Would you date someone overweight or larger.

[AnonymousMe]

Too bad it's nearly impossible to find people like y'all offline. Not that it matters, but this thread has made more hopeless.

Why hopeless? Everyone here has an offline self.

Whoops, I meant to say that it has made ME more hopeless I've fixed my original post.

 

[Wolfeh]

I'm back and forth on it.

On a purely physical level, big (and tall) guys are a huge turn on for me. I'm not a teeny speck of a lady, so I think the idea of a guy being so huge that I seem tiny in comparison is pretty hot. Plus I like strong men, and a big size often breeds accidental muscles.

On an actual relationship level, it's hard to say. I like the idea of constantly trying to improve yourself. My immediate family consisted of all obese people filled with disease caused by their weight. I can only imagine that those memories would always be in the back of my brain.

Now, if it was a bigger guy TRYING to drop the weight, and actually putting forth effort... sure! I'm all about self improvement. Plus I wouldn't need them to have a six pack. Just being down to a reasonable weight as to avoid physical harm is all I'm asking for.

If I'm in a relationship with someone, I want them to be around for a long time. If you knew you could easily avoid common diseases, wouldn't you want to do your best to do so? If not for yourself, for the sake of your loved ones?

 

[Cavey]

It doesn't really matter to me one way or the other. All the women I have dated (and my ex-wife) were stick thin, but that was never by design. I want someone to love, to share things with, someone that can hold their own in an intelligent conversation, but doesn't need to prove anything to anyone.

I DO think that it's easier for someone of average weight to find someone, but ONLY because they're usually more confident in themselves and confidence is an attractive quality to possess.

 

[SofiasMami]

I would. Why not. Although if someone was morbidly obese and unable to keep up with me on, say, a walk around the neighborhood, I might have an issue with that.
Anyone who says they won't date someone overweight is really limiting their options considering 2/3 of the population (here in the US) are overweight.

-Teresa

 

[TheSkaFish]

So lets be honest if you post. Does the size of the person you might date matter to you? Do you wish them to be slim and fit, if so why? Or do you like a few cuddly curves, if so do you know why?

How overweight or larger are we talking? If we are talking obese, then no, I would not date them. I am not into the obesity fetish and I wouldn't want to promote bad health. I also just don't find that shape appealing.

But if we are talking about simply being curvy or "thick", the hourglass shape, then definitely yes. I am normally pretty reserved when talking about sexual matters, but you asked so I will tell. I very much like a few cuddly curves. You could say I am absolutely wild about curvy girls. Why? They just seem to have a very feminine shape and I find it extremely attractive. Even a little belly fat I find very feminine and therefore sexy. When I think of all the girls I've liked, a few have been on the slim side but I would say most have been curvy. So there you go

 

[ardour]

This topic has potential to hurt some feelings..

If what's meant here is serious obesity, then no. Overweight is fine though.

 

[gabriel20]

A lot of the problem with how +size,curvy,or overweight people are viewed,is down to media hype,and how people should look,and peer pressure,and about how going out with someone who is not stick thin is something to be ashamed of.
Size,just as age difference,colour of skin,gender,etc,nothing should not be a problem,as long as two people like,and care about each other.It really should be about who you are inside,the real you,the person with emotion's and thought's,and feelings.

 

[lmph8885]

I would date someone overweight, but not morbidly obese. I have liked men that are quite overweight. I've also liked men who are underweight.

 

[Serenia]

Thanks for everyone's honest replies. It has been a hot topic in my group of friends lately, which I won't go into why in the open forum, maybe my close friends here might understand why with recent events they are aware of.

Anyway on reflection and reading the responses I was wondering what are peoples threshold. Obviously from quite a few of the responses morbidly obese seems to be a cut off point. Also have you ever surprised yourself at who you have found yourself attracted to?

Just for the record I have had relationships with a slim lanky guy, an underweight guy and an obese guy. I have to say there was one issue with one of them that hindered things slightly, but it wasn't a deal breaker just something to work on. Size for me would only be an issue if there was an immediate threat to health from their size and that person refused to do anything about it.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Also have you ever surprised yourself at who you have found yourself attracted to?

Yes, haha.

It's more of the personality than looks for me. So yes, if I were to be in the dating scene I would date someone overweight. As long as he takes good care of himself and knows a thing or two about staying healthy.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Also have you ever surprised yourself at who you have found yourself attracted to?

Very. I surprised myself a whopping bit. Mainly because I'd never been around anyone who fit into that category. So different, but it works.

 

[Despicable Me]

Too bad it's nearly impossible to find people like y'all offline. Not that it matters, but this thread has made more hopeless.

Why hopeless? Everyone here has an offline self.

Whoops, I meant to say that it has made ME more hopeless I've fixed my original post.

That's what Tealeaf was asking, though.
Why do you feel more hopeless? Even if people like the ones here are hard to find offline they still exist, so that means if you keep looking you can find them. So how could this topic make you feel 'more' hopeless, rather than less hopeless?

