Your thoughts about this kind of friendship? [Important]

[randomdude]

Me and this guy we know each other for 4 ages now and we were hanging alot for last 2 years and we became close, we used to evade school together used to smoke both weed and cigs and it happens that we play same games too. But around 90% of the time he ignores my messages or answer shortly without any logic, rarely answers my phone calls and when he does you can actually feel that he is thinking "OMFG i want this call TO BE OVER". I invited him to my place, invited him to parties, invited him drinking bar, invited him to my birthday also to new year party and he never really invited me to anywhere so far except to hang on the street. He isn't the only friend i have but he is kinda special because we are both interested in same games, music, jokes and lots of stuff. Right now i am thinking what kind of friend ignores you most of the time when we arent together? If you were in my position what would you do?

 

[Drew88]

Lose him, he isn't worth it

 

[VanillaCreme]

Lose him, he isn't worth it

Just because you feel like nothing you have is worth anything, doesn't mean that the rest of the human race has to think the same. I've read at least 3 of your posts today in which you feel the need to share the sorrow-filled sarcasm. Please, if you have nothing real to input into these people trying to share their stories and attempting to express themselves, then refrain yourself from posting something completely pointless.

Anyway, to the OP, I'm sorry that your friend does this to you. Perhaps they only think of some people as a good time. Or maybe they don't have much to do or say to you outside of anything that you've done.

I'd just take it for what it was worth, and hang out with him whenever you feel comfortable doing so. If he doesn't return the same, then you at least had a fun time with him while you could.

 

[Drew88]

Lose him, he isn't worth it

Just because you feel like nothing you have is worth anything, doesn't mean that the rest of the human race has to think the same. I've read at least 3 of your posts today in which you feel the need to share the sorrow-filled sarcasm. Please, if you have nothing real to input into these people trying to share their stories and attempting to express themselves, then refrain yourself from posting something completely pointless.

Anyway, to the OP, I'm sorry that your friend does this to you. Perhaps they only think of some people as a good time. Or maybe they don't have much to do or say to you outside of anything that you've done.

I'd just take it for what it was worth, and hang out with him whenever you feel comfortable doing so. If he doesn't return the same, then you at least had a fun time with him while you could.

Just being realistic.

 

[Toby]

Or maybe they don't have much to do or say to you outside of anything that you've done.

... hang out with him whenever you feel comfortable doing so. If he doesn't return the same, then you at least had a fun time with him while you could.

This.

randomdude, it could just be that he doesn't do much and therefore doesn't have anything to invite you or anyone else to. You've been close with him for 2 years, so you would be able to explain his daily/weekly activities better than us.

When you two do hang out, what sort of vibe do you get from him? Do you feel he genuinely likes your company when you're together? What does he bring to your hangout times? Just because you two share alot of similar interests doesn't automatically mean you're meant to be friends. The guy sounds a bit like a destructive person that isn't good for you but that's just my opinion.

 

[Veruca]

I agree with VanillaCreme and Toby.

Sometimes, we come across people who we really like, whose company we sincerely enjoy, but for some reason, we can't spend as much time with them or they don't feel the same way about us. If you like hanging out with this person, and he treats you with respect, then maybe you have to give as much into the friendship as he does, until he is willing to give more. I mean, like Toby said, there could be many reasons why he's not being as warm and inviting as you have been.

But hey, you sound like you're a good friend, and for all you know, he appreciates you, but doesn't show it

 

[ladyforsaken]

Oh Drew. Come on.

Anyway, yeah, I'm with what Vanilla said. I have friends who are like that too.. and they're supposedly my very close friends. I used to be affected by their behaviours... but then I just let it go because there is nothing I can do to change the way they are.

 

[Drew88]

Oh Drew. Come on.

Anyway, yeah, I'm with what Vanilla said. I have friends who are like that too.. and they're supposedly my very close friends. I used to be affected by their behaviours... but then I just let it go because there is nothing I can do to change the way they are.

sounds like my friends, they don't care. there ago aren't friends.

 

[ladyforsaken]

sounds like my friends, they don't care. there ago aren't friends.

Some friends are just like that. People are different, even though you're friends with somebody doesn't mean you both are so alike that you will want the same things. People behave differently and sees the friendship differently. Take what you can and give what you can, without hurting yourself. Just because they don't do things the way you like doesn't make them less of a friend - unless they do things to deliberately hurt you.

 

[Drew88]

sounds like my friends, they don't care. there ago aren't friends.

