WHY ARE YOU HERE??

[sloth4urluv]

because one night I felt realy depressed and tried to kill myself, I just wanted to talk to someone.

 

[Bluey]

i joined this forum because i felt alone ..like i could not connect with anyone around me...

i was lucky because i did find the connection that i was looking 4 here..
i still have lots of issuses and still feel depressed though.. but i love the people here///..

i mean everyone is great but you'll are AMAZING! my culture is so different.. i've tried but i cant find anyone like the people i've met here where i live.

so i'm still here.. because i love the people that i meet here. they listen.. and arent quick to judge.. they dont want anything from me besides friendship, they tell me i'm not alone when i feel alone and they give me a kind of hope that i havent been able to find anywhere else.

Yea,, I hear you. My culture is all westernises. That is the only difference BTW. But yet the rest of your post is how I feel as well.. You are a pretty amazing person jales.. You know what I always read your posts and think am gonna give her a rep,, and I look and see that I already have. You are one of them ppl that continue to impress me. just you put things in such a supper cool way. And this is the one place where I found that ppl really can get me and understand me as well.

 

[Bluey]

because one night I felt realy depressed and tried to kill myself, I just wanted to talk to someone.

I have never actually tried to do that but have thought about it many times. The closest I ever got was,,, I got into my head that I no longer wonted to be here and that's cos the world did not wont me here. I still sometimes think that way. But one night I got very drunk with the intention of me and a rope getting it on, if you get what am saying. Anyway I ended up passing out from the drink be for I had got enough guts to go fro with it. The next day I awoke up still fully clothed and then sate down and really thought about what I was doing and where I was at and if I really ever was going to go fro with it.

The answer I got from my self is that I was never going to have the bottle to go fro with such an act. So then I come to the conclusion that I might as well get on with what I have and make the best out of it. Don't get me Wrong I still have times where I would rather not be here in this world but I never think of taking my own life no moor. That for me is a wast of time as I know am never going to do it. So I just get on with things now whether that's for the best are not. I made my dissension just over a year ago now and I know now that is a path I will not be taking.

1. cos there is no coming back. That dissuasion is the most final one you could ever make.

2. wouldn't wont to hurt the ppl that do love me like my mum and dad even though they do piss me of some time.

3. Life is not that long. The days can be long but the years are short. might as well see where it takes me.

4. A baby that dyes of a cot death tells me I have already had moor of a life then some ppl. So in that way am lucky... If you get that way of thinking.

5. Am not hungry or cold.. Any thing else I have has to be a boners.

 

[Luna]

