15 signs that a man has never had a girlfriend

[ardour]

Almost every female peer I've known has interrogated me about it at some stage. While under no circumstances would they ever consider going out with me, they still end up asking "so do you have a girlfriend yet?"

That's because they care and have my interests at heart, right... right? Not really. They're embarrassed to be associated with such a guy, that's why they want the situation to change.
It's a hurdle, is all I'm saying.

 

[9006]

Okay, serious note...

How can a girl tell a guy has never had a girlfriend? Social cues? Looks?

Does it matter? If some girl suspected this about me, I wouldn't really care about that.

 

[theglasscell]

Rdor. If these female friends are judging you over stuff like that and making you feel bad about it then maybe they aren't very good friends. That just seems very nosy to me.

I have a female co-worker who is a d-bag and she has asked me about that sort of thing before or just asked nosy questions in general. But I avoid her.

In general the female friends I have don't ask me about my dating life, and sometimes get annoyed if I bring up bad dates or anything like that.

If your friends make you feel bad about yourself you have no obligation to associate with them. There's always better people out there. Or maybe their curiosity is because they are interested in you. Maybe they want to know because they might want to date you.

How do you know they would never consider going out with you? Have you ever asked them directly? Invited them out on a date?

 

[Runciter]

Almost every female peer I've known has interrogated me about it at some stage. Of course, under no circumstances would they ever consider going out with me, but still end up asking "so do you have a girlfriend yet?"

That's because they care and have my interests at heart, right... right? Not really. They're embarrassed to be associated with such a guy so they want the situation to change.
It's a hurdle, is all I'm saying.

Self-deprecation isn't an attractive quality in anyone. Who cares what they think or what their motive is?

Self-respect and confidence to be yourself are the two greatest assets anyone can have when looking for that someone special.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Almost every female peer I've known has interrogated me about it at some stage. Of course, under no circumstances would they ever consider going out with me, but still end up asking "so do you have a girlfriend yet?" over and over.

That's because they care and have my interests at heart, right... right? Not really. They're embarrassed to be associated with such a guy so they want the situation to change.
It's a hurdle, is all I'm saying.

Well, I'm sorry that's all you've experienced. I'd suggest a disconnect from anyone - female or male - who is so quick to jump on your case. We're not all supposed to be millionaires, or be married by age 20, or anything else. Although, it never upset me when I wasn't with someone, I would tell people that I'm not interested. And I wasn't interested in being with anyone for a good while. Now, I get that question of when I'm marrying Jeremy.

However, whatever your answer is, truth or not, if someone dismisses you based on you saying certain things, then like I said before... They probably weren't worth your time to start with. Genuine interest in someone isn't based on something like that.

 

[ardour]

How do you know they would never consider going out with you? Have you ever asked them directly? Invited them out on a date?

No, I'm gross. They say it out of embarrassment, and maybe subconsciously they have this fear that I'm attracted to them. Actually I think that's it.

Generally speaking, most women are wary of men who have not been validated by attention from other women.

Edit: ... and there's no such thing as a subconscious paranoia, what a silly bear.

 

[theglasscell]

Don't think in generalizations all the time. "Most women", all women and men are different.

You can't look to other people for validation. Nobody else can ever validate you.

Your self-esteem always comes from the inside, it's not from external things.

 

[Runciter]

No, I'm gross. They say it out of embarrassment, and maybe subconsciously they have this paranoid fear that I'm attracted to them. Actually I think that's it.

This is the the biggest factor as to why you're having so much trouble. You need to change your attitude. If you think you're gross you're going to project that to every woman you meet.

 

[Locke]

No, I'm gross. They say it out of embarrassment, and maybe subconsciously they have this fear that I'm attracted to them. Actually I think that's it.

Generally speaking, most women are wary of men who have not been validated by attention from other women.

Generalizations like this will do you more harm than good. The sooner you realise that all women are different, the better off you'll be.

I'm sorry if you have been treated badly by women, but that does not mean they will all treat you like that. If anyone tries to take your self esteem, don't let them. It is your self esteem and your job to stay happy. People who treat you poorly are not worth your time, and treating yourself so badly by saying that you're "gross" definitely isn't worth it.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I don't think I'm gross, but I think I'm shy...which is much, much worse than being ugly. How can anybody get to know you if you can't talk to them?

