SimonT said:
Is it normal for a man to have absolutely no confidence around women he doesn't know? Is it normal. Even if a woman smiles at me I'm reluctant to say hi. Is it confidence or self esteem? I just don't know. All's I know is I'm gonna be single forever at this rate.
Pretty much the same here. I can't even seem to talk to women online anymore, I mean I can but not like IM'ing or god forbid webcams. I used to be fine online at least, but I guess over the years I've just broken down even more. I'm not even sure if it's necessarily shyness, more like I'm just crazy. I'll sort of play out all these scenario's in my head which end horribly, and I think she'd probably hate me.
(sort of a long rant that's probably not worth reading below.)
And if I find a woman attractive its even worse. First I was taking like a week just to send this girl a PM about a post on the singles thread (not going to say who it is or say anything specific so it should be fine to talk about privacy wise.), debating whether or not I should try talking to her since she couldn't possibly have any interest in me. Then I finally do and she gives me her Skype name. Then I'm thinking oh god I don't wanna use webcams and a mic because I'm ******* hideous and I couldn't handle the pressure even if she seemed nice, but I'm on a laptop so I can't really just say I don't have a webcam. So after a day or two I send a PM asking if we can just IM and not use webcams or mic's even though it probably makes me seem like a crazy *******.
Then she says she only wants to IM anyway. So then a few days after that when I'm done with some stuff in real life and I'm feeling okay I go on Skype to add her. Then I put her name in the search (see her picture) and immediately think Oh fresia, she's hot. Game over man, game over. It's not so bad when it's some faceless person but when you see who she is AND she's crazy attractive, it just sort of makes me feel like I shouldn't even be talking to her you know? Even online. It's sort of like going in for an interview at some corporate office where everyone's wearing really nice business suits and you're just wearing a torn up pair of jeans and a T-shirt. It seems like it'd be stupid to even try.
And then even if we did talk to each other, maybe just a few days or a few weeks or whatever then what if I liked her and then one day she just loses interest or decides she hates me and we never talk again? Rejection from someone you don't really know and haven't really talked to is one thing, but if I spent a lot of time talking to a girl and got attached to her or something I don't know if I could take just being cut off again. Just sort of thrown away like none of it really happened, like I never even existed. But If I can't even start a conversation with a woman online then I'll always be miserable and alone like I am now.
Anyway I'm just saying there's other people with similar problems, so it's sort of normal. Or at least, it's sort of normal for a lot of people here. And sorry for the somewhat incoherent rambling about personal issues and taking up so much space on the thread with it, I just sorta wanted to get some stuff out I guess. Also it's 7am over here so I apologize for any spelling errors and/or poor writing.