Anyone else have no friends?

[lostatsea]

I don't get why the nice guy attitude has to be pretend, or why you view yourself as worthless garbage. It's easy for me to say. I have friends. But they are all from college which I graduated long ago. As well as friends of those friends. I haven't made my own new friend in forever, and would hesitate to even say how.


I feel the same loneliness though. I need female companionship which I have none, and have little means or methods to get.

 

[jonagelle]

You make friends you work on it. Initiate to approach and talk to them. And so they will also value your friendship with them, you must be in good behavior. Because friendship is a relationship of good values. They don't want to be influence by bad things. They care about themselves and they also want you to change. A change where you must improve and turn bad attitudes to good ones. If you have a good attitude you will gain more friends. Recall your experience when you are with your friends, you enjoy being with them. So value friendship. Start now. Try to find new and old friends. Be happy in your stay with them. Cherish every moment you have with them.

*promotion removed*

 

[WL7.3]

I can't make friends, only boyfriends :/

 

[a lonely person]

nop, no friends

 

[OnlyMe]

You can add me to the list of not having any friends.

I do have a full time job and therefore have acquaintances but most of these people already have their own families.

It was funny as the other day a co-worker jokingly said to me 'You have no friends' and I thought to myself 'You have no idea just how right you are'

As far as online is concerned - I met an amazing person on this website and we keep in touch.....but I'm in Australia and she lives in Canada.

 

[Serena]

Even if it might sound ego or superficial, I think friendship is being overrated. I went both ways already and I find the lonely side much more attractive.

Think about all the freedoms you have! Doing what you want when you want without having to worry about others. Of course, you can share your time with people you meet (at work, outside....), but you don't have to become friends to feel happy. I think that this way is also easier if you really DO want friends because nobody feels any pressure at the beginning. Socializing is an art form that some people just haven't mastered (I count myself in for this one), but practising might help.

In my opinion, my life hasn't been too bad the last ten years because I do what I like, and I rarely feel the need of having company. I found the switch to turn those feelings off, so maybe other people can learn how to do this, too? Having less obligations lowers your stress level a lot, so I guess the secret is to enjoy the alone time for as long as it lasts and embrace opportunities if they stare you in the face. Everyone has to find his or her own way of balance there.

I'm no mental doctor, but this is my opinion and also a little piece of personal advice for everyone out there struggling with loneliness.

 

[Triple Bogey]

When I hear people lament that they "don't have many good friends" it cracks me up because I have no friends. I go to no social events, I have no visitors, I don't "hang out" with anyone, no one ever calls nor do I call anyone. I occasionally meet my wife (who I'm separated from) for dinner. Other than that, I am always alone. I never have fun. The whole thing is pointless and painful. It's not that I want to be lonely. It's just that I am unable to have friends. I tried to, unsuccessfully, for many years before being forced to accept the reality that no one I'd want to be friends with would ever want to be friends with me. This happened over and over until I could no longer bear it. As painful and hellish as it is to be desperately lonely all the time, it is even more painful to hope and to try, only to end up the object of contempt and rejection. So I stopped trying.

I don't have any friends either. Loads of acquaintances, people who I will stop and chat with if I bump into them.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Even if it might sound ego or superficial, I think friendship is being overrated. I went both ways already and I find the lonely side much more attractive.

Think about all the freedoms you have! Doing what you want when you want without having to worry about others. Of course, you can share your time with people you meet (at work, outside....), but you don't have to become friends to feel happy. I think that this way is also easier if you really DO want friends because nobody feels any pressure at the beginning. Socializing is an art form that some people just haven't mastered (I count myself in for this one), but practising might help.

In my opinion, my life hasn't been too bad the last ten years because I do what I like, and I rarely feel the need of having company. I found the switch to turn those feelings off, so maybe other people can learn how to do this, too? Having less obligations lowers your stress level a lot, so I guess the secret is to enjoy the alone time for as long as it lasts and embrace opportunities if they stare you in the face. Everyone has to find his or her own way of balance there.

