A jaguarundi guide to finding someone

[ardour]

Maybe other people will take heed of even 1% of all this and change their lives for the better.

You can't change others, can't control them, make them treat you decently. I'm tired of always being the one expected to carry conversations, while being regarded as unfriendly when I stop after it dawns how one sided it is. Some of the same women who ended up regarding me as cold and distant *never* initiated conversation or showed any interest in my life. Or they avoided me in really obvious, obnoxious ways then got offended when I ceased to care. And this was just being friendly type interaction, nothing more. It never occurred to them that they might have been part of the problem.

 

[Tulip23]

Am I the only one who sees that sees the irony in this thread- a single lady giving advice on finding someone?

*smirk*

Not a helpful comment to make

:club::club::club::club::club::club:

 

[jaguarundi]

Am I the only one who sees that sees the irony in this thread- a single lady giving advice on finding someone?

*smirk*

:club: :club: :club:

[/quote]

I m single from choice. I am quite sure that if I wanted to find someone .. I could. I have been married, and had a long term relationship that I regard with affection, and a reasonable range of affairs. On balance I think I gives me the right to advise on finding someone.

And as far as it goes WWC, you have also made a snippy and hurtful entry on my poetry thread. I know you want to have a bit of fun here, and that is great. But you go too far sometimes. Some things are important to me, as important perhaps as your kid is to you. And have I ever ... Would I ever... make stupid and thoughtless comments about her?

 

[Triple Bogey]

Am I the only one who sees that sees the irony in this thread- a single lady giving advice on finding someone?

*smirk*

at least she is trying to help others. She should be applauded for her efforts !

 

[Nightwing]

Am I the only one who sees that sees the irony in this thread- a single lady giving advice on finding someone?

*smirk*

Surely having found someone in the past is enough experience to qualify someone who is advising those who have had trouble finding even one person to share their life with? You're expressing a foolishly oversimplified comment there. Sometimes that can make good comedy... in this case, it doesn't. Quite a few people are clearly taking her advice seriously. Besides, when it comes to relationships, we've all got something to learn from those around us. Even Jag will admit she can learn from the rest of us. Hell! I learned a little something new on internet dating perspectives from Eve last night. I think I'm quite successful, but I still believe that there's plenty more I can learn. Open your mind, challenge your viewpoints and you'll keep learning. Which links back to exactly what Jag has been saying here!!! There is no failure, merely more feedback and experience which you can learn from. From what I've been seeing on here, there's as much information and advice as possible. I have little doubt that everyone can benefit. Perhaps you should try to focus on that rather than making snarky comments or lashing out at people. It'll make you happier in the long run.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Good God people, lighten the fresia up already! It was merely an amusing observation.

---

Am I the only one who sees that sees the irony in this thread- a single lady giving advice on finding someone?

*smirk*

:club: :club: :club:

I m single from choice. I am quite sure that if I wanted to find someone .. I could. I have been married, and had a long term relationship that I regard with affection, and a reasonable range of affairs. On balance I think I gives me the right to advise on finding someone.

And as far as it goes WWC, you have also made a snippy and hurtful entry on my poetry thread. I know you want to have a bit of fun here, and that is great. But you go too far sometimes. Some things are important to me, as important perhaps as your kid is to you. And have I ever ... Would I ever... make stupid and thoughtless comments about her?
[/quote]

You're over reacting jag- am I to assume a double-standard is in effect regarding having a bit of fun with each other?

 

[TheRealCallie]

And as far as it goes WWC, you have also made a snippy and hurtful entry on my poetry thread. I know you want to have a bit of fun here, and that is great. But you go too far sometimes. Some things are important to me, as important perhaps as your kid is to you. And have I ever ... Would I ever... make stupid and thoughtless comments about her?

NOT cool.....Sorry, but no. I don't care how important your poetry or this thread is to you, equating it to someone's CHILD is going way too far.

 

[Nightwing]

And as far as it goes WWC, you have also made a snippy and hurtful entry on my poetry thread. I know you want to have a bit of fun here, and that is great. But you go too far sometimes. Some things are important to me, as important perhaps as your kid is to you. And have I ever ... Would I ever... make stupid and thoughtless comments about her?

NOT cool.....Sorry, but no. I don't care how important your poetry or this thread is to you, equating it to someone's CHILD is going way too far.

I don't think that's what she's trying to say there.... there's no mention of comparison. It's just a way of expressing how pain can be caused by negative or derisory comments towards something you care about. From where I'm sitting, it looks like an example of where that would apply.