I DO think that it's easier for someone of average weight to find someone, but ONLY because they're usually more confident in themselves and confidence is an attractive quality to possess.

The "average" woman in the US is 5' 3" and 166.2 lbs, according to the CDC.
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/body-measurements.htm
I've personally never met a woman who was 5'3" and 166 lbs and was very confident in herself, have you?

I think you may be a little mistaken what the "average" really is.

 

[vixie]

My boyfriend is pretty thin and I love him dearly and find him incredibly attractive. If he gained a lot of weight, just as much I'd love him dearly and find him incredibly attractive.

 

[Cavey]

I DO think that it's easier for someone of average weight to find someone, but ONLY because they're usually more confident in themselves and confidence is an attractive quality to possess.

The "average" woman in the US is 5' 3" and 166.2 lbs, according to the CDC.
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/body-measurements.htm
I've personally never met a woman who was 5'3" and 166 lbs and was very confident in herself, have you?

I think you may be a little mistaken what the "average" really is.

I don't live in the USA. The average here is much lower - although still slightly higher than I would've thought. You can substitute "average" with healthy if it makes you happy?

 

[Despicable Me]

I don't live in the USA. The average here is much lower - although still slightly higher than I would've thought. You can substitute "average" with healthy if it makes you happy?

Well, as you found out, the average anywhere in the world is not all that much different. The US statistics were just easier for me to get.

In any case, I don't think putting "healthy" in to your statement makes it any more true. You're still missing my point, I think. But I'm not going to push the issue anymore.

 

[Cavey]

I don't live in the USA. The average here is much lower - although still slightly higher than I would've thought. You can substitute "average" with healthy if it makes you happy?

Well, as you found out, the average anywhere in the world is not all that much different. The US statistics were just easier for me to get.

The average around the world is actually massively different. The UK average is 5'3 and 152.1lbs. Most places in Europe are far less than that. I'd imagine that most Asian and African countries would be much lower still.

In any case, I don't think putting "healthy" in to your statement makes it any more true.

Why is that? I'd imagine that most people would feel more confident when they consider that they look good and when they're in good physical health.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Anyway on reflection and reading the responses I was wondering what are peoples threshold. Obviously from quite a few of the responses morbidly obese seems to be a cut off point. Also have you ever surprised yourself at who you have found yourself attracted to?

My threshold is due to both health and shape. If someone is very overweight/obese, then it's a health problem so I cut it off at that. Also, because of shape and proportions. If someone is too thin or slim, then they don't have the curves that I like. If someone is too overweight, then they are too much of a round shape and the curves are no longer visible.

I don't mean to say that I only have a problem with obese women. In fact, I don't really get excited by most models and celebrities because they are too thin and not curvy enough for me.

As far as who I found myself attracted to, no, I haven't ever really been surprised by it. I have always liked that shape.

 

[Despicable Me]

In any case, I don't think putting "healthy" in to your statement makes it any more true.

Why is that? I'd imagine that most people would feel more confident when they consider that they look good and when they're in good physical health.

From my personal experience most women have issues with their body-image at what is actually consider a "healthy" weight by standards. What is seen for them as a 'healthy' weight is actually underweight. And this seems to be what the majority of women aim to be for some reason.
And others have experienced the same thing. It's a well known social issue, and is generally accepted to be due to the media. Here's just one article about it that I found on google when doing a quick search: http://www.westminstercollege.edu/myriad/index.cfm?parent=...&detail=4475&content=4795
I'm sure you can do your own research about it if you care to know more.
I'll add that there is also a difference between what is considered a "healthy weight" and what is considered "good physical health". They aren't exactly the same thing.

As for the averages, yes they vary by country, but you're still missing my point. So just forget it, it's not important or even relevant anymore.
My point was simply that whatever you're holding as a standard in your mind does not really seem to match those seen in reality, which is actually very common among many people, both men and women.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Anyway on reflection and reading the responses I was wondering what are peoples threshold. Obviously from quite a few of the responses morbidly obese seems to be a cut off point. Also have you ever surprised yourself at who you have found yourself attracted to?

My threshold is due to both health and shape. If someone is very overweight/obese, then it's a health problem so I cut it off at that. Also, because of shape and proportions. If someone is too thin or slim, then they don't have the curves that I like. If someone is too overweight, then they are too much of a round shape and the curves are no longer visible.

I don't mean to say that I only have a problem with obese women. In fact, I don't really get excited by most models and celebrities because they are too thin and not curvy enough for me.

As far as who I found myself attracted to, no, I haven't ever really been surprised by it. I have always liked that shape.

I've seen some skinny girls that don't have a shape either.

 

[Magalie]

From my personal experience most women have issues with their body-image at what is actually consider a "healthy" weight by standards. What is seen for them as a 'healthy' weight is actually underweight. And this seems to be what the majority of women aim to be for some reason.

I'm one of those women.I feel good about myself when I'm underweight and not my 'healthy' weight.