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Inescapable loneliness
#1
I've been lonely for so long that I feel like there's no escape  Sad. I'm 30, never had a relationship & always been a recluse. I'm always in my room & I've been that way since I was a kid. I go out to attend appointments & volunteering but that's about it. I don't even go downstairs unless my dinner or to make a cup of tea which I take to my room. I suffer with deep depression & low self esteem which i guess is inevitable from this secluded lifestyle. I'm not even bad looking but I'm insecure about being 5'5 & I have a big nose. I have a lot of positive qualities which is reflected in the youth volunteering I've started doing. 

I've had 3 lots of positive feedback so far after 6 sessions supporting kids in activities. I'm just so lonely & it hurts so much  Sad. I've often been crying in public toilets, even in a room full of people like nightclubs. Even when I went Turkey in 2017 with 8 other people, the loneliness was still consuming me. I've just started taking Duloxitine which is my 1st anti depressant for over a year & half. Anyway I'm sure you're bored of reading these self pitying posts by now. This is a cry for help more than anythin..
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#2
Hello.
I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before. 😊
Sorry to hear about your troubles. 
Wanted to say welcome! I hope you’ll like it here with us. 🌸
So what have you been up to today?
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#3
Welcome

Sorry about ur life. Ur post is not boring!
I have  big nose as well. I'm also a recluse and 5'5. I mainly chill on the couch in the living room instead of my room. 


[Image: tenor.gif?itemid=8723720]
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#4
Depression and isolation are a really tough double whammy that feed off each other. Too much time alone makes you feel down. Feeling down makes you want to be alone. I think people in this position can also be in a mindset that makes them feel more alone than others in the same setting, ex. No one will like me, I'm too different, etc. Not sure if it's the case for you.

Breaking that cycle is a lot more complex than a single answer, but places to go socialize and finding the right medication is a step in the right direction.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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#5
(08-20-2019, 05:27 AM)MissBehave Wrote: Hello.
I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before. 😊
Sorry to hear about your troubles. 
Wanted to say welcome! I hope you’ll like it here with us. 🌸
So what have you been up to today?
ha I'm new to this forum. You seem really friendly & I hope you can relate in some way Shy . I haven't done anythin today except my usual routine: make a sandwich, cup of tea & catch up on soaps. That's my routine everyday lol. Tommorow I'm volunteering at the youth club again with the kids which I do every Wednesday & Friday so that's somethin I guess.

(08-20-2019, 07:17 AM)ahsatan Wrote: Welcome

Sorry about ur life. Ur post is not boring!
I have  big nose as well. I'm also a recluse and 5'5. I mainly chill on the couch in the living room instead of my room. 


[Image: tenor.gif?itemid=8723720]
Thank you, I certainly need a hug  Rolleyes. We all need affection in our lives but when your lonely it's hard to meet even the most basic need. It's ironic that we have similar physical traits lol. I have nice eyes & quite fit but I'm so insecure about being 5'5 with a roman nose. From the side it sticks out like a sore thumb which makes me really self conscious, especially in this shallow society. Do you feel the same?.
(08-20-2019, 12:50 PM)Tealeaf Wrote: Depression and isolation are a really tough double whammy that feed off each other. Too much time alone makes you feel down. Feeling down makes you want to be alone. I think people in this position can also be in a mindset that makes them feel more alone than others in the same setting, ex. No one will like me, I'm too different, etc. Not sure if it's the case for you.

Breaking that cycle is a lot more complex than a single answer, but places to go socialize and finding the right medication is a step in the right direction.

ye your right & my problem is that it's been going on for a period of years, in fact I've always been secluded. I've boxed myself into this shell of an existence & it's hard to break free. I've made practical steps this year by attending a meetup group. The members are older than me in their 40s, 50s etc but they seem friendly. And recently I started volunteering at a youth club where there's lots of people to meet. I've been doing well with the kids judging from positive feedback but I'm still very insecure about what people think of me. I'm desperate to make friends from it who I can hang out with but I fear rejection  Sad. I'm desperate for a relationship as I've never had 1. When I see others with families & a loving wife it really triggers my loneliness. I've started on Duloxitine as mentioned which makes feel a bit sleepy but need to give them 2 weeks to start to kick in.
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#6
Yes I god damn hate my profile. I'm very self conscious. Most people have normal noses which is not fair. I got my grandma's Ukrainian large  nose with a bump .  Society sux. I don't even like my eyes! My eyes are like small. My lips are nice and i'm skinny which I like  but everything else I hate. 
Here's another hug! lol

[Image: cat-cute-hug-typography-Favim.com-160090.jpg]
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#7
(08-20-2019, 04:55 AM)SilentSoul89 Wrote: I've been lonely for so long that I feel like there's no escape  Sad. I'm 30, never had a relationship & always been a recluse. I'm always in my room & I've been that way since I was a kid. I go out to attend appointments & volunteering but that's about it. I don't even go downstairs unless my dinner or to make a cup of tea which I take to my room. I suffer with deep depression & low self esteem which i guess is inevitable from this secluded lifestyle. I'm not even bad looking but I'm insecure about being 5'5 & I have a big nose. I have a lot of positive qualities which is reflected in the youth volunteering I've started doing. 

I've had 3 lots of positive feedback so far after 6 sessions supporting kids in activities. I'm just so lonely & it hurts so much  Sad. I've often been crying in public toilets, even in a room full of people like nightclubs. Even when I went Turkey in 2017 with 8 other people, the loneliness was still consuming me. I've just started taking Duloxitine which is my 1st anti depressant for over a year & half. Anyway I'm sure you're bored of reading these self pitying posts by now. This is a cry for help more than anythin..

I too am a recluse and often spend all of my time in my bedroom. Never having had a relationship either, sure it sucks, and the worst part is that means you're inexperienced too, which is never good unfortunately. The only thing I have to offer you right now, is my friendship. If you want it of course!

Feel free to message me directly.
Regards.
The loneliest people are the kindest.
The saddest people smile the brightest.
The most damaged people are the wisest.
All because they do not wish to see others suffer the way they do.


It takes the smartest individuals to realize there is always more to learn.


“The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace.” Mahatma Gandhi.
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#8
When your lonely there's a pressure to try & get someones contact details as you never know when you'll see therm again. I've been chattin to some girl at the youth club but we only see each other every Wednesday as I do Wed & Fri. How can you tell if someone likes you or not? And when is the right time to ask them to hang out?. I fear rejection like everyone else because it's humiliating & embarrassing. And a rejection also compromises future conversations by makin it awkward. My loneliness has made me so desperate which I'm tryin my best to hide & be as natural as possible. I just want someone to hang out with as I've never had a proper girlfriend. I can go to bars with my cousin whenever I want but he can be aggressive when hes had a drink..
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#9
I think the level of embarrassment that comes from rejection can be controlled, at least to the point where you don’t show it. If you act easy going, relaxed, confident and friendly towards the person that rejected you, then you don’t have to struggle with the whole “oh shit I made an ass out of myself” and you can more easily continue the friendship. 
A part of the dating scene is to accept that there are gonna be rejection to deal with. That’s just how it is for most people. 
As far as if it’s the right time, I have no idea. I guess this depends on so many different factors that there isn’t a standard answer. Well, maybe when you see her relax a little around you? 
I hope you score. 🌸
[Image: tenor.gif]
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#10
Something to consider, given you met at a youth center:

How old is she?
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