A couple of questions...

[fuzzybutt]

I don't know for how long I'm gonna feel down right now.
But for you guys, if suddenly life started getting better, would you come back to forums like these to like I don't know...help people out? Maybe look back at a part of your life to see what you were like, or just to be aware of people and their problems and that not everything is happy and dandy everywhere?

Also I've posted this before but I have a problem with social anxiety. And I've mostly got my mind set on overcoming it. I've got a plan that includes more exercise, a better diet, and natural remedies to relax along with some prescription drugs.

But Because the keyword is "social" that's obviously going to involve people. I haven't seen a lot of my friends in more than a year, some in many years. I have a lot of those friends on Facebook. I have some friends who are mostly anti social and I was thinking of probably helping them along as I help myself.

But then there's the friends who are social. I need to reassess who my real friends are. This means opening up to them. I have a slight fear that if I try explaining my problem to them they may cast me out as weird and I'm gonna prepare myself for that. Because what are friends for anyways if they won't help you with these issues?

So how do I go about doing this without coming off as a person seeking a therapist? You know, try to reach old friends without looking like "he's only gonna talk to me when he's in trouble" kind of guy?'

Edit: Also, besides my sister, I only have one friend right now who I can talk about these deep issues, and she's been ignoring my calls and texts for about a week now.

 

[mylifebytears]

I've never had social anxiety, maybe shyness, but I do understand you as far as when people start ignoring your calls. It's been only a week though, give it more time. Real friends will be there for you when you need them, and if they don't understand or don't support you in this problem that you have, then it's not worth being friends with those people. Those small steps that you want to take sound really good, and I really hope you can start fighting social anxiety one step at a time Never give up!

 

[Fierce Invalid]

I can totally relate to you, 'chacho. I may not know have a grasp to how you feel exactly but I think I see where you're coming from and what you're wanted to expect out of others and out of yourself.

I too have problems interacting socially. I've spent much of my time bent on trying to decipher it, trying to pinpoint its origins in hopes that if I can find a root of the matter, I can simply sever it and all will be well in the world. I've abandoned this method in favours of a simpler approach: interacting socially.

Granted it siunds a helluva lot easier than the actual act itself, but social interaction is like any other skill: you can only hone it and get better through constant exposure and experience. Expose yourself to new things, start your doing something different, think outside the box. Take a different route to school or work or go out on walks, anything that exceeds your comfort zone. Take a risk or two. Order the tilapia. Lol!

These friends of yours, umm.. If your friends drifted further and further away throughout the passage of time, they may not have been good friends or as good as you thought they were. I know from personal experience that whenever I have a friend, a genuine one, I make an honest effort to seek them out from time to time and they occasionally return the favour. What I'm getting at is that perhaps it's time to cast away these old alliances and start looking towards surrounding yourself with new ones, especially if you don't even feel comfortable enough with the ones you have to confide in them to some extent. Friends don't make other friends feel that way. Those are called acquaintances (or those mormon missionaries who ride those bikes in wal-mart parking lots).

Seems like you need to surround yourself with people who know you for who you are, accept you for it, and are relentlessly supporting in your endeavours and aspirations.

I'm sorry about that one of friend of yours who appears to be ignoring you. If it makes you feel better, my door is always open if you need someone to vent or talk to. I wish you luck in your goals!

 

[fuzzybutt]

Well thanks Fierce Invalid. Your post was very informative. I guess if I ever really need to vent I'll send you a pm. But yea I am determined to get rid of this shell. I've already started chatting with one of my newer friends from a job I had recently and I'm feeling good about her.

 

[Fierce Invalid]

Well thanks Fierce Invalid. Your post was very informative. I guess if I ever really need to vent I'll send you a pm. But yea I am determined to get rid of this shell. I've already started chatting with one of my newer friends from a job I had recently and I'm feeling good about her.

Well, good for you, man! That's the sort of stuff we like to hear and read at the Lonely Life forums. Can I get an amen? Can I get a Gawd bomb?

