Why must teenagers suck

[Ymir]

(Yes I am aware I am one of them.)

I've been a bit inactive recently because life gets in the way and I've been far too drained to offer any advice to people, but I am back with this thread because something is frustrating me very much.

I have a very close friend. But she's getting on my nerves. She's been through a lot of honeysuckle recently regarding a traumatic event and the end of a long term romantic relationship just a couple of months after said event, in the shittiest way possible, and she's been slacking off a lot of school work. I get what's like to have shitty things happening so I tried to offer my support the best way I could, including slapping her name on group projects she did not help one bit to make.

But now she's slacking off school work for a boy who is a liar and completely gross. He told her that he only had eyes for her since the beginning when he had been hitting on me several weeks before; he also told her he didn't want anything serious and when she found someone for a brief period of time he spewed the classic "you used me" bullshit. Everyone thinks he's no good. I, personally, can't stand him for his behavior and the people he associates with (namely a guy who actually harrassed me and another friend of mine).

I am not the most emotional person out there. Takes me a lot of effort to have a close friendship with someone for years. And I'm on my breaking point with her slacking off work, defending a jerk and lying to me about distancing herself from him, instead of at least telling me the ******* truth.

I know she's in a bad place, but I just ******* wish she could see that getting a boyfriend is NOT going to solve the problem. Neither is putting her closest friendships at stake because of a dude who's with her just because she's the first who gave him some attention.

Honestly, I kinda just want to throw myself out of the face of Earth and completely give up on people because I'm really tired of seeing all my efforts go to waste again and again.

 

[mad monty]

Yeah, teenagers do suck. I have no idea why people believe having a BF/GF will help them.

 

[Outcast]

Honestly, I kinda just want to throw myself out of the face of Earth and completely give up on people because I'm really tired of seeing all my efforts go to waste again and again.

^I can relate to this.

Also, this sounds like less of an age issue and more of a maturity issue. A lot of teens can be immature so it leads to them doing stupid things. One day hopefully she grows up and realizes this.

 

[DVEUS]

just know that you will look back on this and say >> nothing...it's not even laughable...chalk it up to a 'life lesson'...the phrase 'older and wiser' will ring true to you one day...trust me

 

[user 115627]

There's only so much one can do for a friend in need. You can guide them, but you can't walk their path for them. Sounds like you already went out of your way to support her as effectively as possible. But I think even a good friend's responsibility ends somewhere...

Love is blind - maybe even more so at this young age. If people aren't willing to listen to advice, they'll have to learn this lesson the hard way. That's the only way to gain some maturity for some of us.

 

[Tiina63]

It is hard seeing a friend who has already gone through so much throwing herself into a bad relationship. I don't think your efforts to help have been wasted though. Kindness and support is never wasted, even when the other person doesn't seem to respond to it. Supportive and kind things you have said to her may stay in her mind and come back to her at her blackest moments, giving her some comfort and hope. We can't control what other people do-all we can do is be there for them when things go bad for them once again.

 

[TheSkaFish]

It seems that at that age, really shitty guys are seen as "cool". The more of a jerk and a scumbag he is, the higher his social proof. I hate it too.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Welcome to reality, most teenagers suck, their brains haven't fully developed yet. Many carry that behaviour on until about age 25 then most seem to grow up, some don't. There are a few who do have their honeysuckle together at a young age but man are they ever rare to find.

 

[Ymir]

Yeah, I had a serious talk with her and said that I would not approve her relationship but I wouldn't argue with her about it anymore. On the other hand, I also wouldn't go the extra mile to help her when she clearly had other priorities in mind, because I can only do so much. The only problem is see is that the traumatic event was REALLY traumatic, and I don't know if she can take yet another blow with this dude.

But it's her god **** life and I will not be responsible for it. As long as that creep is out of my sight, I'll be fine. I hope that in adulthood I have wiser friends because honestly I can't take other several decades of this.

Thank you guys for reading my vent, though, considering it's probably a silly problem. I'll survive eventually hahaha

 

[kamya]

Honestly, people in their 20s are no different. Maybe people in their 30s will be different? Dunno.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Honestly, people in their 20s are no different. Maybe people in their 30s will be different? Dunno.

People in their 30's aren't much better. lol

 

[Ymir]

Honestly, people in their 20s are no different. Maybe people in their 30s will be different? Dunno.

People in their 30's aren't much better. lol

When will it end :club:

 

[Sci-Fi]

All this stuff may seem important and is the center of your universe right now, as it should be you are young. But when you get older and look back you will wonder why you ever worried about such little things, or let them get to you. Focus on what is really important, which many young people seem to forget about in favour of their social lives, get a good education, work hard, find a decent job and worry about making yourself happy.

 

[Tiina63]

Honestly, people in their 20s are no different. Maybe people in their 30s will be different? Dunno.

People in their 30's aren't much better. lol

People in their fifties are not always much better either

 

[Case]

Honestly, people in their 20s are no different. Maybe people in their 30s will be different? Dunno.

People in their 30's aren't much better. lol

People in their fifties are not always much better either

I can attest to the suckitude of people in their Forties, as well.

So, the lesson here is to "find your tribe." If you think someone is a liar or a jerk or an *******, that person is not part of your tribe. Keep looking until you find people who share your aspirations, have a similar temperament, and who treat you with respect. This applies to every age-group, actually.

Find your tribe. You will be happier for it.