Who Walks Away Most?

[fortasse]

Interesting note that I gathered from a few articles on Google: men tend to suffer more emotionally after a divorce than women, even though men tend to do better financially.

So perhaps one reason women divorce more is because they are better at surviving alone after a divorce than men. After all, men are just grown-up babies that need to be mothered by their wives. (that was a joke... kinda)

I also read that women divorce for "irreconcilable differences, adultery, spousal abuse, abandonment, incarceration."

It seems that men need the stability of a wife, and so even if things aren't going well they'll stick around anyways. They like having a wife. Women, on the other hand, would rather be alone than with a man that doesn't treat them the way they want to be treated or expect they should be treated.

Type "why do women divorce more" into Google, and y'all can easily come across all this info for yourself.

 

[Kenny]

It seems that men need the stability of a wife, and so even if things aren't going well they'll stick around anyways. They like having a wife. Women, on the other hand, would rather be alone than with a man that doesn't treat them the way they want to be treated or expect they should be treated.

Would it be fair to paraphrase this as:

Men need women more than women need men.

or the inverse

Men value women more than women value men.

(that verb changes everything)

I'm not being facetious.

 

[fortasse]

It seems that men need the stability of a wife, and so even if things aren't going well they'll stick around anyways. They like having a wife. Women, on the other hand, would rather be alone than with a man that doesn't treat them the way they want to be treated or expect they should be treated.

Would it be fair to paraphrase this as:

Men need women more than women need men.

or the inverse

Men value women more than women value men.

(that verb changes everything)

I'm not being facetious.

That could be the case, except that this includes husbands that commit adultery. I would say those sort of men need, and do not value, their wife.

On the other hand, there might be men who are divorced by their wives because their wives did not understand how the men expressed his feelings for his wife (such as a man that works 10 hours a day to make lots of money for his wife, and the wife leaves him because she thinks he cares more about his job than her).

 

[Kenny]

Good points. There have been many good points made throughout this thread. Some dealing with the possible "whys" of these statistics.

Pragmatically speaking, all "whys" aside, on its face, men should realize that women are far more likely to break the vow "till death do us part" than men are.

The statistic was truly shocking to me as well, but it is a fact that men may want/need to consider that, depending on her station in life, your wife is anywhere from twice to nine times as likely to file for divorce than you are.

So as to not demonize, maybe this means that men have a lot to learn about keeping a woman happy.

Conversely, maybe someone shouldn't have to be "happy" to keep his or her word.

I don't know, that is why I'm not married.

 

[evanescencefan91]

that's actually really pretty interesting

my mom divorced my dad after he committed adultery, so that was pretty bad

woman are also more likely to suffer from depression, so if they are unhappy because of their depression they might associate that unhappyness with their marriage

I'm just hypothesising,


and side note,

just make sure to be nice to everyone else and try not to make any negative generalizing statements like "women are "something bad"" or "men are "something bad""

 

[Enchanted Girl]

Good points. There have been many good points made throughout this thread. Some dealing with the possible "whys" of these statistics.

Pragmatically speaking, all "whys" aside, on its face, men should realize that women are far more likely to break the vow "till death do us part" than men are.

The statistic was truly shocking to me as well, but it is a fact that men may want/need to consider that, depending on her station in life, your wife is anywhere from twice to nine times as likely to file for divorce than you are.

So as to not demonize, maybe this means that men have a lot to learn about keeping a woman happy.

Conversely, maybe someone shouldn't have to be "happy" to keep his or her word.

I don't know, that is why I'm not married.

Its kind of weird, but I've told boyfriends that I'd stay with them forever and never broken up with them afterwards. Just saying I'll always stay with someone is like taking vows to me even though I'm not in a chapel. And I've stayed with them even when they were making me miserable.

I'd rather people kept their words about this stuff no matter what, but I know there's also a limit to that and there should be. Like I've given myself a few scenarios where I should leave someone, if they cheated on me, beat me repeatedly, molested or raped or beat a child we had together, but sometimes I get scared I wouldn't leave even in those scenarios. I'm scared I'm one of those bad mothers who would see their kids abused and turn the other way and tell themselves it isn't happening.

