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Why do people leave ALL?
#1
I've been on ALL for over one month (I admit that it's not very long), but have noticed dozens of nice people leaving for good. Most of them come because of their loneliness. They seem to be happy here at first, saying that they finally found the right place, and then, they disappear suddenly. Someone may say that we are different and have different needs. Some may leave because they were hurt (usually unintentionally) by other members. Whatever springs to mind, I can't find the answer to such a high drop out rate. It's puzzling. Why does it happen then? Can someone do something to change it?
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#2
Maybe they are no longer lonely after having figured out how to be unlonely and then leave as they feel they no longer need the forum?
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#3
I think a lot of people just stumble upon the forum haphazardly and join on a whim, so in many cases they aren't going to be very "committed" to the forum, if they stick around at all. Some people join and don't find much of what they expected, other people are simply fickle by nature and get bored with it easily. I'm sure a good deal of people are turned off by some posts they see on controversial issues and such. Then there is of course interpersonal drama, and some people find themselves too engrossed in the forum, almost like an addiction and feel the need to leave. I've also seen people leave because the social component overwhelmed them somewhat. And some are hesitant at joining to begin with. Many people browse these forums for long periods without joining from a sense of anxiety or an unwillingness to admit the scope of their loneliness, and then have second thoughts once they do join. And finally, with this being a loneliness forum, you would hope that eventually people will shed that state of loneliness and move on with their lives. So on some scale everyone's presence here is generally (and hopefully) transient in nature.


Edit: Also keep in mind the silent population of the forum. More than half the members of ALL have never even made a post. Who knows how they may come and go.
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#4
I first left because I get into arguments too easily in forums. And I just went at it again today, but I'll try not to leave this time, hah.

Also, large groups of people, even in a forum setting, are very mentally draining for me.
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#5
the dark side of forum interaction is the emotional vampirism that is rampant.

at first it's all hugs and kisses.

then it's soul-sucking potshots, innuendos, and inside jokes.

that's why i don't take this place, or any other, seriously.

i post here for my own amusement.

that's it.
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#6
It is because people are transient. They come and go. What're we gonna do? Nail them here? People leave places in real life too. Jobs. School. Classes. Apartments. Houses.

People come and go period.
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#7
There are many reasons why people both come and go from this site.

Everyone is free to do what they feel is best for them at any particular time. Smile
"Before you judge someone, try walking in their shoes for a mile. That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

My porn name: Toothpaste Jackhammer.

A bad Jedi dude
Combs the forums endlessly
Master spam spotter

---minty


There are 10 types of people. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

Founding member of DO-IT (Department of Orgasmic Intervention Tactics)

"Man's Inhumanity To Man
Makes Countless Thousands Mourn."


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#8
Considering it's a random website to most, a lot of people join and never really come back or even post. But those who do stay possibly find their way in life, and feel like they don't need the site anyone. Usually if you're close to someone, you'll keep in contact with them anyway.
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#9
I think it mostly has to do with whether it serves a role; I left the first time when I simply got distracted and was too involved with other things to post.
"The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity...a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe."

John Walter Wayland

“When you can't cheat the game, you'd best find a means to cheat the players.”

Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

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#10
It became kind of like an on line journal to me....
Different experinces...stuff I'll write about my life.
My life had gone through so many changes since I've been on here.
Just becuase I'm a member dosnt necessary mean I'm always lonely or single.
I've been in and out of relationships since Ive on here.
Ive dated wazoooo of women and crazy sexual escapades.lmao

My life have been totally off the the wall sometimes.
Lots...and lots of happy times...lots and lots of terrible times.
Lots and lots of bombshells...stuff I could never concieved of or even
know how to handle. The many challenges life have throwning at me.
Just simply wrote or post my life for what ever it is....
it is what it is....like it or not
Like WTF....imagine waking up oneday and being inform of some of the stuff
I was informed of....LMAO.
Then again...imagine that crazy phase I was going through doing all those women
at the same time.LOL
I never planned any of it.
Like fuck...ramdom you say hahahahaaa

For better or for worse....who the hell knows.
My life had changed...Ive changed as a person.

It's kind of a record that I have of myself.
Plus writing some of the stuff i go through is kind of theraputic for me.
I'm going through a lot at the moment too. At the sametime there's been mirracle
and lots of healing at a very, very deep personal level.

so for me...it's also kind of like...not being ashame anymore...
as in ashame of posting on here or being a member or ashame of living.
Im not ashame of myself. Surely I'm not ashame of the ones I love.
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