Thinking about online dating

[EveWasFramed]

I think most people 'make up' profiles.

Ummm....no. I don't think "most people" make up profiles.
If so, then "most people" need to find a more constructive use of their time and stop mind-******* other people. Just sayin...

 

[Batman55]

I think most people 'make up' profiles.

Ummm....no. I don't think "most people" make up profiles.
If so, then "most people" need to find a more constructive use of their time and stop mind-******* other people. Just sayin...

If you read what I wrote carefully, it was more about seeing if changing a couple of (potentially changeable) things would increase the reply rate as in someone writing "hello, how are you?" No time wasted, most replies are very short anyway. In fact I specified *not* to follow up on anyone.

Some people are hopeless when it comes to offline, and have a terrible time online as well.. what do you suggest they do? Just sit there and do the same thing over and over (Einstein insanity theory...), when there's a method out there (like mine) that can help you narrow down the problem?

 

[EveWasFramed]

I think most people 'make up' profiles.

Ummm....no. I don't think "most people" make up profiles.
If so, then "most people" need to find a more constructive use of their time and stop mind-******* other people. Just sayin...

If you read what I wrote carefully, it was more about seeing if changing a couple of (potentially changeable) things would increase the reply rate as in someone writing "hello, how are you?" No time wasted, most replies are very short anyway. In fact I specified *not* to follow up on anyone.

Some people are hopeless when it comes to offline, and have a terrible time online as well.. what do you suggest they do? Just sit there and do the same thing over and over (Einstein insanity theory...), when there's a method out there (like mine) that can help you narrow down the problem?

Honey my comment wasn't aimed at you.
But in reference to what you're saying here, never post anything less than the truth. Someone needs to want to reply to who you ARE - not who you CAN be or who you WANT to be.

 

[Katerina]

I agree. Trust is an important part of any relationship. If someone lies about themselves to get into a relationship with someone I don't imagine it's going to end up going that well.

 

[Triple Bogey]

if anybody wants to waste their time and money with online dating then go ahead

---

I think most people 'make up' profiles.

Ummm....no. I don't think "most people" make up profiles.
If so, then "most people" need to find a more constructive use of their time and stop mind-******* other people. Just sayin...

If you read what I wrote carefully, it was more about seeing if changing a couple of (potentially changeable) things would increase the reply rate as in someone writing "hello, how are you?" No time wasted, most replies are very short anyway. In fact I specified *not* to follow up on anyone.

Some people are hopeless when it comes to offline, and have a terrible time online as well.. what do you suggest they do? Just sit there and do the same thing over and over (Einstein insanity theory...), when there's a method out there (like mine) that can help you narrow down the problem?

Anybody who is looking for love and not getting anywhere - My advice is to stop looking ! - Start living a life, be happy, earn money, make friends, get a job, travel, become a happier person.

 

[ABrokenMan]

One size does not fit all.

I've done / managed to accomplish all of those "options". I'm generally happy, but so tired of being alone, unwanted, not good enough. Decades of that wears on your soul and psyche.

 

[Batman55]

Anybody who is looking for love and not getting anywhere - My advice is to stop looking ! - Start living a life, be happy, earn money, make friends, get a job, travel, become a happier person.

True, this is also important. Maybe my ideas are too "analytical" and not very helpful in the first place. The middle approach is probably best: look but don't actively seek... and avoid analyzing/comparing and such, it'll just drive you batty anyway.

 

[Kataryna25]

I think online dating is not bad idea! I have also recetly started to use some dating services( tinder, https://kovla.com/datings/us , POF) And I can say, that I already have some good dates!So I have some result! You should be careful and pick only safe and reliable services, I hear there are many scammers!

 

[Batman55]

^^ ... Possible advertisement?

:club:

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'm curious as to how this is going for you, Katerina. Hope it's going favourably well at least. I do wish you all the best.

 

[TheWalkingDead]

^^ ... Possible advertisement?

:club:

Very likely!

 

[BeyondShy]

I agree. Trust is an important part of any relationship. If someone lies about themselves to get into a relationship with someone I don't imagine it's going to end up going that well.

I didn't lie on my profile and it didn't do me any good. Maybe I should have lied then at least I would have got my foot in the door.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I think online dating is not bad idea! I have also recetly started to use some dating services( tinder, https://kovla.com/datings/us , POF) And I can say, that I already have some good dates!So I have some result! You should be careful and pick only safe and reliable services, I hear there are many scammers!