Who never tought about that? I think theres no one... maybe those budistas (dunno the word in english). If there was a pill for it and if it would not pain and just make you sleep and it would be done... well, we would not be 6 bilions. Too good we need lots of courage to suicide. One of my ex bf tried twice but he is dumby cause on the first time he took all the pills he had on his house and wrote something very dramatic and went to his bed. So his son, that was a teenager, arrived home before he should, found him, took him to the bathroom and made him vomit alll he had in his stomach lol Its a bad situation cause, at least that day, he was kid and his son was the one pissed and yelling and all. The second time it was even more silly. He, again, wrote something dramatic (he didnt say what he would do), and went to the train line (hope you all will understand what i mean) and he just layed there and was waiting for the train come sooooo, again, someone arrived home (it was the siter of his wife) so she got his white and cute poodle and said "lets go, girl, lets find the daddy" and she followed the poodle and LOL the poodle found him. Now imagine the situation!! A friend of mine tried it too. She was just 16 and in love by a guy of 48 and married. They were together but his wife discovered about everything and left him but, one day, she wanted him back. So she locked herself in her bedroom with a gun and was crying on the bed, holding the gun, thinking if she should kill herself or not but the gun shoot alone and everybody heard the shot, her bf putted the door down and there she was, crying on the bed, and a hole in the wall. So, after that, he went to talk to his wife but took my friend with him and left her on the car. So she went to the drugstore, bought a good amount of pills that makes people calm and then went to a bar and took 2 ... (dont know how to say... its when you drink once and after you finish it, you ask more) of whisky and she tought it would be enought to die. So she waited and waited and she was just too crazy, not even close to death. Sooo she went to where her bf (they are married now) was with his wife and said: "i want the car keys NOW" (here we are allowed to drive after 18 and she didnt know how to drive, btw) so the guy and his wife had a fight and he took her back to the car. When the car was starting to move, not really fast, so she opened the door and jumped!! and!!! she fell on the sand!!! (they were on the beach, btw). After that i would stop trying to kill myself but nooooo! she kept trying. So he stoped the car, got her back into the car and started going home. Then she told him she wanted to vomit so he stoped the car so she started running and went to the water but the place she choosed to try the suicide again was almost the end of the water so, when the water was about her chest, she got stuck on the mud. And her bf was on the sand screaming "táaaaaarci, come here, baby! Táaaaaarci, come back!!!" When she tuned around cause she was there, like a cow in the mud without being able to move and keep the suicide plan, her bf was naked, with just the underwear and going to the water. So, after he takes her out of the mud and the water, he was cleaning her and talking to her and so!!! she started running again!!!! So he runned, holded her and beated her once. She started crying like a baby and said: my dad never hitted me! So he putted her in the car and took her home. She took a shower and was at the sofa when her mom arried and started screaming "open this door or i call the police!!! what you did to my baby???" So the guy told the whole story and said " so i hitted her once, on her butt" and her mother, after hear all that, asked: "just once???" lol I agree with her mom! After the second time she tried suicide, on the same day, i would hit her so strong that she would sleep all day, like an angel. Lol i love her lol Today she is 28 years old, she is married with the patient guy and has a boy of 8 years old. Im happy she was not smart enought to kill herself, even trying so many times. lol
Yeah, i wrote a lot =/ shame on me =/

 

[Bluey]

Yeah shame on you lol That took me forever to read. Not just cos am a slow reader but because I have nothing better to do to day then drink Ow well. But its quite ok I enjoyed reading it. It really was quite entertaining lol

But god that made me LOL

like a cow in the mud

oww dear me, You know a lot of crazy ppl. I have nothing useful are constructive to say to all that. Just wonted you to know that I read it all, every bit of it

 

[Luna]

Lol Bluey. Thanks a lot for reading it lol I always say i talk too much and now you can agree!! Lol theres nothing to say about them! They are just too silly and not very good in killing themselves. They made me laugh lots when they told me their suicide stories and too bad they got upset cause i was laughing of a such "serious" subject x)

 

[Bluey]

No no I don't think you talk to much. To be honest am just grateful for the convo.. I think it says a lot about someone when they can laugh at such serious things. I know you to be a nice person as Ive read some of your posts so I know your not arrogant. You laugh cos its funny. That dose not make you any less sympathetic of there pain.

For give me if I come acorus as arrogant Ive had to much to drink and should really be heading for my bed to sleep it of. I'm in a selfish self pitfall stat. But well live for another day. Whether that's a good or bad thing I can not say but live another day I well. That's for sure,,, in less I go in my sleep to night but I am not that lucky. I have to stay here with in all the problems that I have to deal with and there is no except for me. Tut tut on me lol oww am not that down as I may come across... just a little tipsy, that's all all sleep well to night

 

[sloth4urluv]

lol, know what you mean, I was there last night bluey

Some of those stories were pretty funny luna.

I had a similar situation that you had bluey, it was a belt instead of a rope though.

 

[Luna]

For give me if I come acorus as arrogant
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huh? lol Where you were arrogant? and i dont even know what acorus means lol. Blah! Dont worry about that! Btw who doesnt have problems, huh? huh? huh? x) But i keep my mind too busy talking lots so i dont have time to think on them u.u lol

Some of those stories were pretty funny luna.
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Good that you liked lol I hope you are fine today ^.^

 

[Skorian]

Bluey. Do you have MS word? Like you should spell check some of your posts. You confuse people who don't know english super super well... We have to decode ya...

Poor Luna.

Check out some of my super long posts Luna...

Neither of you are arrogant.... SILLYS

 

[evanescencefan91]

I'm happy she was not smart enough to kill herself, even trying so many times,

that made me laugh to, I'm glad she's okay.

