I will spend the rest of my life alone.

[Forsaken-Knight]

http://dangerandplay.com/wp-content...How-to-End-a-Life-of-Mediocrity.Final.v03.pdf

 

[ardour]

Skafish:

It's not that these traits aren't desirable (and to a degree necessary to successfully function as an adult). I just can't imagine being in a relationship with someone who lost all interest in me the moment any insecurity was revealed.

A lot of cliches get repeated ad nauseam and so confidence and decisiveness get emphasized over and over again when this topic comes up.

http://dangerandplay.com/wp-content...How-to-End-a-Life-of-Mediocrity.Final.v03.pdf

Flogging some snake oil here I see... can we assume this is Mike someone associated? Neitzche's Ubermensch with "biblical wisdom" is a pretty amusing combination.

 

[Xpendable]

http://dangerandplay.com/wp-content...How-to-End-a-Life-of-Mediocrity.Final.v03.pdf

Nothing more free than a rigid set of rules men should follow to be considered men.

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

Skafish:

It's not that these traits aren't desirable (and to a degree necessary to successfully function as an adult). I just can't imagine being in a relationship with someone who lost all interest in me the moment any insecurity was revealed.

A lot of cliches get repeated ad nauseam and so confidence and decisiveness get emphasized over and over again when this topic comes up.

http://dangerandplay.com/wp-content...How-to-End-a-Life-of-Mediocrity.Final.v03.pdf

Flogging some snake oil here I see... can we assume this is Mike someone associated? Neitzche's Ubermensch with "biblical wisdom" is a pretty amusing combination.

Never met the guy...just like what he had to say. Maybe give some of it a shot. or dont..One thing is certain. Eisenstein's definition of insanity, which is continuing to do the same thing expecting different results. My point is...if you dont like your situation..do effing something to change it. There are some good points here. What would it hurt to try a few?

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Eisenstein's definition of insanity, which is continuing to do the same thing expecting different results.

I always believed directors to be insane.

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

Eisenstein's definition of insanity, which is continuing to do the same thing expecting different results.

I always believed directors to be insane.

i can agree with that...however Albert Eisenstein was not a dictator...scientist.

 

[user 115627]

Eisenstein's definition of insanity, which is continuing to do the same thing expecting different results.

I always believed directors to be insane.

i can agree with that...however Albert Eisenstein was not a dictator...scientist.

#1 His name is Einstein, not Eisenstein.

#2 Director, not dictator (autocorrect probably).

#3 I think Amy made the director reference not in regards to him but to the current movie industry insanity of churning out endless sequels of the same franchise and using the most simplistic overused storyline tropes until the audience grows absolutely oversaturated of the same bile and dies.

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

hahah right on Rodent..Star Wars comes to mind....i re watched the latest movie...Lucas plagiarizes himself repeatedly..but...its just business...

 

[TheSkaFish]

Hey, you said it. Skafish. Most of that is in fact common sense. Or should become common sense for a guy after a point. So yah. Totally agree. Now the problem; not being 90% of those things listed

They are mostly common sense things, or at least appear to be. But for some reason, I didn't get them naturally. The way I was seeing myself, I wasn't getting this stuff. I need this stuff explained to me. I'm still not most of those things either and am working on it, myself.

---

None of that really matters.

The fact that so many guys still cling to what women say instead of facing the obvious truth illustrates why most men will be forever hopeless and miserable in life. You are supposed to learn from failure, not repeat it over and over hoping that one day it will work.

What is the obvious truth though? Anything is better than just laying down and dying.

It's not just what women say they want, either. I've looked at guys who are successful with women and tried to find all the traits they have in common, comparing them to what women say they want, and trying to find where it all matches. It seems to add up.

---

dead on

Thanks man, but none of this is original. These are all things I've seen women say they want on various sites.

---

Skafish:

It's not that these traits aren't desirable (and to a degree necessary to successfully function as an adult). I just can't imagine being in a relationship with someone who lost all interest in me the moment any insecurity was revealed.

A lot of cliches get repeated ad nauseam and so confidence and decisiveness get emphasized over and over again when this topic comes up.

I think the time when it's crucial to minimize insecurities is during the beginning, when you're still getting to know them and trying to attract them. I find that time so weird and contradictory - if you don't think enough, you might make a mistake and botch it. But if you overthink things, you run the risk of botching it anyway. I don't think women are expecting us all to be supermen, but at the same time, I find that I have too many problems and not enough good things for most women to find interesting, even though my problems are relatively tame. I am frustrated with it too - we are all human, we're all dirty, we all have problems and faults of some sort. I too wish women were more understanding. It's hard. I've never had much confidence because I've always been unsure of my place in the world. I've never felt like I belonged anywhere, like anything was my niche. I know that I would feel more confident if I was good at something.