I'm no mental doctor, but this is my opinion and also a little piece of personal advice for everyone out there struggling with loneliness.

I totally get this and agree.

 

[constant stranger]

OK, I'm in the same boat too, no friends. Colleagues at work and in public service volunteering, no problem but actual personal friends whom I trust and feel comfortable being vulnerable with? None. It's been years.....since college in the 1970's.

I'm a USA citizen born & raised overseas as an ex-pat., when we moved "home" I was 14 and felt like a foreigner in my own country. That's lessened a bit, but I still think of Hong Kong as my home, although it isn't anymore. Off topic maybe, but in my frame of reference it's contributory, in terms of feeling isolated.

 

[Peaches]

You make friends you work on it. Initiate to approach and talk to them. And so they will also value your friendship with them, you must be in good behavior. Because friendship is a relationship of good values. They don't want to be influence by bad things. They care about themselves and they also want you to change. A change where you must improve and turn bad attitudes to good ones. If you have a good attitude you will gain more friends. Recall your experience when you are with your friends, you enjoy being with them. So value friendship. Start now. Try to find new and old friends. Be happy in your stay with them. Cherish every moment you have with them.

*promotion removed*

This attitude helped me a lot, but still didn't help me get any friends, tons of acquaintances yes, some kind of social life, yes, but real friendship, there must be some steps that I don't know about, beyond having a good attitude, approaching and talking first. After the first pleasantries, things fizzle out, who knows why.

 

[loosewheel]

I think 'friend' is poetic rhetoric. I don't think there is really such a thing. There are people you are closer to and people you're not. The fit me like a glove and fulfil me type of thing is very rare. It's like waiting your whole life to win the lottery. If you don't find people fulfilling then maybe another interest will. Focusing on what you expect to get might seem appealing, but people can be needy and very annoying also. Maybe a balance is better.

 

[Glenn67]

When I hear people lament that they "don't have many good friends" it cracks me up because I have no friends. I go to no social events, I have no visitors, I don't "hang out" with anyone, no one ever calls nor do I call anyone. I occasionally meet my wife (who I'm separated from) for dinner. Other than that, I am always alone. I never have fun. The whole thing is pointless and painful. It's not that I want to be lonely. It's just that I am unable to have friends. I tried to, unsuccessfully, for many years before being forced to accept the reality that no one I'd want to be friends with would ever want to be friends with me. This happened over and over until I could no longer bear it. As painful and hellish as it is to be desperately lonely all the time, it is even more painful to hope and to try, only to end up the object of contempt and rejection. So I stopped trying.

I have no real friends I hang out with.I know people but I have'nt had a close friend in over 10 years now.my family is my closest.I need friends but am not all that outgoing.learning to be by myself.not by choice.

 

[Triple Bogey]

no close friends, no girl friend, loads of people who I know though.

 

[davey]

My best friends, my lifelong friends, died. That's one reason I'm so alone now.

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Is it possible to make new friends on this Internet?

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Not in my experience

 

[davey]

Last post at 7.14pm.

---

HOW CAN NO RESPONSE ALLEVIATE LONELINESS?

 

[Alyssia]

You are not alone in not having any friends. I didn't choose not to be friendless though, I just got tired of not being able to find any true, genuine friends that weren't self-absorbed or some sort of hidden agenda up their sleeve.

I get along better with males than I do females, however hubby is not comfortable with me having a male friend. So the walls and my ipad are my friends. My hubby mentioned maybe getting a puppy, I don't know if that will help any.

Is companionship with animals/pets better than quality time with humans? I hope to find out because somedays I feel like I'm just going through the motions, and I really do want to feel like I'm alive again, living life.

EDIT:Typo Ipad

 

[rayeo]

I have no friends either. I tried chatrooms but I don't really have much to say but laugh and joke or be enthusiastic about what they have to say. It's kind of boring to others when all I am is in AW over them and their experiences..so I don't try that anymore. It's not as hard for me to make friends if I be myself, but no one really levels with me since I have different interests from them. And I notice people don't care what I have to say, they only care that I listen to them talk, so I'd prefer to sit alone than be treated that way. I think I've given up on people but at the same time, I have always been more happy without them. A friend would be nice though.