 

[Runciter]

I don't think I'm gross, but I think I'm shy...which is much, much worse than being ugly. How can anybody get to know you if you can't talk to them?

Best solution? Throw yourself into a situation where you have no option but to address your shyness and have no way of escaping. A couple of months volunteering to help build a school in Africa would be a great way, of course there are a lot of less extreme examples. It may sound silly but maybe salsa classes? You haven't got much of a choice about being shy when you're holding a complete stranger while making yourself look stupid which your terrible dance moves. I'm sure that would give you some more confidence talking to ladies.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Good advice. Maybe toastmasters?

 

[murmi97]

I actually think one or two of the things on that list are good qualities that should be a sign he has had previous relationships; hobbies without social interaction for instance. Boys that are taught to fish or even cook, like the one in the picture, are often taught by dads and grandads or other elders. If shallow people like the list's author haven't gotten to them, they are generally the right kind of aloof - it's nice even just knowing a guy that may be kind as can be, but also that has that air that he can live, perhaps even thrive without being "liked" or having the "status" mentioned earlier in the thread. In fact the only ones on that list that'd bad in my perspective are the furniture one and the spicy cuisine one, but as long as he hasn't eaten something stupid, I'd probably be more than happy to sit on his lap.

 

[Runciter]

Boys that are taught to fish or even cook, like the one in the picture, are often taught by dads and grandads or other elders.

The truth. I have very fond memories of fishing with my dad and uncle when I was a boy, it taught me the virtue of patience. I was also conscripted by my mother from a very young age to prep vegetables for her while she was cooking. All of my other hobbies are all solitary pursuits and yet I have been lucky enough to have a few decent girlfriends.

My approach to women is strange, I very rarely instigate flirtations with a woman and I dislike talking about myself to them in person. I think it often makes me appear more mysterious and attracts certain women to me. Of course it doesn't work on all women but the women it does work for tend to be well suited for me.

 

[theglasscell]

The problem with lists like these is that any vapid moron can post something like this that they know will generate hits.

It takes five seconds to make a stupid blog or site like that. It's just like Thoughtcatalog.

In the old days we got all our stupid pointless information from magazines but at least those had some form of quality control. Now any idiot can post their ignorant views online for the world to see.

You may as well go to the nearest junior high and ask a 15 year old boy for advice on love and life, he'd probably have a lot more wisdom than the type of person who writes lists like these.

 

[Locke]

I didn't read the list at first, I knew it would be stupid, and now I'm sorry I did. That was some of the most shallow bullsh*t I have ever read. I know the author probably wasn't serious, but the fact that she even thought up that stuff makes me think she's an idiot.

 

[Runciter]

I didn't read the list at first, I knew it would be stupid, and now I'm sorry I did. That was some of the most shallow bullsh*t I have ever read. I know the author probably wasn't serious, but the fact that she even thought up that stuff makes me think she's an idiot.

The fact that she is making a list on how to tell if a guy has had a girlfriend proves she's an idiot. She should have asked me for help, I would have sent her this:

Runciters how to tell if a guy has had a boyfriend list.
1. Ask him
2. Listen to his answer
3. Return to the cave you crawled out of

 

[theglasscell]

See, that's actually funny.

The most ridiculous question I've been asked recently was by a gay guy I met at a party. He was like "So are you straight?" And I said "Yeah", then he was like "But are you 100% straight?"

The only reason I think he thought I was gay was because I'd been going on about how Katy Perry was the best singer ever and he must have taken it the wrong way. I don't think that many straight men love her for her music.

 

[Locke]

See, that's actually funny.

The most ridiculous question I've been asked recently was by a gay guy I met at a party. He was like "So are you straight?" And I said "Yeah", then he was like "But are you 100% straight?"

The only reason I think he thought I was gay was because I'd been going on about how Katy Perry was the best singer ever and he must have taken it the wrong way. I don't think that many straight men love her for her music.

Katy Perry is a musician!? I've been googling her for different reasons....

Crap, now I'm being shallow.

 

[theglasscell]

I don't know if it's shallow. She looks good, there's no getting around that.

I think it's shallow when people say she's ugly without make up or attack her for her looks.

There's nothing wrong with appreciating how beautiful she is.