And maybe I'm just weird, but I suffer severely emotionally when I am single. >_< Can't handle it at all. I always get encouraged actually when I hear that men suffer severely when they divorce. Not because I want them to suffer, but because it means they care as much as I do.

 

[Peter Lorre]

Another reason could be more based on the 'Family Law' they have in the USA. I'm not sure on this, as I'm not American, but it seems that in most cases the woman gains more protection from it and usually has a better chance of being the 'victor'.

So why would a man file for divorce if he's going to end up seeing his kids two weekends every month, pay alimony at the same time and be forced to move out of the house to some dodgy bachelor crib Seems like an obvious choice to me lol

 

[Elgin]

I don't believe you can really go by these results tho. Yes, women MAY very well initiate the divorce proceedings, but the questions is WHY were they initiated? There could be domestic violence or adultery or something else. Or they could simply be tired of the relationship. There is no knowing by these statistics what caused the percentage of women to file.
IMO, men seem to just carry on about things whatever way they want to. If they aren't happy in the marriage, why not just go out and do what they want while leaving their wives at home to take care of things there. Whereas, women don't seem to do things this way on a grander scale.

Yes, I am aware I may be wrong and I may be bias because of what i went through, but those are my opinions. If I'm wrong, please tell me or show me proof.

It NEVER fails. I can be gone for a week or more and if I stop in Kenny is getting dragged over the coals.

Are you his keeper? I believe he can speak for himself.

Don't assume you know someone's life. This post is not going to cause a fight, and Lim is correct. Some of the people here on this forum are lonely because of a break up or a divorce.

Like me?
I don't really see how just because a thread might be semi-controversial it will AUTOMATICALLY start a fight. We are adults for the most part, I'm sure we can manage.

No, I'm no ones keeper. I am an adult who stated an opinion. You and your snotty remarks andour bully tactics mean nothing to me.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Interesting note that I gathered from a few articles on Google: men tend to suffer more emotionally after a divorce than women, even though men tend to do better financially.

So perhaps one reason women divorce more is because they are better at surviving alone after a divorce than men.

Ahem, or, because women get most of the custody time with the kids usually, they do better emotionally than men tend to do.

---

maybe this means that men have a lot to learn about keeping a woman happy.

I think people change as time goes on, sometimes people change and grow apart.

I think maybe there are just more consequences for guys to get a divorce (child support, wife support), than women, rather than it being the case that women are more fickle than men.

I think it'd be worth your time to consider all the variables in these statistics. Also, where do these statistics come from? Are they from a reliable source?

I'm also thinking about research, how you have to watch out for causality in scientific experiments. Sometimes when you do a scientific experiment and you get a result, the ... independent variable which you think caused the result upon the dependent variable, isn't actually the variable responsible for the result.

It's something to keep in mind.

 

[Kenny]

The source is cited (and quoted in full) at the very top of the very first post in this thread.

A google search will result with dozens of results all saying approximately the same thing. Women are far more likely than men to disregard the particular vow "till death do us part".

I am familiar with the scientific method. Thank you.

I haven't stated any biased opinions, although I thank you for reminding me that I shouldn't.

 

[nerdygirl]

Pragmatically speaking, all "whys" aside, on its face, men should realize that women are far more likely to break the vow "till death do us part" than men are.

Conversely, maybe someone shouldn't have to be "happy" to keep his or her word.

The one problem with only looking at this is that we still have to look at the "why" factor. If men are abusing, cheating, etc., they are the first to make a breach of contract. The woman is no longer obligated to follow through by staying with the man.

 

[evanescencefan91]

No, I'm no ones keeper. I am an adult who stated an opinion. You and your snotty remarks andour bully tactics mean nothing to me.

Elgin adults usually refrain from using the word snotty

I think people change as time goes on, sometimes people change and grow apart.

I think maybe there are just more consequences for guys to get a divorce (child support, wife support), than women, rather than it being the case that women are more fickle than men.

I think it'd be worth your time to consider all the variables in these statistics. Also, where do these statistics come from? Are they from a reliable source?

I'm also thinking about research, how you have to watch out for causality in scientific experiments. Sometimes when you do a scientific experiment and you get a result, the ... independent variable which you think caused the result upon the dependent variable, isn't actually the variable responsible for the result.

