Aggressive VS. Passive

[JustIncubus]

So recently I had my birthday and I went into the city and feeling a little brave I asked out this really cute waitress, I was all suave and debonair, handed her a note with my number and to my surprise she texted me that night and we went for drinks the next night. We had an amazing time and I really felt happy with her. She looked gorgeous and we had all the same interests blah blah blah, he favorite band WAS INCUBUS AND I FLIPPED OUT AT THE TABLE for 5 seconds, all in all it was a great time and she said she wanted to go out again after the date had basically ended.

The next morning I receive a message from her stating that she doesn't think we are a romantic match and she prefer a platonic relationship even though "she thinks I am really great" and that jazz. As much as I shouldn't have felt anything, I was completely devastated.

Now here is my question, which this is mostly addressed to males, but ladies, you are welcome to answer to.

Do I fight for her(aggressive) and get her to like and be a man and be mighty and all alpha dog on her or do I agree(passive) and give up?

Some would you you take the bull by the horns and be a man, but is that disrespectful towards her, pushing it when she doesn't want to or is laying down and taking it the ***** move?

Honestly, I am confused as all hell. I can't stop thinking about it.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

What would you hope to gain by pursuing her when she doesn't want it? To wear her down? She gave you her feelings on the matter. The best bet is to respect her wishes.

 

[JustIncubus]

I agree with you and that is what I did. Some other people I know online told me to basically "man up" and keep pushing it, I just want to see a general consensus.

I personally think it is disrespectful.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I agree with you and that is what I did. Some other people I know online told me to basically "man up" and keep pushing it, I just want to see a general consensus.

I personally think it is disrespectful.

Don't let yourself be forced to second-guess yourself by ridiculous "man up" comments. I think that you made the right decision.

 

[tehdreamer]

There's nothing to "man up" about. But if it needs to be said, it can only be said about moving on. It would be better if she did see you as a romantic possibility, but she doesn't. At least you've made a friend who you like and have things in common with.

 

[Badjedidude]

Sounds like she put you on the backburner as she pursues other possible romantic interests. She tells you that she wants another date with you and then later says you can be friends? Yeaaaahh suuuure. Honestly, it just sounds like she's keeping you as a backup romantic option in case things don't work out with her other romantic interests.

*shrug*

But if you don't mind having a friend that could possibly be more in the future, then what's the loss? Go ahead and be her friend!

 

[VanillaCreme]

Some would you you take the bull by the horns and be a man, but is that disrespectful towards her, pushing it when she doesn't want to or is laying down and taking it the ***** move?

Honestly, I hardly see how "being a man" includes pursuing a female when she clearly told you she wasn't interested. To me, a real man would acknowledge the fact that this female didn't like him in a romantic way. It's not a ***** move to "just take it" either. And who's not to say you don't become great friends with her. It might turn into something more later down the line. You never know what she's really thinking.

 

[Nina]

She may have said, "no go" but as her friend you might get to meet more of her friends and one of them could be a "Yessiree!" Networking through friends has hooked more than a few folks up with a good match.

Man-up remarks like that are usually made by...Man-down...

You're insticnts are right on the money...disrespectful to persue anyone who made their position clear...

 

[shells]

You did the right thing.

Otherwise, you might have had to "man-up" (lol, stupid term) when she files a restraining order on you for harassment.

 

[Badjedidude]

Otherwise, you might have had to "man-up" (lol, stupid term) when she files a restraining order on you for harassment.

Or "bubba-up" in jail after you violate said restraining order.

 

[eris]

Do I fight for her(aggressive) and get her to like and be a man and be mighty and all alpha dog on her or do I agree(passive) and give up?

Some would you you take the bull by the horns and be a man, but is that disrespectful towards her, pushing it when she doesn't want to or is laying down and taking it the ***** move?

EEK. You sound kinda scary. The ***** move ? I wonder what you think the logical move would be. You shouldn't fight girls that you like. I don't think acting like a ****** would help