Why can't I accept it?

[annik]

Personally I kind of see this thread as closed now as I was unaware of certain points when I started it. Not sure if it can be closed or whatever but yes I see it as over.

Edit. That said I personally don't see the fact that his wife left him as making everything alright. They were still cheating for some years. To all the people who said this is none of my business. She is my sister, I care a great deal for her but also am shocked by her behaviour. I feel quite strongly that cheating is wrong and I just feel that this has shown the man she is with in a very bad light. I will never only see him as my sisters boyfriend. I feel my sister deserves better than this, than him. However I do feel they have been given a get out of jail free card. They have hurt and lied to a lot of people, why should that just all be forgotten?

Also I would in some ways like to have nothing to do with any of it but she tells me, wants to tell me? So what can I do. Its a difficult situation, one thats hard.

I feel the people saying I'm being judgmental should perhaps take there own advice.

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

She gets away with what? Its like you feel like she should have been taught a lesson or something. Stop being so judgmental, you have your own life to live, no need to worry about her love life so much.

Maybe I have seen to much real life, but something like this barely registers on my ranks of the evils of the world.

Being judgmental is the last thing I would call it in this case. She was merely stuck in the middle of a stressful family matter that was hindering the relationships between her sister and her parents and additionally conflicting with her moral principles. She had every right to disagree with her sister and be concerned for her.

And I really don't see the logic behind her sister's cheating being permissible only because it ranks lower than, say, genocide or embezzlement in world banks and markets, mind you.

[Edit: Sorry, annik. I won't post here anymore.]

 

[annik]

Hey don't apologise and thanks. Its good getting neutral opinions on stuff. As you say I'm stuck in the middle of this and its hard to keep perspective.

I mean the whole point of this thread was because I was trying to say I find it hard that I can't accept it. It just feels like its not relevant now as I've been brought up to date on whats actually happening.

I guess that post you quoted bugged me a little because it seems to imply I'm sticking my nose in when in reality myself and my parents are kind of having this whole thing rammed down our throats.

 

[septicemia]

I never implied you were being nosey or anything. Also I dont see how saying dont be judgmental, is in turn, me being judgmental? Lol.

Anyway, I am glad you feel like this is a non issue for you and your sister now. I never meant to insult you or anything. My point was that there are WAY worse things to be worry about, and if your sister loves this man, then all you need to do is be happy for her. Why stress and taint your relationship with your sister over her being in love? Its not like they are being drug addicts together, or that hes beating her.

You dont get to pick who your sister falls in love with, and having animosity towards her boyfriend (of many years now it sounds like) is just creating unnecessary bad feelings and tension between you and her. Love your sister for who she is, and accept that her decisions are her own, and they will differ from yours, but thats OK!

 

[annik]

Because you are making the judgement that I am judgemental. Plus the whole tone of the post was a judgemental tone.

I do not see it as a non issue now at all but this thread was started because I was having trouble with why I couldn't accept the situation.A situation which is now I've learnt different.

Anyway thats why I see this as closed on here.

 

[RJLJD]

"if you're a good person in this world you expect to get treated better by the world than those that ruin relationships or whatever else, but clearly in this instance that's not the case."

I have no clue what you are trying to say here? Are you saying that because the sister has had a long term relationship with a man who was married (but not anymore) that she is a horrible person who should be treated badly and deserves to have bad things happen to her? Maybe I have seen to much real life, but something like this barely registers on my ranks of the evils of the world.

i'm saying there indeed should be some sort of retribution, some sort of justice. regardless of the magnitude of the misdeed, it was STILL a misdeed. put yourself in the position of the other woman. how long was she married to this guy? how long was the wool pulled over her eyes to the tune of her living a lie? those are years of her life she'll never get back. how dare that man (if you can even call him that) whose supposedly loves this woman do that to her? its disgusting to me.
i'm sorry, but some things just work me up.