You are not alone in not having any friends. I didn't choose not to be friendless though, I just got tires of not being able to find any true, genuine friends that weren't self-absorbed or some sort of hidden agenda up their sleeve.

I get along better with males than I do males, however hubby is not comfortable with me having a male friend. So the walls and my ipad are my friends. My hubby mentioned maybe getting a puppy, I don't know if that will help any.

Is companionship with animals/pets better than quality time with humans? I hope to find out because somedays I feel like I'm just going through the motions, and I really do want to feel like I'm alive again, living life.

I think pets are a huge help. I tend to stay in my home with no one but myself to talk to for months (agoraphobia) so talking to my dog or playing with my Ferret really helps keep me company. If you need a hug you can hold onto them and the best thing, they can't do anything about it

 

[Alyssia]

I have no friends either. I tried chatrooms but I don't really have much to say but laugh and joke or be enthusiastic about what they have to say. It's kind of boring to others when all I am is in AW over them and their experiences..so I don't try that anymore. It's not as hard for me to make friends if I be myself, but no one really levels with me since I have different interests from them. And I notice people don't care what I have to say, they only care that I listen to them talk, so I'd prefer to sit alone than be treated that way. I think I've given up on people but at the same time, I have always been more happy without them. A friend would be nice though.

You are not alone in not having any friends. I didn't choose not to be friendless though, I just got tires of not being able to find any true, genuine friends that weren't self-absorbed or some sort of hidden agenda up their sleeve.

I get along better with males than I do females, however hubby is not comfortable with me having a male friend. So the walls and my ipad are my friends. My hubby mentioned maybe getting a puppy, I don't know if that will help any.

Is companionship with animals/pets better than quality time with humans? I hope to find out because somedays I feel like I'm just going through the motions, and I really do want to feel like I'm alive again, living life.

I think pets are a huge help. I tend to stay in my home with no one but myself to talk to for months (agoraphobia) so talking to my dog or playing with my Ferret really helps keep me company. If you need a hug you can hold onto them and the best thing, they can't do anything about it

I had to edit part of post lol, my ipad loves to go wonky on me. I hear you on the way people socialize and it's not really socialization when all they do is talk about what's going on in their life and never ask how things are going with you. But I'm pretty much the same (introvert) in terms of rather being alone most of the time, as for our well being as human beings we need to socialize, because mentally we need that stimulation.

My biggest issue was with "gossip", I don't know why but every female friend that I tried to make, gossiped lol. I find makes to be more rational, logical critical thinkers and it's more easier to have a discussion with. Don't get me wrong, I got nothing against females but I'm a annoyed at this point and disappointed that I haven't found one yet.

Looking for a forum or even a chat room without "drama" can be quite the challenge, however it's still worth the shot of jumping in. Sometimes I think we lose our self-confidence, I know I do when I say something socially awkward and I tend to do it frequently as in being blunt.

I do the same thing, haven't been outside in months, so I suppose a pet would help a great deal with that, going for walks and getting some exercise. I love hugs haha, that's another good point!

Also with interests, I'm the same in regards to being the social outcast, but I really do see it as being a non-conformist.

 

[Dexter]

I am not having any friends either and I have to do nearly everything alone.

I don't know how to change my situation, I am 22 at the moment and my biggest fear is that in 10 years for example nothing has changed and I still will be in the same situation.

 

[Rainbows]

The people I sometimes hang out with are people who are into the same things as me. But otherwise I barely talk to them.. Except like sometimes this one person but that lasts for like 3 weeks and then they get bored of me. But I've come to realise it's okay. I enjoy not having to be forced to leave me my bed and be social unless I want to. If I'm there, they're really nice to me and we talk lots..

But only sometimes the loneliness does hit and I'm having a big cry. But most of the time I'm fine with it.