I wouldn't say any of these are cliches though, rather, these are all things I've seen or heard women say they want, either on dating site profiles themselves or on advice sites that talk about dating. Like I said earlier, I also look at guys who are successful with women, see what they have in common, and see where it matches what women say they want to try to make sense of it. And I don't claim to be an expert either - I am still trying to understand it myself, how I can get all those traits but without compromising my values and beliefs. Any time I relate stuff like this, I'm talking to myself as much as anyone. I just thought I'd pass along what I've gleaned, because it's better than giving up on what you want, forgoing the experience of a relationship, and resigning yourself to being forever alone.

 

[Forsaken-Knight]

Hey, you said it. Skafish. Most of that is in fact common sense. Or should become common sense for a guy after a point. So yah. Totally agree. Now the problem; not being 90% of those things listed

They are mostly common sense things, or at least appear to be. But for some reason, I didn't get them naturally. The way I was seeing myself, I wasn't getting this stuff. I need this stuff explained to me. I'm still not most of those things either and am working on it, myself.

---

None of that really matters.

The fact that so many guys still cling to what women say instead of facing the obvious truth illustrates why most men will be forever hopeless and miserable in life. You are supposed to learn from failure, not repeat it over and over hoping that one day it will work.

What is the obvious truth though? Anything is better than just laying down and dying.

It's not just what women say they want, either. I've looked at guys who are successful with women and tried to find all the traits they have in common, comparing them to what women say they want, and trying to find where it all matches. It seems to add up.

---

dead on

Thanks man, but none of this is original. These are all things I've seen women say they want on various sites.

---

Skafish:

It's not that these traits aren't desirable (and to a degree necessary to successfully function as an adult). I just can't imagine being in a relationship with someone who lost all interest in me the moment any insecurity was revealed.

A lot of cliches get repeated ad nauseam and so confidence and decisiveness get emphasized over and over again when this topic comes up.

I think the time when it's crucial to minimize insecurities is during the beginning, when you're still getting to know them and trying to attract them. I find that time so weird and contradictory - if you don't think enough, you might make a mistake and botch it. But if you overthink things, you run the risk of botching it anyway. I don't think women are expecting us all to be supermen, but at the same time, I find that I have too many problems and not enough good things for most women to find interesting, even though my problems are relatively tame. I am frustrated with it too - we are all human, we're all dirty, we all have problems and faults of some sort. I too wish women were more understanding. It's hard. I've never had much confidence because I've always been unsure of my place in the world. I've never felt like I belonged anywhere, like anything was my niche. I know that I would feel more confident if I was good at something.

I wouldn't say any of these are cliches though, rather, these are all things I've seen or heard women say they want, either on dating site profiles themselves or on advice sites that talk about dating. Like I said earlier, I also look at guys who are successful with women, see what they have in common, and see where it matches what women say they want to try to make sense of it. And I don't claim to be an expert either - I am still trying to understand it myself, how I can get all those traits but without compromising my values and beliefs. Any time I relate stuff like this, I'm talking to myself as much as anyone. I just thought I'd pass along what I've gleaned, because it's better than giving up on what you want, forgoing the experience of a relationship, and resigning yourself to being forever alone.

---

---

---

so what traits...have you seen ..do the successful guys have?

 

[Paraiyar]

I don't think women are expecting us all to be supermen, but at the same time, I find that I have too many problems and not enough good things for most women to find interesting, even though my problems are relatively tame. I am frustrated with it too - we are all human, we're all dirty, we all have problems and faults of some sort. I too wish women were more understanding. It's hard. I've never had much confidence because I've always been unsure of my place in the world. I've never felt like I belonged anywhere, like anything was my niche. I know that I would feel more confident if I was good at something.

You say that you want women to be more understanding because we all have faults of some sorts. But haven't you said countless times that you wouldn't date an 'average' girl and that there are about three girls you've met in your life that the rest of the gender will never measure up to?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Eisenstein's definition of insanity, which is continuing to do the same thing expecting different results.

I always believed directors to be insane.

i can agree with that...however Albert Eisenstein was not a dictator...scientist.

#1 His name is Einstein, not Eisenstein.

#2 Director, not dictator (autocorrect probably).

#3 I think Amy made the director reference not in regards to him but to the current movie industry insanity of churning out endless sequels of the same franchise and using the most simplistic overused storyline tropes until the audience grows absolutely oversaturated of the same bile and dies.

Or maybe she was referring to the director named Sergei Eisenstein.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Sorry Rodent. Callie wins this cookie.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Sorry Rodent. Callie wins this cookie.

YAY!!!! A cookie!!!! It better be vegan :club:

 

[TheSkaFish]

so what traits...have you seen ..do the successful guys have?

The ones I listed, basically. It covers what I've seen women say they want, and what I've seen other guys have, that works.

