Anger is a poison.

[dan27]

My temper has got me into trouble in the past, even jail.
It isn't worth it, just to prove your right.

I learned to beware & avoid situations that trigger my rage.
Walk away....chill out....weigh the consequences of reacting with violence.

Peace is the wise move.

 

[Sarah G]

I was never taught healthy ways to deal with emotions so I've had anger issues and emotionally unstable personality issues.

Thankfully we can learn healthy ways to cope with anger and other horrible feelings (it's never too late?).

Hopefully they're teaching that stuff in schools nowadays.

 

[Abstamyous]

My anger has turned into more of frustrations, that for the most part I can keep contained. But some still take me a little while to get over. Mostly, I just need to get over myself lol.

Thank you for this post. It's a great reminder.

 

[randomguy]

One of my favourite quotes is from The Godfather " Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgement ".

I was a very angry teenager, my head was always full of angry thoughts that quickly turned into self destructive, immature and dangerous behaviours. That's the thing with anger it leads to permissive thinking, I allowed myself to engage in behaviours that were unproductive, damaging, and resulted in negative consequences ( "I have been done wrong so I deserve to do this!" or "I have a right to be angry and I am entitled to do X, Y, and Z!" ).

 

[SecondStarTotheRight]

You know what they say. Rage is born of pain.
I try to remember that, when people are violent. Everyone buries pain and it forces its way to the surface inevitably.
Mom said I was born angry. Raw rage to live, I like to think of it. Born with fight, just don't like to.
If you've got all that passion, seek outlets. Creative, harmlessly physical...
If you've got all that pain, seek solace.

 

[Finished]

I was never taught healthy ways to deal with emotions so I've had anger issues and emotionally unstable personality issues.

Thankfully we can learn healthy ways to cope with anger and other horrible feelings (it's never too late?).

Hopefully they're teaching that stuff in schools nowadays.

Believe her! She'll take the house in the divorce. I've seen it. Ha! ha!

 

[Finished]

Well, anger can also help you get through things too. Many times I wanted to quit doing something. But, I got angry about it and finished. "I'll be damned if I'm going to let this get the better of me!" Anger is just another emotion. You can either control your emotions or you can let them control you. But, sometimes it's like riding on a knifes edge. Woohoo!

 

[Expelliarmus]

Anger is one of seven universal emotions, common across genders, ages, and cultures, according to Paul Ekman, a leading researcher in the field of emotions. He says that anger may result from something interfering with our pursuit of a goal that interests us, or when we deal with a threat to us, whether physical or psychological.
In short, anger can be powerful and beneficial; An angry person usually gets what he wants. But would you enjoy the company of an angry person? Most people will say no, and this is one of the main consequences of anger: anger often has a devastating effect on relationships, and causes the angry person to isolate, so it is not anger itself that is the problem; Rather, how do we control it and express it
If you start to notice that you are very irritable, and do things that you will regret later, and that some people talk about how quickly you get angry, then you may need to do something.

Anger can lead to aggression, but if we feel anger, we can accept it and understand it with wisdom, strength, courage and firmness.

 

[theablekingathelstan]

all emotions are valid. it's how we engage with them that counts.

 

[ardour]

Elevated adrenaline and cortisol levels can be harmful as well as inhibit rational thought, so it's true.

 

[Sunless Sky]

I've always had anger issues, from kid to teenager to even adult. The way I used to deal with it as a kid was to pick fights with just about anyone. In hindsight, I was pretty much a bully, not put of malice or anything sinister but out of the desire to let out my frustrations in a fight. One, time I picked a fight with my entire class, well all the boys anyway. Long story short, I got my ass kicked and dragged through the sand.

At teenage-hood is when I started suppressing my emotions so I didn't pick as many fights as before but I became sad and angry. I coped by listening to rock music, mostly linkin park, and playing copious amounts of video games which didn't work 100% of the time so I ended up having some very dark times during this period.

I calmed down a lot as an adult. I still feel the urge to fight but I always keep violence as a very last resort. I get angry sure but I end up swallowing it just like stifling a burp. I boxed for a while and I did feel a sense of peace while in the ring. Like all the world's problems just melt away and I just focus on my opponent.

I wish I could feel like that all the time.

Tldr; I agree with OP, anger can be a poison but it can also be freeing like a brief high. Depends how, when, and where to unleash it.

 

[MissBehave]

I used to be angry at God. This seething anger that would light up as soon as I heard anyone talk about religion. With age it let go...or maybe I just realized that sitting on those feelings was just a waste of energy. Now I'm mostly angry about my own limitations. Rarely about anything else though.

