Why do people have to cheat?

[Pike Creek]

statistics on cheating
The who's the whys and the numbers

Why dwell on it? Everyone cheats or has been cheated on, or knows someone who's been through it. If it's cathartic, I guess you can give your stats, I don't see the point.

 

[stork_error]

statistics on cheating
The who's the whys and the numbers

Why dwell on it? Everyone cheats or has been cheated on, or knows someone who's been through it. If it's cathartic, I guess you can give your stats, I don't see the point.

The point is why argue about something that has facts to back it up. Hiding from and denying the painful realities about life are not going to make them any better.

 

[Pike Creek]

I guess people who need sympathy feel the need to make a list of who cheated on them with the details if they haven't gotten over it. I just don't see the point because dwelling on it puts it back in the present. Hiding and denying isn't the same as not wanting to delve into past hurts.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Hiding and denying isn't the same as not wanting to delve into past hurts.

Not always, but it can mean the same thing, depending on who you are. Someone people THINK they've gotten over it and put it in the past, only to realize later that they ARE hiding from it and living a delusion about it.

Personally, I feel that if it still hurts a lot, you didn't really come to terms with it, which means you are hiding from it. I've been cheated on. It's the past, it doesn't matter anymore. Hell, I just accepted a friend request on FB of a girl my ex cheated on me with. lol
Do I remember what it felt like, yes. Does it matter now, no, not really. It's the past. Learn from it, get over it and let it go. You can't change that it happened, so why dwell on it and let it continue to hurt you.

 

[ladyforsaken]

They find better.

I think so too. They find better.

And that when that happens it's like their current one means nothing to them.. no matter how much they deny that, it kind of equates to that. And I think that's painful for the one being cheated on.. especially if they really did love the person who cheated and never expected it at all. That is probably one of the worst feelings of hurt and pain, ever.

Yeaaaah. I don't think this is the case 100% of the times -- people aren't perfect and just screw up sometimes -- but it's a big percentage. I've seen so many people my age "settling" just because they wanted a partner and then cheating on said partner, just flat out acting like the relationship was nothing.

Yeah.

Imagine being cheated on x 5 during the span of six months. I had no idea.
She first told me after a few glasses of wine via our nightly phone calls after our first month being together but was ambiguous, only to say she 'had relations'.
Being that we were just getting started after many months of e-mails and phone chats prior to our first meeting in person, I sort of brushed it off, as she said it was just nothing / meant nothing with the ex BF who kept coming around.
Of course, she assured me that she loved me, and asked me to forgive her. Since we lived about 2 - 3 hours apart, it shook my confidence a little, but I had fallen under her spell by then.
Thought things were going to be OK, but then two surprise e-mails directly sent from two of her "close friends (lovers) painted a different picture. And to top it off she got pregnant by a one-night drunken stand.
One of the e-mails revealed that she is a diagnosed bipolar hypersexual. Found out there were 5 different lovers spending time with her. No wonder she liked our long distance relationship. I now understand the workings of bipolar people, and try to be understanding, but this...this was just something I had never ever experienced.
I was absolutely crushed. She insisted our relationship didn't have to change. But she ended up turning away from me anyway.
And people wonder why I don't smile anymore.

Just, oh. my. goodness. How do you even deal with that. Sorry you had to go through that.