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Would You Choose To Be Lonely?

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Diagnosed

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Sep 13, 2019
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Hi everyone,

I'd like to pose a question, based on what I'm going through.

If you realized that you are too lonely to live alone, too scared to start all over again and too nostalgic with good memories, would you leave a relationship that was bad 50% of the time and really good 50% of the time?

Of course, I'm having a bad day so my thoughts are all over the map.

PS: If you think I'm whiny or wishy washy, you don't need to reply, it's okay. I'm just trying to figure life out. :(
My bet is NOT to but, the problem remains on who I would or should find to...
 

Slick

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Hi everyone,

I'd like to pose a question, based on what I'm going through.

If you realized that you are too lonely to live alone, too scared to start all over again and too nostalgic with good memories, would you leave a relationship that was bad 50% of the time and really good 50% of the time?

Of course, I'm having a bad day so my thoughts are all over the map.

PS: If you think I'm whiny or wishy washy, you don't need to reply, it's okay. I'm just trying to figure life out. :(
I actually have had 3 relationships in my life , 2 marriages, One divorce, one death........the last was just dating a narcissist..Anyone who knows anything about narcissism knows what a horrible , mentally abusive relationship that was...he was a hoarder, afraid to go out at times, and insulting about my personal and mental self...I left, I went back...numerous times over a 2 year period...I was sleep deprived, angry at myself everytime I went back....I finally left for good almost 3 years ago...it took a lot of time and learning to get through it....I know I kept going back because my husband had passed 8 years before that, I loved him dearly, was very lonely, and stuck with this guy not to be alone, I put up with the insults..leaving and going back constantly because at the time it was better then always being alone....I know longer feel like that....Thank God...
 

David196

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Hello everyone, I promise I’m not using this opportunity to cry on anyone’s shoulder, but I think it’s appropriate. After many years of what was supposed to be “holy matrimony “ I discovered that my wife has been seeing a younger guy. I was crushed and numb and it felt like my world was over. She did tell me that it wasn’t my fault, she just wanted someone younger. As if that was supposed to ease the pain. I will admit that I was feeling sorry for myself at first. But thanks to one of my buddies I snapped out of it. After time, the pain eased up and my wounds healed. I thought I was alright until one of my buddies brought a woman over along with him and his wife. She was very beautiful and we seemed to enjoy each other’s company. Then after going out to eat with my buddy and his wife a couple of times she started talking about getting serious. That night after getting home I started thinking about excuses to give her because I wanted to stop seeing her. Why?! I was having serious trust issues with women. After what I went through there was no way I could trust another woman. I broke our date twice. My buddy and his wife came to see me. I told them about how I was dealing with trust issues. My friend’s wife told me that I could not judge other women by what had happened to me, but I already knew that. But my fear of being done wrong was still there. I mean it was a terrible fear. A fear that gripped me all over. I could not get away from it! Long story short, the beautiful woman that could’ve been mine,( I guess ) I let slide right through my fingers. Yes I learned a very valuable lesson. You must face your fears and deal with them in a way that they never dominate your life. You must live and let live, or you’ll die. PEACE
 

Efbee

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Aug 1, 2021
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Hombourg
Hi everyone,

I'd like to pose a question, based on what I'm going through.

If you realized that you are too lonely to live alone, too scared to start all over again and too nostalgic with good memories, would you leave a relationship that was bad 50% of the time and really good 50% of the time?
Yes I would. I'm not jumping through hoops for 50%. 90% good 10% bad is an acceptable ratio, anything under 90% and it's time to leave.
 

NoxApex(N/A)

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I think that all humans need some kind of relative social interaction, but it doesn't necessarily need to be in a relationship. It could be friends or family, co-workers or an otherwise online or local community.

I also think that most people don't introspect enough to get through the bad parts of introspection in order to get to the good parts of introspection. Which is unfortunate because that's actually how and where you create your own happiness and/or contentment with the external--it begins with making peace with the internal.

Perception is adaptable and changeable. Just as people's food preferences change over time, so do they also change and expand their views and values.

An individual will never be properly satisfied with what they experience externally if they do not have some level of higher internal articulated correlation. The satisfaction can be right there in front of them, but if the wiring in the brain isn't hooked up than it's kind of like a cable box where the plug and A/V cables aren't connected to the television and wall socket.

Because relationships also hold a certain level of personal responsibility for another individuals trust and feelings, I would suggest sorting your head out before being with someone.
 

Oruga

Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2021
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Spain
Hi everyone,

I'd like to pose a question, based on what I'm going through.

If you realized that you are too lonely to live alone, too scared to start all over again and too nostalgic with good memories, would you leave a relationship that was bad 50% of the time and really good 50% of the time?

Of course, I'm having a bad day so my thoughts are all over the map.

PS: If you think I'm whiny or wishy washy, you don't need to reply, it's okay. I'm just trying to figure life out. :(
I would say that "good 50% of the time" doesn't sound good at all! 🙊
 

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