Like I said before online dating is for attractive people. It's a good way for them to meet. Nothing wrong with that at all.

People who are unattractive or plain or people who don't look great in photographs, I would suggest meeting people using other ways. eg getting out there, joining clubs, societies etc

 

[Katerina]

Hmm that Kataryna25 post does look like advertising to me too. One post here and the username is kinda similar too.

It would be kind of ironic really if online dating is more for attractive people as most would think that they would have less of an issue dating in the first place and thus less likely to do online dating (although not in all cases). Personally I see it as a method of meeting people and I'm trying to meet people in other ways too - I certainly would feel better about meeting new people without an online component anyway.

As for how the online dating is going for me. I've been messaging a couple of guy back and forth, I might arrange to meet up with one of them soon as I think we're both considering it. Maybe go visit some local art galleries or something. I've had a couple of weird messages sent to me but nothing's been bad thus far.

 

[Tealeaf]

I agree. Trust is an important part of any relationship. If someone lies about themselves to get into a relationship with someone I don't imagine it's going to end up going that well.

I didn't lie on my profile and it didn't do me any good. Maybe I should have lied then at least I would have got my foot in the door.

Maybe with girls who are a bit thick in the head and who still wouldn't like you once the truth came out.

I can tell when people are deliberately misleading me and I permanently discount them from all kinds of relationships for it. I need appealing liars even less than I need people I simply don't find appealing. A common point of view? Who knows, but it's a sensible one.

People aren't very clever deceivers, either, though if you don't look closely or talk much their stories might pass. In my experience they'd bring up a very surface aspect of one of my interests, implying common ground, but when I tried to deepen the conversation I'd find them admitting to Googling everything or giving very surface answers unlike what someone genuine would give. Eventually, they'd admit they were more into a different aspect of the topic or a different topic entirely, anyway, but we should totally talk offsite. How convenient!

In reality, it's incredibly rude of them to waste the time I take out of my day to potentially forge a connection with them by misrepresenting the kind of connection they can offer or are available for. I hope it did piss them off and hurt their self-esteem when I stopped responding, I really do.

 

[BeyondShy]

In reality, it's incredibly rude of them to waste the time I take out of my day to potentially forge a connection with them by misrepresenting the kind of connection they can offer or are available for. I hope it did piss them off and hurt their self-esteem when I stopped responding, I really do.

I hope it did too.

You know I don't see where it will get you if you lie like crazy on those profiles. Isn't the point being that you want to eventually meet up with someone in person?

I got no responses even though before I sent out a message I read their profiles to see if I could pick up on something to write about. One of them mentioned that she watches all of the NCIS shows. I told her so did I and which one of those was her favorite? No response.

 

[Tealeaf]

In reality, it's incredibly rude of them to waste the time I take out of my day to potentially forge a connection with them by misrepresenting the kind of connection they can offer or are available for. I hope it did piss them off and hurt their self-esteem when I stopped responding, I really do.

I hope it did too.

You know I don't see where it will get you if you lie like crazy on those profiles. Isn't the point being that you want to eventually meet up with someone in person?

I got no responses even though before I sent out a message I read their profiles to see if I could pick up on something to write about. One of them mentioned that she watches all of the NCIS shows. I told her so did I and which one of those was her favorite? No response.

I think the line of thinking is, "If I can make them like me now, they'll be too hooked to say no later." Or something similarly unsavory but occasionally true.

No idea why some people don't respond. In some cases it's just a lack of "vibing" with someone despite having surface interests in common, but I've often been surprised to see even people in my same field of work, locale, and life situation ignore me when I reach out when they complain of being lonely. Who knows with some people.

 

[BeyondShy]

I think the line of thinking is, "If I can make them like me now, they'll be too hooked to say no later." Or something similarly unsavory but occasionally true.

No idea why some people don't respond. In some cases it's just a lack of "vibing" with someone despite having surface interests in common, but I've often been surprised to see even people in my same field of work, locale, and life situation ignore me when I reach out when they complain of being lonely. Who knows with some people.

In your case the way I see it it is their loss. With me I made the mistake of analyzing it a lot more and I always came to the conclusion that I did something wrong when in reality it couldn't be further from the truth. I wish it was different that someone reached out but I am not losing sleep over it now.

 

[Katerina]

Just to say that I'm actually meeting up with someone from the site today. So currently super nervous! Not sure how things will go but hey at least it's something.

 

[gabriel20]

Good luck,Katerina,hope thing's work out OK for you.