I see people in relationships a lot and it seems terrible. They're terrible relationships. But I suppose people can get desperate in not wanting to be lonely. It's not so nice. I started thinking that maybe one day I would take a risk and try a relationship. But I'm starting to wonder if that could ever happen to me. I've had sex a few times. It was with people that were actually good looking. Though they were one night stands with people that were under the influence. They'd pick me out, I suppose in their condition they found me to be good enough. Idk, but I didn't have to do anything for it which is good since I don't think I'm the most charismatic person. I doubt any of these people would've wanted me to stay. I've been thinking about this lately, I don't know if people could fall in love with me. Not really at least. It'd probably be someone so desperate for attention that when I complemented them they'd say they were in love(it's happened). I know people can sometimes manage to lie enough to make someone love them, but I don't think I have lying skills that great. I just don't really have the personality someone could fall in love with. I don't even know if I deserve it. I mean I keep a lot of things from psychologists because I'm afraid of them confirming how much of a bad person I am. At the end of the day I am who I am. I'm not very good and the people I have ever had feelings for were good, lovely people. So I suppose I should just come to terms with being alone in terms of romance. Hey Emily Dickinson did it, so it's not so bad right?