Why Are You Lonely?

[Tristeza]

Introverted personality, low self esteem, socially awkward, inability to make/keep friends...the list could go on.,

 

[nerdygirl]

because my gears lack oil and my wires don't connect properly

 

[fatalism's friend]

I'm lonely because I've chosen to be alone. I function well but, I can't bring myself to form lasting relationships. Its like that part of me is broken.

 

[twinklestar]

i guess i'm lonely as i always seem to get pushed out of groups of friends, most other women don't ever want me around.....for example i'm always there to help my friends when they have been let down for the millionth time by another friend, but then when it comes to it i never get their support back.....i feel like i'm always the last resort and there for favours,advice etc etc but NEVER for anything fun such as going out etc

 

[suds00]

i have a disability

 

[putter65]

I am lonely because people don't like me. Not everybody but the majority.

That's why I spend alot of time by myself.

 

[Equinox]

I'm lonely because I feel different; I always focus on the things that separates me from others, the things that we DON'T have in common. I alienate myself from couple friends, because I'm single. I alienate myself from pretty friends, because I'm ugly. I alienate myself from very sociable friends, because I'm a shy introvert. I alienate myself from friends with kids, because I don't want any myself. And so on. I always feel inferior to others, and I've been let down enough times to have trust issues. I constantly see myself as someone outside looking in.

I'm also lonely because I've always been single; I struggle with intimicay and rarely let anyone close enough to actually get to know me.

 

[Limlim]

Ugh I'm the same way, except that I even extend that to my family. My brother and sister are both in successful relationships, one had a kid last year and the other had one a month ago. I just don't want to be anywhere near them, and not just because I'm not a kid person (which I am not) but I don't want to be the third wheel, or worse start thinking about reasons why my life didn't work out how it was supposed to when I see them happily progressing.

 

[meekthoughts]

I'm shy since childhood, and also care a lot about what others think of me. I have a hard time knowing what to say in a conversation, even in just a silly/casual one. I could probably improve if I tried honing my skills and actively talking to random people, but I can't bring myself to. Nowadays, I don't even try to socialize with others in real life no matter how lonely it gets. It's entirely my own fault.

 

[Maoke320]

I guess I don't feel at ease in many normal social settings and find it stressful, hence avoid it. I know for sure I havent made the most out of past friend groups, ive been lucky people made an effort with me as I don't to tend initiate things that much and eventually they take it as disinterest which is understandable =/.

There are times when I want to be social but the right opperunities i'll go for tend to be quite rare, though I wish they could come along more often.

 

[siriuslyriddikulus]

For me, I'm lonely when it comes to not having a boyfriend. I have some friends, but I just haven't had a boyfriend for 4 or 5 years (I'm 20 now). I make friends with guys pretty easily--easier than with girls--but I guess no one is ever interested in me. It leads me to believe that I'm not pretty and skinny enough. Now whenever I like a guy, I just like him from afar because I know it would be too much to think that he could like me too.

:/

 

[TelegramSam]

Mostly a matter of choice. Although that choice has been informed by circumstances in my childhood. Didn't really have many friends growing up, and then I just figured I didn't really need friends anyway. Went to uni, and that all changed, so I'm getting used to being lonely again.

Annoys me that a lot of loners still manage to get some, but I guess that's just the way life is. It's not really the sex I want, just someone to be close to in a romantic sense. Oh well. I'll put the kettle on. :rolleyes2:

 

[Jilted John]

I'm lonely because I live on my own,I live on my own because I choose to.I choose to because I'm the only person I really trust.

 

[HappyYogi]

Thalassa, that was beautiful and intelligent.

Thank You.

I'm lonely because...
I've been let down by everyone in my life
I'm different to people and get misunderstood
I long for more than what others are offering
I have 1 self-centered friend who doesn't understand the word 'us'
Being around most people feels so empty
I don't get on with girls and boys usually just want one thing
No one can see my true worth
I don't belong in this time and age
None of my emotional needs are met
I'm not a priority to anyone
People around me are so distant and cold
I am excluded in this society of families
I am completely isolated
I'm a social pariah
I have never had a real friend
I'm on the outside looking in
I lack a social support network
I dislike my own company
I am never missed

---

Equinox,

Thank you for this. The alienating yourself from others because they are "x" and you are "y" is something I do, too. But you helped me clarify and be more aware of it. Thank you for doing that.