It's something to keep in mind.

excellent point sophia

remember correlation does not mean causation

 

[Kenny]

I read dozens of words on this site every day that adults refrain from using.

Also, statistics on infidelity show it's 50/50

 

[VanillaCreme]

No, I'm no ones keeper. I am an adult who stated an opinion. You and your snotty remarks andour bully tactics mean nothing to me.

Elgin, you're the only one here who's trying to be a bully. In nearly every thread you post in, nearly every post you make, it's usually you trying to push people to have your opinion. If you can't be civil, I suggest you not post.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Kenny I have a question.

What if two women are married? Do they walk away in equal numbers?

 

[Elgin]

No, I'm no ones keeper. I am an adult who stated an opinion. You and your snotty remarks andour bully tactics mean nothing to me.

Elgin, you're the only one here who's trying to be a bully. In nearly every thread you post in, nearly every post you make, it's usually you trying to push people to have your opinion. If you can't be civil, I suggest you not post.

You know you are tight, I shouldn't be here. I've only posted about 4 times. One time to a guy putting down jobs for being beneath him when he said he had NO work skill at all and no real ambition for getting any. People bashed me because I work and have figured out that I make or break my own life. You've never seen me post about what a mess my life is because it isn't. That's NOT bragging it's just a fact. Now, I get called a bully just cause I'm sick of seeing the same people bust on Kenny. I also get busted on for using a word someone didn't like when this WHOLE forum could be used as a freaking example of illiteracy. I see other posts where people defend another person and it's fine. ME, it's a crime!
I'm new and a handy target for you to show what a hypocrite you are. YOUR one of the biggest offenders for being a bully, ignorant and one sided. No wonder this site is so slow and filled with spineless, lazy people who only want to whine and ***** about life being unfair and never really figuring out how to LIVE their life.
If this is how you treat new posters with a differing opinion or view, fine. I do have better things to do.

Callie bullied me and then Enchanted came in and defended her by saying she would, "fight me" Now isn't that what adults say all the time? Now enchanted gets all pissy and callie comes rushing in being a ***** and YOU blame me and say I bully. It's more funny than annoying.

Callie and enchanted need to get a room and YOU can camcord it for them.
because you're all a bunch of angry, bitter kids sticking together and making excuses for why you're all so messed up.

You have no clue what it is to be civil. YOUR the biggest hypocrite in here.
You think being a mod is some license to run over people but half the people in here hate you.

I don't need anyone to have the same opinion as me, now you're transferring your faults to me. Everybody sees it but they play your game. I don't play with losers. I'm outta here.

 

[Kenny]

Kenny I have a question.

What if two women are married? Do they walk away in equal numbers?

I don't know, but that is a hilarious question that made me think for a minute!

Actually, Soph, I just spent an hour or so online last night reading about domestic violence between same-sex couples.

 

[Callie]

WOW, way to make it about you, honey.
LOL, I'm a kid, that's funny. You don't know a **** thing about me, so don't presume that you do. Yes, you are perfect, we are not...it's your story, tell it like you wanna.

BTW, Kenny IS a big boy, I'm sure he can handle what gets thrown at him. If he couldn't, he wouldn't keep posting things that could result in arguments. Yet it's funny that YOU are the only one arguing in this thread, isn't it?

---

Kenny I have a question.

What if two women are married? Do they walk away in equal numbers?

I don't know, but that is a hilarious question that made me think for a minute!

Actually, Soph, I just spent an hour or so online last night reading about domestic violence between same-sex couples.

and the results?

 

[Kenny]

and the results?

LOL, well obviously the "woman" walks away 100% of the time in lesbian couples.

The other subject I was reading on was about how underreported same-sex violence actually as, and how these women are abused and aren't even safe in a "woman only" shelter because the abuser can go in.

---

Yet it's funny that YOU are the only one arguing in this thread, isn't it?

Actually, Enchanted Girl did go spastic first for no reason demanding the thread be closed. She's been following my posts for weeks, doing this, and she keeps doing it. It's quite annoying. She ransacked my book review thread and attacked me for being a victim of abuse myself.

 

[Callie]

I never really considered that about the women's shelters tho.

BUT, that also means that men walk away 100% of the time in the other aspect of this. lol