You and me both about this shell. I've a lot of friends at my workplace, but I still feel miserable all the time. I feel this is because I don't work at a very prestigous place, and the regulars who work there don't aspire to anything beyond the job they carry now. I'm merely using my workplace as a stepping stone until I finally be admitted into the military. But these people I interact daily are not on the same level as me (and I don't mean that in an egotistical way). I don't believe I'm superior to any of them, but I know that I don't intend on working here forever and that my future lies elsewhere on another, higher rung of the ladder of life. Our mentalities are on opposite ends of spectrum, and for this reason alone I cannot relate. Don't get me wrong, I work with some of the nicest, friendliest people I know . . . but they just can't connect with me on the same level, and that prevents the bond from sticking. I think.

 

[fuzzybutt]

Well thanks Fierce Invalid. Your post was very informative. I guess if I ever really need to vent I'll send you a pm. But yea I am determined to get rid of this shell. I've already started chatting with one of my newer friends from a job I had recently and I'm feeling good about her.

Well, good for you, man! That's the sort of stuff we like to hear and read at the Lonely Life forums. Can I get an amen? Can I get a Gawd bomb?

You and me both about this shell. I've a lot of friends at my workplace, but I still feel miserable all the time. I feel this is because I don't work at a very prestigous place, and the regulars who work there don't aspire to anything beyond the job they carry now. I'm merely using my workplace as a stepping stone until I finally be admitted into the military. But these people I interact daily are not on the same level as me (and I don't mean that in an egotistical way). I don't believe I'm superior to any of them, but I know that I don't intend on working here forever and that my future lies elsewhere on another, higher rung of the ladder of life. Our mentalities are on opposite ends of spectrum, and for this reason alone I cannot relate. Don't get me wrong, I work with some of the nicest, friendliest people I know . . . but they just can't connect with me on the same level, and that prevents the bond from sticking. I think.

I'm sorry to hear that. Well to be fair I'm not one who goes out looking for a job to make friends. Though making friends at work makes the job easier if you can talk to someone about it.

I am a pretty social person at work and school mainly because it's always the same thing everyday and I get comfortable with my workmates. However when it comes to meeting them outside of work and school I stress out. That's why I am doing what I had mentioned. Live a more healthy life style to fight the stress produced by anxiety and be the same person I am at work and school whenever I go out. Take it one step at a time by first finding people I can actually talk to so they can show a bit more compassion.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

My life had changed a lot since i first logged on here.
I dont have social anxiety anymore.
It had been a journey.
People helped , but i also had to help
Myself and do plenty of foot work.
I also did a lot of reserch.
Opened my mind to new ideas.

I went through very stages and
Mafe progress as went.

I interacted with people in the
Chat room..eventually people
convinced me to go outside everyday.
yes, very basic....

Eventaully i started attending support groups. Then returned to work.
Then started going out with my friends.
Then started dating.

Im in a relationship, now.
This too is a process.

 

[fuzzybutt]

My life had changed a lot since i first logged on here.
I dont have social anxiety anymore.
It had been a journey.
People helped , but i also had to help
Myself and do plenty of foot work.
I also did a lot of reserch.
Opened my mind to new ideas.

I went through very stages and
Mafe progress as went.

I interacted with people in the
Chat room..eventually people
convinced me to go outside everyday.
yes, very basic....

Eventaully i started attending support groups. Then returned to work.
Then started going out with my friends.
Then started dating.

Im in a relationship, now.
This too is a process.

Dude that's awesome. I hope I have the same success as you in the next few months. Although I hope I don't end up typing my posts the way you do. I literally thought you wrote a song/poem for me

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Yes, i also had to live a healthier
Life style.
I started taking walks at a local park.
Which also help me to be expose to
People. Then i statted jogging and
Weight lifting. Plus i enjoy riding my
Bicycle...any to break the cycle
Of cycle isolation.
i also take vitamins B6 and B12 to
help maintain a good mood.

There wasn't a silver bullet.
It was a combination of everything.

---

lol...
If you go back and read my first
10 to 30 posts....
I was a major wreack.
I see plenty of progress.