 

[Melli12]

Anger becomes a problem, whenever it's inappropriate in relation to the occuring situation. I also struggle with it. I have many triggers, that I often recognize, when it's already too late. But it's training. I keep on going.

 

[U-122]

My temper has got me into trouble in the past, even jail.
It isn't worth it, just to prove your right.

I learned to beware & avoid situations that trigger my rage.
Walk away....chill out....weigh the consequences of reacting with violence.

Peace is the wise move.

sometimes peace is not an option

 

[MissBehave]

sometimes peace is not an option

Agree with this.

 

[Sir Joseph]

I've never had an anger problem with people, but I sure have with things. As a child, I remember smashing up my roller skates when they failed me, despite the months' worth of quarters and dimes I'd saved to buy them. As a college kid, I remember locking myself in the dorm room with my buddies outside screaming as I smashed up the fancy kite that I'd spent weeks on building incorrectly. At work I remember punching my computer monitor and smashing my keyboard more than once out of frustration. I can't remember all the times that I've thrown things down on the ground over and over again until they smashed to pieces. It's like, if this thing doesn't work right, I'm going to destroy it. And so I do. I forgive myself because it's better than taking frustrations out on people. Still, if we were to watch a video of ourselves during our anger scenes, it'd probably embarrass or disturb us as bad behavior showing a lack of control over our emotions.

Although I rarely express anger to others, as a law enforcement officer making thousands of violator contacts, I encountered a lot of angry people. It doesn't matter if a person's in the wrong, if you confront a wrong person who has an anger problem, they're going to let loose on you. At this point, we all have a choice to make that affects both civilians and police: you can tell yourself that you're not going to take this honeysuckle and retaliate one way or the other - thus escalating the situation. Or you can swallow your pride and just listen, letting the person vent - thus deescalating the situation. I've seen so many unnecessary fights break out with people hurt or sent to jail because of their pride and anger combo. On the other hand, I avoided most fights and many arrests by allowing people to verbally abuse me (it's called verbal judo and there's excellent police courses in it that most departments need but don't do). In my experience, almost every angry subject I encountered could be calmed down and appeased just by listening, being patient, and showing respect - to the point of usually receiving a handshake and apology from the subject after issuing him a ticket.

My point with this story is not to criticise others who feel or express anger in a moment of madness. But when you are in your right mind and you encounter someone else who isn't, the best thing to do is to deescalate the situation if possible. Unless the person's an immediate physical threat, a calm, respectful response is more likely to yield positive results than retaliation. In other words, consider it an opportunity to be a good influence on someone that day - to help, teach, or show kindness to someone. When we're right and someone else is wrong, it's hard exchanging pride for humbleness. I'm not suggesting that right succumb to wrong, but only that we address wrong, or an angry person's actions, in an effective manner.

 

[U-122]

Although I rarely express anger to others, as a law enforcement officer making thousands of violator contacts, I encountered a lot of angry people.

5 warning shots to the back usually calms everyone down. lol

 

[Colster]

Ah, anger. And and the Scorpio mindset.

it takes a freakish amount of disturbance to get me to the hilt switch. I've seen folks lose it over a blister. Yet me, I'm calmer than the calm before the storm. Buddhists look disruptive by comparison. But once the tilt switch has been activated, you better be doing up the last latch on this nuclear bunker. There is no defusing me, and the explosion must occur.

Truthfully, I loath becoming angry, and can become angry at being angry, if that makes any sense. Essentially, the focus is shifted elsewhere, but still equally unpleasant.

However, my mind is similar to a chess player's, and I will play a very long and calculated game. I'll be your buddy, buy a few beers, laugh and joke with you at the bar. Some point, you've got to pee. The moment the first splash hits the pan, I'm going to kick several shades of honeysuckle, from you. Then, go finish my beer, tip the bartender, and go about my business.

Anger in most forms, is counter productive. You are harming yourself, more than resolving anything. It can also lead to very negative consequences. Yet, I will assure you this; no man has ever rushed from the bathroom to demand Police assistance, when he is drenched in his own piss, bowels emptied, and nose in the other side of his face. Especially not when it came from 5'5" polite speaking English gentleman.

If you must waste your time with anger, choose your opponent well. Study them, the scenarios, the exits, and ensure you can win. Anger is wasted on big business. Ex's, they aren't worth your thoughts. Liars can usually be cut by words and hard facts. Theives, fingers, forearms, kneecaps. Anyone else, I'm buying the beer. But importantly, you make the choice, you can take the risk and consequences, or walk away and be the better man. Have you seen what 20 years of being the better man, can do?

Use your anger well, or it will destroy you first.