Some friends are just like that. People are different, even though you're friends with somebody doesn't mean you both are so alike that you will want the same things. People behave differently and sees the friendship differently. Take what you can and give what you can, without hurting yourself. Just because they don't do things the way you like doesn't make them less of a friend - unless they do things to deliberately hurt you.

friends want to interact with you, check up on you and care. none of my friends do that

 

[Toby]

Some friends are just like that. People are different, even though you're friends with somebody doesn't mean you both are so alike that you will want the same things. People behave differently and sees the friendship differently. Take what you can and give what you can, without hurting yourself. Just because they don't do things the way you like doesn't make them less of a friend - unless they do things to deliberately hurt you.

Yeah and I think sometimes males can be less forthcoming with their real feelings than females. So it may not be necessarily that a friend is not being "friendly" enough but maybe (like alot of us here) they just aren't showing what's really inside. A tough exterior can sometimes hide those true feelings.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Some friends are just like that. People are different, even though you're friends with somebody doesn't mean you both are so alike that you will want the same things. People behave differently and sees the friendship differently. Take what you can and give what you can, without hurting yourself. Just because they don't do things the way you like doesn't make them less of a friend - unless they do things to deliberately hurt you.

Yeah and I think sometimes males can be less forthcoming with their real feelings than females. So it may not be necessarily that a friend is not being "friendly" enough but maybe (like alot of us here) they just aren't showing what's really inside. A tough exterior can sometimes hide those true feelings.

Yeah, exactly.

 

[Tiina63]

Me and this guy we know each other for 4 ages now and we were hanging alot for last 2 years and we became close, we used to evade school together used to smoke both weed and cigs and it happens that we play same games too. But around 90% of the time he ignores my messages or answer shortly without any logic, rarely answers my phone calls and when he does you can actually feel that he is thinking "OMFG i want this call TO BE OVER". I invited him to my place, invited him to parties, invited him drinking bar, invited him to my birthday also to new year party and he never really invited me to anywhere so far except to hang on the street. He isn't the only friend i have but he is kinda special because we are both interested in same games, music, jokes and lots of stuff. Right now i am thinking what kind of friend ignores you most of the time when we arent together? If you were in my position what would you do?

You clearly don't want to let him go, but could you try to make him less important in your life? Maybe sometimes leave it to him to get in touch with you, no matter how long it may take him to get round to it? It can't be doing your self esteem much good if he is ignoring most of your attempts to get in touch with him, and if he can't wait for your phone calls to be over. Maybe you could look for some new friends who share your interests and just keep this friend as an occasional friend ?

 

[randomdude]

Or maybe they don't have much to do or say to you outside of anything that you've done.

... hang out with him whenever you feel comfortable doing so. If he doesn't return the same, then you at least had a fun time with him while you could.

This.

randomdude, it could just be that he doesn't do much and therefore doesn't have anything to invite you or anyone else to. You've been close with him for 2 years, so you would be able to explain his daily/weekly activities better than us.

When you two do hang out, what sort of vibe do you get from him? Do you feel he genuinely likes your company when you're together? What does he bring to your hangout times? Just because you two share alot of similar interests doesn't automatically mean you're meant to be friends. The guy sounds a bit like a destructive person that isn't good for you but that's just my opinion.

Well he do like being around me i can tell that for sure and about hangout time um we always have something to joke about or talk about some serious world problem things or even what is the best way of finding a right solution to some of his or mine problems and talk about which type of girl does he prefer and something like that. This is just an example of the things we talk about. He is the same kind of person that my best friend is except he is more selfish and doesn't know how to say no and when he does he does it in such an insultive way that you ask your self "WTF is with this guy he could just say i cant not i don't ******* care". I am not gay but he is also charmy in a way and his presence simply enhances the atmosphere as my others friends said.

 

[kamya]

Are you an extrovert? My first guess is that he is just super introverted and/or not good at talking or messaging on the phone. I'm extremely introverted and the way he acts is similar to the way I've been known to act. I remember even as recently as a couple of years ago, I would take weeks to answer txts if I even answered them at all. Luckily my friends understood that it was just one of my quirks because I was like that with everybody. I was too in my own world. Luckily that's something I've gotten a lot better at.

And even now I turn down my friends when they want to do something about 90% of the time if it involves going out to a bar/party/club. But they know it's not my scene and that I'm way more comfortable doing my own thing alone. If they want to do just about any other activity though, 90% of the time I am all over that honeysuckle.

Have you brought it up?