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The Isolation
The depression is so severe that it is scaring me. I am concerned about how bad I am getting. And I feel so isolated like I am going through this all by myself; nobody understand or cares. This is hell and I feel scared, despondent, useless, worthless, and like I'm already dead, like I'm not human anymore.

Its terrible what you are going through and a lot of other people have experienced the same feelings. Sometimes it is good just to go to bed and sleep until morning then get up and start another day believe or not things change during that time of rest and it gets you stronger for the next day. Its usually when a person does not have a support system that will help or they have completely given up and bring up terrible moments from the past. At this time you need just to take day by day and have time to figure out what kind of help is out there for you in order to help you with this feeling so bad and I do care as well as other people who will come on this thread tomorrow to offer their wise communication. Have a cup of tea or cocoa or whatever you like take a nice shower or bath and hit the pillow and put yourself down for a nice nights sleep to give you and others more time to figure this all out...Sweet Dreams new forum friend--sweet dreams....priscella.
Thank you for your encouragement. I have no support system at the moment. Nor do I have friends or a social life. I live by myself. I am literally alone and isolated.

Well welcome to the club I am too and it gets real hard at times. I figure as I get older I get more observant or something and I become more picky with friends---like for instance--one friend I dropped because she was just stupid and another I dropped because she did not give one shit about me and had her support system to where I had none. Another friend was the wrong political party and could not see common sense and believe me I could go on and on and all this takes its toll and one gets depressed blaming it all on themselves---but let me tell you---down the road when things get a bit better you see the light and know the true answers on why you had to give up the friendships and it always works out better in the end--trust me---better in the end....priscella..
Hey lile listen to this stuff for I am sitting here eating cookies and for years I walked by these cookies because they were in a metal container thinking it was just for show and I would most likely end up with metal poisoning--lol. So today I bought two of these containers of cookies because I need the metal cans for storing screws and nails in them and guess what---Every once in awhile life throws you a favor and these cookies are just delicious but I am eating the whole damn can so I have to control myself and stop eating them...Terrible I have to stop eating these cookies--life is hard....Have a good night sleep and I am going to beddy by too and sweet dreams new forum friend...priscella.
(09-04-2020, 03:13 PM)lilE Wrote: I have no support system at the moment. Nor do I have friends or a social life. I live by myself. I am literally alone and isolated.

Same here. I usually go weeks without speaking because there is no one for me to speak too. I think I've gone nearly two months one time without speaking at all. The only time I speak is to convey a quick message at the grocery store, Walmart, or Home Depot. Once in awhile someone will speak to me. But, now with wearing masks I don't even feel like making the effort to move my lips. So, I just raise my eye brows or nod to acknowledge the person so they don't get mad at me for ignoring them. When I do speak I have to clear my throat. It takes effort and it's kind of annoying.

Generally I don't like people so it doesn't both me. Sometimes I wonder if at some point I'll loose the ability to speak. It'll be no real loss for me. I would actually like to be deaf too. There is so much noise pollution especially car stereos and barking dogs that it drives me crazy. I checked into getting my ear drums removed. But, there's a high probability that I won't be deaf. I'll just hear even more ringing then I do now. So, I'll just have to deal with all the BS noise because law enforcement and the city chooses to ignore the problem.

In time being alone will become normal for you, then it won't bother you much. You'll stop thinking about it. That really is the key. The more you think about it the more it bothers you. Then you think about it more. Then you think about how everybody else has someone except you, which isn't true. There are a lot of lonely people and people that are alone. 

Lonely people try to occupy their time to keep from thinking about it. Some watch tons of movies, enjoy hobbies, or learn something new. Drinking and drugging only makes things worse so avoid that trap.

Exercise is a great thing. From what others have said on here I'm depressed but am in denial. I looked it up and it's probably true. But, I'm healthy and in good shape. I eat well and exercise regularly. So, I usually feel pretty good. Sometimes I think why do I feel so good when the world sucks so much. Ha! ha! 

After awhile you'll appreciate being alone. There are MANY advantages to it. Some are fine just having pets. But, I don't even want those. I really don't think I could ever live with another person again. It is so nice to do whatever I want, whenever I want, without any pressure to do or not do something. I come and go as I please without needing to check in with anybody. If I get home late it doesn't matter. The initial stages on being alone were somewhat difficult though. Once in awhile I think about being alone then I realize all the BS I don't have to deal with and get a big smile on my face.

But, if you get to a really bad point seek help. You'll get some happy pills, tricks to stave off depression, and counseling. Other users on this site have done that and it's work well for them.

(09-04-2020, 03:26 PM)priscella Wrote: I figure as I get older ............
Is that even possible? Ha! ha!
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