goes for.

 

[TurboShepherd]

In order to keep my own imagination from getting the better of me, I'd prefer to know for the sole reason that I'd need a laugh and the ability to tell myself "This only means that he/she wasn't worth the trouble."

 

[Naleena]

bump

 

[msbxa]

Those are both things that are hard to take. But given the choice between the two, even though it may hurt at the time, I'd rather hear the reason than no reason at all.

If there is no reply at all, I feel like its actually a more negative thing.
It tells me that I am so bad that I'm not even worth a few seconds of time to even acknowledge. Not only that. When there is nothing I feel left stranded, wondering if it was something I said, some conflict of interests, the way I look, that I didn't smile, if I'm not successful enough or confident, ect. It drives me mad, and actually hurts me in the long run more. As a result I'm left with confusion, bitterness, hatred, among other things.

If you are told the reason it don't have be put in a harsh way. But even if it is, at least you will know the reason, you get closure, and know where you stand.
If its your looks then you can try to improve. And yes you can improve your looks somewhat.