I see people in relationships a lot and it seems terrible. They're terrible relationships. But I suppose people can get desperate in not wanting to be lonely. It's not so nice. I started thinking that maybe one day I would take a risk and try a relationship. But I'm starting to wonder if that could ever happen to me. I've had sex a few times. It was with people that were actually good looking. Though they were one night stands with people that were under the influence. They'd pick me out, I suppose in their condition they found me to be good enough. Idk, but I didn't have to do anything for it which is good since I don't think I'm the most charismatic person. I doubt any of these people would've wanted me to stay. I've been thinking about this lately, I don't know if people could fall in love with me. Not really at least. It'd probably be someone so desperate for attention that when I complemented them they'd say they were in love(it's happened). I know people can sometimes manage to lie enough to make someone love them, but I don't think I have lying skills that great. I just don't really have the personality someone could fall in love with. I don't even know if I deserve it. I mean I keep a lot of things from psychologists because I'm afraid of them confirming how much of a bad person I am. At the end of the day I am who I am. I'm not very good and the people I have ever had feelings for were good, lovely people. So I suppose I should just come to terms with being alone in terms of romance. Hey Emily Dickinson did it, so it's not so bad right?
Maybe some people just can't be loved.
- Thread starter Arnaert
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2fresh4youx
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If you don't mind me asking, what kind of things do you keep from psychologists? Bad things or embarrassing things?
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
Arnaert said:
It's not good to lie about yourself just to make someone love you. Then that person isn't really in love with you, but in love with a facade. Just be yourself.
Not everyone can hit it off with you. Sometimes it takes knowing hundreds of people to find someone who just clicks well with you. Sometimes pretty quick. I'd like to think it's more of luck or fate.
Anyone's personality is lovable. Even the most negative traits there are. There are still people who could love them. So I'm sure you have a lovable personality, just haven't met the right person yet.
The only way to make changes and improve your life, is to come to terms with your negative traits. Face them and then work on them. Running away or not dealing with them won't make much difference in your life. Maybe when you try to make improvements to yourself, things will start to look up? People will be more interested in you?
AFrozenSoul
Well-known member
Just do what I did. I have accepted that I am trash that makes females become celibate, misandrious cows. All they have to do is have one of their senses interact with me. Then I gave up all hope and am waiting for my cat to die so I can kill myself and get it over with.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
AFrozenSoul said:
kamya
Well-known member
I feel this way a lot. No problem really with women but never been loved by one. I dunno, some of us just aren't lucky. Hopefully someday.
AFrozenSoul
Well-known member
@ladyforsaken: Just because it is sad does not make it any less true. That has been my experience for the past couple of years.
2fresh4youx said:
Bad things. I'm afraid of them confirming that I'm a bad person. I'm afraid of them telling me I have narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder. Because when people find that out they run. Those aren't the disorders people are sympathetic towards, those are the disorders of the ones people think of as "evil".
emptyspace
Active member
Well i'm afraid i might have those too. And yes, people did run, but the few who stayed. They're the ones who are impt. It's nothing to be ashamed of. And it's not as bad as you think it might be. Coming to terms with it and accepting it makes it easier for you to change it if that's what you want.
Yeah, these are those type of disorders that can't really be changed. I want to be thought of as good. I want to be able to be happy. But there really aren't many if any redeeming qualities. I am just a bad person. I lie, I use people, & it's never felt wrong even though I know it is. It upsets me that my lying isn't as good as I'd like for it to be. I could do things that people consider to be good, but it wouldn't be coming from a sincere place, it would be to convince people of an image I want to be portrayed as. No one can love that. It's what I've wanted ever since I was a small child, but idk. I don't know what life is when no one can love you.emptyspace said:
emptyspace
Active member
Arnaert said:
Honestly, that's exactly how i am right now and i'm going through probably the same thing you are. The only difference is, i don't really care if anyone thinks i'm good or bad. If i'm bad, so be it, i'll be good to the right people, people who actually matter to me. And i don't have to lie or pretend to do so, i do it because i want to. And you're right, i don't think it's wrong for me to do so, but i know i hurt innocent people along the way and i'm kinda sorry but i'm not? If you get what i mean.
I get the feeling you stuck in between. Maybe take time off for yourself, reflect, think about what exactly it is you want. It's gonna be difficult to be all that and yet expect people to like you just by pretending/lying. It's gonna kill you. I did it for a long long time and i felt like i was going mad, it gets to you. I gave up eventually and was true to myself for awhile, took the time off, away from everyone to clear my head and think about what i want and now i'm trying to change my perspective and perhaps be a better person, a nicer person at least.
You can change, only if you want to. It's your call really. I hope i helped.
I can relate to you... if you think you'd like to talk, PM me, =)
B
Bones
Guest
You would almost have to be an INTJ due to your posts - is this true?
AFrozenSoul said:
emptyspace said:
See I think I'm worse than you. You say you'll be good to the people you care about. I can be quite bad to the people I care about. It's just not as bad. I still lie to them, just not as much. I still use them, just not as much. My change would be doing "good" things, but I can't change my feelings, I can't change my instincts. I still won't be a good person, just a pretend one.
AFrozenSoul
Well-known member
@Bones: What, I am not sure what you are talking about.
Ak5
Well-known member
Yep. Those who don't give love and are bitter cannot be loved by others.
In a lonely place
Well-known member
ladyforsaken said:
I second this. I think that's what I did. It just took years of work on myself to begin to like myself. But you have to start somewhere, sometime.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
AFrozenSoul said:
I know. I just felt bad for you.
AFrozenSoul
Well-known member
@ladyforsaken: Ah ok then, I just wanted to be sure you understood