There are other things I have noticed too, but I didn't bother listing them because there are some traits which do a good job of attracting women that I personally don't care for and wouldn't fit with the person I'm trying to be. I'm trying to keep my focus solely on the overlap between the things that work and the things that I would be willing to do.

 

[TheSkaFish]

You say that you want women to be more understanding because we all have faults of some sorts. But haven't you said countless times that you wouldn't date an 'average' girl and that there are about three girls you've met in your life that the rest of the gender will never measure up to?

That's a fair point. I have been thinking lately as I try to sort myself out, that while my feelings haven't changed, maybe it would help if I changed my tone. It's faster and more efficient to describe the girls I don't want to date as "average". It is true in a way, because they tend to have similar interests and personalities, and are even similar in appearance. But it is a little insulting, so maybe I should change it. After all, I don't want to become the very same kind of guy I despise. I'm sure there are a lot of guys who would like to date those girls too, but I am looking for someone a little different.

It's four girls come to think of it, and to me, it will be tough for anyone else to measure up to them in my eyes. And I was aware that they had flaws too, like anyone. I just felt that the good things about them greatly outweighed those flaws. They were just more interesting than me though. I was neither here nor there. I was looking for someone I found more attractive and more interesting than most, but wasn't yet on that level myself. I wanted to be on their level though. I just couldn't figure it out in time.

 

[user 115627]

Sorry Rodent. Callie wins this cookie.

YAY!!!! A cookie!!!! It better be vegan :club:

Darn it...well, if it was only a vegan cookie I can surely live without it. Carry on.

 

[lilE]

I have no friends. Girls don't like me.

I'm soon to be 30 years old. I live alone, I can support myself and all. But no one likes, me, maybe I'm to weak? Maybe I look like a freak when they see me?

I have nothing, I live out each day as if I'm isolated. I understand that it's hard to work from this position, but whu. This is honeysuckle.. Maybe I should just kill myself?

I have no right to be on this earth since I cant spread my genes. It's all about survival of the fittest. That's why girls will taunt me, sleep with my brother and pretend to have a relatiionship with me, pretend to love me.

I understand how you feel, it is very hard, but you are not alone.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

Killing yourself isn't the answer. I know you feel alone right now and feel as if nobody understands you and feel as if you won't meet anyone. Have you ever tried putting yourself out there? There's clubs in you're area I'm sure that you can join and support groups. It's good to find support and perhaps you can find people who can relate with you. You'll start to feel less alone. Even if you go once a week or once every week. If there's a particular subject you like find a class for it. Art classes, yoga class, etc. Just naming a few out there. Do things that make you happy and build yourself up. You'll start to feel a little bit better inside each time you put yourself out there a little. It doesn't have to be all at once either. Maybe you'll meet a girl at one of these classes. A few people told me about a site called: Meet Up. Before you go though make sure it's a safe environment. I'm thinking about trying this myself personally so I can meet people in my area.

You don't have to do this either, just wanted to suggest it: If you thinking of suicide or if it's daily I think it would be best for you to see a Therapist. I'm not sure on your background or things going on in your life. All I know is that you feel lonely and rejected. =( I don't know you at all, but I do care and I mean this. You're more than Welcome to message me if you want. Maybe chatting with someone through messenger will help you. You shouldn't feel alone. People out there do care about you. Please don't do anything rash, there is a lot of hope for you in the future. Don't give up hope. I know it hurts a lot right now and it won't last like this forever. You just have to try to stay strong and I know it's sometimes hard to do this. I hope I helped you in someway. *safe hugs*

 

[Perplexed34]

I think being on the same boat I can relate a bit. In my opinion most successful guys with women have an INDIFFERENT attitude towards them and objectify most of the girls. In addition to that they are not as selective as you are. I even had a former close friend who trained himself to be indifferent around women, mocked them at every opportunity, told his private encounters to a group of alpha males etc. and became sort of a player at the end. He is now much more successful with women than he used to be and he also relocated. You might also consider that maybe.

Apart from that it is true that most women despise indecisive, low self-esteem, loner guys since they are bored by them. You do not want to be friends with a pessimistic guy right? I think this is also similar. Furthermore, if you are in a developing country where sex is frowned upon and there is religious oppression it is natural that you experience these issues. In this case the best solution is to relocate somehow.

There is one more thing: social conditioning. From birth most of the males are conditioned to be NICE GUYS. I.e guys who cater for every need of a girl in the vain hope that she will reciprocate with romantic/sexual interest at the end. The media, novels, soap operas, romantic comedies etc. all bolster this view too. It is really to hard to break from it and see the reality for what it is. I am also a recovering nice guy : and I always complained about why girls went to douchebags, muscle heads, rugy players, CEOs etc. instead of going for a nice guy like me. In order to have that kind of partnership a man has to arouse and elicit admiration from the opposite sex as far as I understood. It is the man's job to look at his strengths and his weaknesses and decide on a lifestyle that suits him.