But it makes me happy that maybe there's a reason why we put up with some of the stupid people and some of the dumb stuff they do.

 

[Bluey]

Oh Luna. Am glad you did not think bad of me Well, its the morning after and I feel surprisingly well and acorus means across lol that was the drink doing that BTW. And Skorian most ppl do not have a problem understanding my grammar. If they do they can ask what something means like Luna did. I stopped apologizing for that long ago. I do have spell check yes and use it with ever post I make. The problem with spell check is sometimes a word well be correct but in the wrong context of things. The spelling mistakes that was made last night was because I was drunk. I normally do not come on here after I have had a drink but last night I was feeling particularly alone and a bit sorry for myself as well. I did find this place just the same as you all you know. I think sometimes ppl here forget that. Its not always easy to come across in a positive way as am sure you would understand. I am dealing with my own battle as well.

 

[Blue Sky]

We understand you Bluey, don't even worry about it, just keep on going, your way.

 

[shatteredream]

I am here because I'm going through a divorce. I'm a 31 year old man. I've been married for almost 13 years. I got married when I was 18. We have 2 wonderful, beautiful girls, but they are staying with her so I don't get to see them that much. I've never been alone my entire adult life. That is, until now. And it's hard to deal with. I got hurt very badly, emotionally. And it's almost unbearable, the loneliness. I don't make friends very well. I've just recently come out of a fundamentalist church, which I've had to leave because of the divorce, and I realize now I was really mistreated in that church. I would have been excommunicated from the church if I had stayed there, because I'm getting a divorce. So I left. I didn't want to give them the opportunity.

I am learning to accept the reality of it but it still hurts. I would just like to talk with people that have maybe gone through a similar situation.

Reading my books helps, and so does praying. But I need some friends. And I hope one day to find somebody that truly loves me, and whom I can truly love.

 

[Hijacc]

*stands up* I'm here because I'm an alcoholic....
but on a serious note I'm here too keep people happy

 

[Luna]

Check out some of my super long posts Luna...
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I will!!! i like reading!!

that made me laugh to, I'm glad she's okay.
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She laughs about that now too lol Sometimes i laugh so much with her that i cry and my cheeks hurt lol I tell her that, cause of her, i will need botox pretty soon (hope you all know what is botox lol)

Bluey, i hope you really feel better today. About the english thing, im learning the language. I used to be like Me= Luna... you=??? Im a bit better now x)

shatteredream, i really feel sorry for you cause its really bad when a relationship ends. we normally get lost... and 13 years is a lot of time dedicated and see everything going away probably hurts a lot. Nothing that i say will make you feel better so i will just wish that soon it will be not hurting you so much.

*stands up* I'm here because I'm an alcoholic...
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Try to eat chocolates... it tastes better. x)

 

[sloth4urluv]

I am here because I'm going through a divorce. I'm a 31 year old man. I've been married for almost 13 years. I got married when I was 18. We have 2 wonderful, beautiful girls, but they are staying with her so I don't get to see them that much. I've never been alone my entire adult life. That is, until now. And it's hard to deal with. I got hurt very badly, emotionally. And it's almost unbearable, the loneliness. I don't make friends very well. I've just recently come out of a fundamentalist church, which I've had to leave because of the divorce, and I realize now I was really mistreated in that church. I would have been excommunicated from the church if I had stayed there, because I'm getting a divorce. So I left. I didn't want to give them the opportunity.

I am learning to accept the reality of it but it still hurts. I would just like to talk with people that have maybe gone through a similar situation.

Reading my books helps, and so does praying. But I need some friends. And I hope one day to find somebody that truly loves me, and whom I can truly love.

Sorry to hear that. It must really hard for you not being able to be with your daughters all the time.

 

[Lost in the Oilfield]

*stands up* I'm here because I'm an alcoholic...
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Try to eat chocolates... it tastes better. x)

What about rum filled chocolates

 

[Bluey]

Bluey, i hope you really feel better today. About the english thing, im learning the language. I used to be like Me= Luna... you=??? Im a bit better now x)

I would say your loads better now. I would never have known you was still learning from your posts.