Bluesamadhi
New member
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2011
- Messages
- 3
- Reaction score
- 0
I am 5 ft.10 I weight 175 pounds.. I am the strongest man pound for pound at Gold's gym in my area. I am built like a proverbial brick shithouse.
I have a white collar career and make more than most of my friends. I love my job.
I have more friends than most people.. there are a lot of people I socialize with on a regular basis, of all ages.. and social classes.
I have a stunning girlfriend, professional.. beautiful.. who loves me dearly.
And yet.. I am lonely. I am pathetic.
I didn't find this forum by accident. I am not posting here because I have nothing better to do.
Let's face it people.. we have a problem. There is no magic number of friends that will make us happy.. there is no magic weight on the scale that we are too scared to look at every morning that will bring us peace. Trust me, there is no salary that will bring us satisfaction for the long term. Our house is on fire and we are looking for the cause.. when the truth is that the arsonist is us. I'm out of options.. I am still alientated. I still cannot relate.. I recognize that the problem is in me, yet I know not what to do about it.. I am desperate.. and I am humbled.. and I have been for a very long time. I am the proverbial moose chasing the carrot on the stick in hopes of finding that which is missing.. But I still havent figured out what 'it' is. I am physically strong yet I am too cowardice to commit suicide. My life is an endless parade of days which mesh together to form a meaningless montage of hopelessness. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the honesty of the posts I view on this site.. and how much it warms me knowing that I am not the only one who feels this way. In a world full of terror, despair, financial crisis and turmoil.. I AM actually SO selfish that I would ask.. where do we go from here?
I have a white collar career and make more than most of my friends. I love my job.
I have more friends than most people.. there are a lot of people I socialize with on a regular basis, of all ages.. and social classes.
I have a stunning girlfriend, professional.. beautiful.. who loves me dearly.
And yet.. I am lonely. I am pathetic.
I didn't find this forum by accident. I am not posting here because I have nothing better to do.
Let's face it people.. we have a problem. There is no magic number of friends that will make us happy.. there is no magic weight on the scale that we are too scared to look at every morning that will bring us peace. Trust me, there is no salary that will bring us satisfaction for the long term. Our house is on fire and we are looking for the cause.. when the truth is that the arsonist is us. I'm out of options.. I am still alientated. I still cannot relate.. I recognize that the problem is in me, yet I know not what to do about it.. I am desperate.. and I am humbled.. and I have been for a very long time. I am the proverbial moose chasing the carrot on the stick in hopes of finding that which is missing.. But I still havent figured out what 'it' is. I am physically strong yet I am too cowardice to commit suicide. My life is an endless parade of days which mesh together to form a meaningless montage of hopelessness. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the honesty of the posts I view on this site.. and how much it warms me knowing that I am not the only one who feels this way. In a world full of terror, despair, financial crisis and turmoil.. I AM actually SO selfish that I would ask.. where do we go from here?