I alienate myself from others sometimes because they have a normal life (career, family, lots of friends, great familial relationships). Sometimes because I fear I won't be good enough or rejected.

Thanks, you've helped me.

I'm lonely because I feel different; I always focus on the things that separates me from others, the things that we DON'T have in common. I alienate myself from couple friends, because I'm single. I alienate myself from pretty friends, because I'm ugly. I alienate myself from very sociable friends, because I'm a shy introvert. I alienate myself from friends with kids, because I don't want any myself. And so on. I always feel inferior to others, and I've been let down enough times to have trust issues. I constantly see myself as someone outside looking in.

I'm also lonely because I've always been single; I struggle with intimicay and rarely let anyone close enough to actually get to know me.

---

I want to say this thread has been so healing and so helpful to me. Reading all of your thoughts have helped me understand my feelings. Thank you so much.

Anyways, why am I a lonely person? In my case, friendships have always been the hardest. I have not had any trouble finding love relationships (and friendships within that framework) but friendships, especially with other females have been hard.

I have a deep fear I will not be "good enough" for someone. I fear I won't matter or won't seem worthwhile. It's funny, even though I do love to chit chat and share (just for brief amounts of time) and I feel interesting and fun, I am often left with the feeling that I am not worth it to the other person and that hurts.

Me and my bf onetime went to a large Thanksgiving gathering of acquaintances. All around us people were engaged in conversation. Somehow we never really got included, it was like we were invisible. I don't know why because I feel we are pretty good conversationalists and fairly interesting AND I am always willing to give anyone time and attention YET I often feel not good enough.

So it's that and that I don't know how to be with friends for a long period of time, I feel misunderstood a lot, I don't feel my life is very successful so I feel some shame(this can really hold you back).

Thanks everyone. Excellent thread.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I won't rattle on too long, I'm doing enough of that lately!

I think with me it's genuine self confidence that I lack. I never feel like I'm confident in what I'm doing when it comes down to crunch time. I seem to have lost out on lots of potential relationships now simply because I always feel like I'm doing the wrong thing by admitting my feelings.

Not sure why I do that, but meh.

It even manifests in my work. I'm a smart guy, but I'll submit an assignment and get bits wrong simply because I convinced myself my correct answer was not! Other people seem to know they're right and just follow their feelings, I can't seem to do that without over analysing.

Also, I'm quite unlucky with relationships so far, I seem to be attractive to women who have no idea what they want, which is frustrating. The first lady I met in particular, was a real specimen of confusion. I've never seen anyone so all over the place before or since.

I'm trying to have some faith in myself now though and stop having these weird negative thoughts which seem to have become habit for me now.

Now I'm giving myself these macho little mental pep talks and seeing if that helps replace these strange feelings of inadequacy that I keep getting. I think I probably got those feelings tattooed into me when I was bullied in the past or something. Seems to be working so far, so I'm reasonably pleased

 

[ryk]

Why do I feel lonely?

I seem to be unable to go and talk to others and make friends. Put me in a random place for a good period of time, and you could almost guarantee that I won't speak to anyone.

Even if I do speak, people tend to either ignore me or lose interest quickly for some unfathomable reason. Can't exactly understand why.

 

[guld]

I'd say it's due to being self-critical, to a point where being around others becomes too much to cope with. It works out for a while, but I eventually create catastrophic scenarios of being rejected, and shy away in the end, before someone else has gotten the chance of rejecting me first.

 

[LonelyL]

I'm lonely because I'm too retarded to have any friends or a loving relationship..

[video=youtube]

 

[epic fale boy]

Because I deserve to be.

 

[DeadSun]

because i'm too **** good looking,people get jealous.