Not sure how things have ended up here. Perhaps we should get back on topic?

 

[EveWasFramed]

*sigh*

 

[jaguarundi]

Ok everyone - I posted what I felt I wanted to say, and I have a right to my feelings, I think. It's great that some of you support this thread, but now lets draw a line under all of this and carry on with what the thread is all about, as suggested by Nightwing.

Ok everyone? Excellent!

I'm glad you appreciate my honesty. Trust me I hesitated to hit send on that post... jags has said specifically she doesn't want moaning in this thread... and that post has lots of moaning in it. but i felt it was important for me to write about those "demons of truth" behind all this... it's not always helpful to keep such things behind closed doors esp. when someone trying to help doesn't have the facts.

I'm just glad jags didn't throw her hands up and say "I quit" after that one!

Now in response to Batman55, I don't find your posts egregiously negative, I believe that you are trying to understand stuff you find difficult for you, and that's ok. Maybe you won't find it helpful, maybe you never will. I hope you do, even a little bit, but in the end what you do is up to you.

 

[Peaches]

Anyway, I like this thread, and looking forward to read more advice.

 

[Grackle]

All help is appreciated.
I went to a tutorial on how using the greenhouse, at my community garden. First impression was 'why does everyone have a friend with them' I always feel its much like cheating when people show up in pairs.

 

[jaguarundi]

All help is appreciated.
I went to a tutorial on how using the greenhouse, at my community garden. First impression was 'why does everyone have a friend with them' I always feel its much like cheating when people show up in pairs.

Interesting test of a relationship. Not watching the tutorial - actually putting the greenhouse up - as a couple. Watching any vicious rows that ensue (similar to Ikea furniture for those who have that) will for a time remind you that there are at least some perks to being single, as the thread says....

 

[Grackle]

Yes, there is that. I have experienced many situations where my heart literally hurt because of my loneliness but when I mingled with people, couples, I had a inner voice admitting what I saw was most unpleasant. A feeling that maybe I'm better off single, lucky to avoid such conflicts in my life. I sometimes wonder if its not loneliness at all, that its another affliction altogether and I just 'think' I'm lonely. idk, so complicated.

 

[jaguarundi]

Yes, there is that. I have experienced many situations where my heart literally hurt because of my loneliness but when I mingled with people, couples, I had a inner voice admitting what I saw was most unpleasant. A feeling that maybe I'm better off single, lucky to avoid such conflicts in my life. I sometimes wonder if its not loneliness at all, that its another affliction altogether and I just 'think' I'm lonely. idk, so complicated.

There can be a bit of 'sour grapes' about watching couples fall out, if one isn't careful, it just leads to cynicism about relationships which isn't helpful. What is helpful is to remind oneself that being alone is better than being in a bad relationship, and that you deserve to find a good one.

 

[Anahita]

I was looking at what everyone said 'bout clothes. I didn't use to like wearing skirts and things that were a bit - more girly, really. I didn't like the idea that men would be thinking of me only as a sex-object and not liking me for my mind, and who I was.

But then someone I respected asked me if I wanted a man to like me for my body as well as for my mind. Did I want my partner to love and desire me? And of course I said I did.

So why not dress up just a bit more, so that you can give men a bit more of clue about how desirable you are? they said.

And I thought about it and it seemed fair enough. And I think it goes for men as well as for women, too.

Anyway that's what I think.

 

[jaguarundi]

Weasels huh, what are they like?​

First they go on strike because they want to have the same dress code as the l'EauNoir private weasel security company who have been lurking outside SkaFish's house. We sorted this and have gone for a Special Forces look..

... Then they no longer want to be rabid, although it turns out a few of the old school weasels still did, so we now have teams of non-rabid laser-guided weasels with rabid weasels attached in a specialist role. And now...

... seems that they have been reading this thread with the Flying Monkeys, so I have the honour to announce that we are expecting a happy event. Several happy events. Either a few little Flying Measels or possibly some Rabid Laser Guided Wonkey Flies. The cigars and champagne are on hand....

In the meantime, while the next episode of the Jaguide is underway, a moment of entertainment...

[youtube]hlNUrMf9yo0[/youtube]

guess what I am going to be talking about next?​

 

[EveWasFramed]

OMFG LOL!!!!!

I laughed out loud. I'm at the gym, on a bike, with people around. Hahahaha

 

[Minus]

... so we now have teams of non-rabid laser-guided weasels ....

Now that you have some non-rabid weasels, you can count me in.

 

[Grackle]

I'm having a hard time understanding all this weasel and flying monkey business. Is it an inside joke ?