Why Are You Lonely?

[WhiteTiger Lily]

Hmm, why am I lonely? Well, I suppose it started when I was younger. I was diagnosed with ADHD, and was put on various forms of medication to calm me down. This caused me to become very quiet and withdrawn, even after I went off the medicine.

I'm an only child, and was often bullied at school and punished into silence at home and school. Many depressing situations later, I found myself with no supportive family members and no friends.

Pretty sure my depression has a lot to do with it as well, as well as crippling shyness. My brain will scream "do it! talk to the person/sign up for the club!" but I can't muster the courage. ><

 

[Arsenic Queen]

I'm just a loser thats all

 

[passage]

I have very few friends. Why do I have little friends? Well if I knew that I'd be working on it.

 

[girl4arts]

I am lonely because of this journey my life has taken in the last couple of years. My husband of 20 years divorced me 2 years ago. He found an old friend on facebook and decided our marriage was not working. I also had emotionally checked out because he drank and my needs all around were not being met. At first I seemed to roll with the punches and had a boyfriend from a different country come visit. We travelled some and things seemed fine. Last June I got the most dreaded phone call. My ex husband had passed away by suicide. He left behind a young aspiring son of 17 years. It was then that our lives fully fell apart. My son tried to die by suicide last October and has been in counseling. He is doing well and has no threats of harming himself. I am not doing very well. I feel like nobody really cares. The roles these "friends" used to play in my life seems to have changed both for them and for myself. I work 2 jobs and attend night school. I feel as if I am barely hanging on. I do not drink so it really makes it tough to go out and meet people. When my ex passed my boyfriend basically hgit the road. it was too much on a new relationship. I am lost and more lonesome than I have ever felt in my entire life. I am 46 and lost.

 

[ssbanks2000]

Short answer is because very few people get to know the real me and those that do seem to vanish from my life or hurt me.

 

[Among the Sleep]

A lot of it comes from me never having had a long term relationship, I dont get much attention from girls, its hard to understand why sometimes...because people who meet me generally like me, I dont have a particularly difficult time speaking with girls (no more than anyone else I guess) and Im not a great looking guy, but not a really bad one. Id say Im about dead-average, I mean, you can find a girl that will date an averageish guy. But I think I come off as a little too nice sometimes, I think I just have a bit of a goofy personality that a lot of women like, like I said Im usually OK about talking to girls and I have good friends that are girls, but it doesnt make them attracted to me.

I think somewhere this lack of self confidence snowballed into depression, which in turn has led to serious drug abuse, and its really made me alienated from my family in particular...its awkward for me and my parents to even say hi sometimes, thats how much distance Ive put between us because of my anxiety about familial relationships. And I dont think they have any idea why I ignore them so much, and Im not sure if I do either, and thats the real ***** of it because I love them to death and cant bring myself to show it at all.

That felt good.

 

[firebird85]

Because americans are socially disconnected, as are females.

 

[Pezza]

Because americans are socially disconnected, as are females.

Just do yourself a favor and unsubscribe from SteveHoca's channel, there's a reason he only has 500 subscribers...

You firebird85 have only got yourself to blame for your loneliness, dont claim that the entire female population is "socially disconnected" and that they're to blame, people are just going to laugh...

 

[firebird85]

No I don't blame myself. I didn't ask for people to ignore me. I didn't ask to never have a girlfriend before. I didn't ask to never have a female friend before. Girls are shallow. They have requirements. As a guy you need to have certain types of looks, a job to support her lazy self, a car, and a nice place to live. You also need a PHD or a masters degree to show "ambition". People in general aren't the best either. You being in France, have no idea how it is in America. I do. I'm here. I know how people are.

I can't even get a girl to say hello on a dating site. I've never been given the time of day nor have they seen me even as friendship material. Why? For no reason whatsoever. But apparently being the quiet, honest, responsible person isn't respected today.

 

[Pezza]

I don't have to be in America to know you speak BS.

 

[Hoffy]

No I don't blame myself. I didn't ask for people to ignore me. I didn't ask to never have a girlfriend before. I didn't ask to never have a female friend before. Girls are shallow. They have requirements. As a guy you need to have certain types of looks, a job to support her lazy self, a car, and a nice place to live. You also need a PHD or a masters degree to show "ambition". People in general aren't the best either. You being in France, have no idea how it is in America. I do. I'm here. I know how people are.

I can't even get a girl to say hello on a dating site. I've never been given the time of day nor have they seen me even as friendship material. Why? For no reason whatsoever. But apparently being the quiet, honest, responsible person isn't respected today.

I can tell you exactly why you haven't been spoken to and it's because of yourself. Not every single girl is an awful ***** that you make us out to be, but I am growing tired of your comments toward us and the fact that you blame everyone else but yourself.

 

[firebird85]

I know, not believe, but know it isn't me. That's just what the people here think based on the posts I make. You never seen me in real life. I am a hard working, decent, responsible, soft spoken person who has an anvil on his shoulders trying to deal with the concept of creating and keeping a social life, and a dating/relationship life. Don't listen to how the message is delivered, listen to the message itself.

I must be one of the only people out there that isn't conditioned into blaming myself and beating myself up over external problems.

 

[Hoffy]

That may be, but you come across as blaming a whole entire gender and that isn't a very good thing to do, especially if you want to gain the intrest of this gender.

 

[Minus]

I must be one of the only people out there that isn't conditioned into blaming myself and beating myself up over external problems.

While you may find it better to blame a whole gender for your problems that would seem rather unlikely.

 

[Sci-Fi]

nvm

 

[firebird85]

That may be, but you come across as blaming a whole entire gender and that isn't a very good thing to do, especially if you want to gain the intrest of this gender.

I have to go after the source of the issue.

 

[Hoffy]

That may be, but you come across as blaming a whole entire gender and that isn't a very good thing to do, especially if you want to gain the intrest of this gender.

I have to go after the source of the issue.

Which is what? All women. How is that going to do you any good stereotyping all females as to be a certain way just because you haven't met one that is not that way. You having all this hate towards women will get you without one. No female is going to be attracted to a guy who thinks she is a certain way already in their head before you actually know her.

 

[firebird85]

I haven't met one? I haven't met any, period. All chances were OFF before I could even try. Still is to this day. Real talk. Never had female friends, dates, girlfriend, nothing. PROOF right there. I never existed. Still don't.

Never had any opportunities to begin with.

 

[Hoffy]

That's what I'm trying to tell you. Why would any of us females want to get to know you with all the post you make making us all out to be awful.

 

[firebird85]

Like I said, even before I didn't wake up to this stuff, when I was younger, I was still locked out.