Triple Bogey
Well-known member
Alienated said:
good for you !
I hope it goes well !
7sorrow said:
good idea. It will make you feel better !
Anyone else out there so single they just want to scream???
- Thread starter 7sorrow
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Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
good for you !
I hope it goes well !
good idea. It will make you feel better !
ladyforsaken said:
I'm so unlucky that I once started to work out and yes, it was helping me to get through this loneliness thing (although I was still having my times of deep sadness about it). Then I had three deslocations of my right shoulder (I went through 2 surgeries), so now I'm not even able to work out anymore.
There are plenty in advantages on being single, such as having money (which you don't need to share with anyone), you can do whatever you want whenever you want, and so on.
But it's hard to enjoy them never knowing the feeling of having someone who loves you not as a friend or family, but as a partner, someone to cuddle, to walk around the town holding hands...
I usually "forget" how single I am, but every time I get to remember, a mixed feeling of anger, sadness, insecurity and shame take over me. And although I want to share it with everybody, I won't, because complaining about being single is way more "turning off" than actually being single.
CHSlater said:I usually "forget" how single I am, but every time I get to remember, a mixed feeling of anger, sadness, insecurity and shame take over me. And although I want to share it with everybody, I won't, because complaining about being single is way more "turning off" than actually being single.
I try to forget that I'm single but there are people who purposely ask about my relationship status and I think its just to rub it in my face. Also seeing happy couples hurts me a lot on the inside.
7sorrow said:
yes, exactly.That's the why it's so hard to enjoy our loneliness. I'm always wondering if I'll ever find someone who complete me, I mean c'mom! It mustn't be that hard since almost everyone around us is (or had been) in a relationship, right?! RIGHT?!
Well, the answer is that the more odd you are, the harder it'll be to find a match. People are always telling me "you don't have a gf because you don't want to or you're gay", but it's hard to explain that I don't want a girl just because she is a girl in a world that looks like a big harem. I want the right ones, but saddly, the right ones don't want me back (each one has their own reasons or excuses).
so many friends of mine rub their relationships in my face too, and yes, it's hard to deal with it.
jaguarundi
Well-known member
I cannot help but feel that many people put the cart before the horse. You feel sad, lonely and unloved. You think that having a SO in your life will cure all that.
But because you are sad, lonely and unloved you don't attract someone into your life.
Why not try doing things to make you happy and being around more people so that you don't feel lonely, and loving yourself? At the least you will be happier person, even if you don't find anyone.
But because you are sad, lonely and unloved you don't attract someone into your life.
Why not try doing things to make you happy and being around more people so that you don't feel lonely, and loving yourself? At the least you will be happier person, even if you don't find anyone.
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
jaguarundi said:
That's the nasty thing about this...the cyclical nature of it. I've caught myself feeling like garbage for days about it, but then I don't do anything to make myself more interesting on those days, which only perpetuates the problem.
jaguarundi
Well-known member
TheSkaFish said:
Forget being interesting - try being interested
I recently completed my edx.org Jazz appreciation course (100% mark by the way which would be great except you would have to have the brains of a chimp NOT to get that) and am starting their Justice course. Watching the vids, reading the course materials and using my brain a bit, and thinking about something other than my problems is a great relief.... I know of no-one to talk to about any of it, but it doesn't matter. I am interested in it - that's all that matters!
jaguarundi said:
No I don't let people know how miserable I am. I'm really good at putting on a happy face and a big smile for everyone. Everyone thinks I'm so tough and that nothing bothers me and always happy and laughing and smiling. There's no one I could let them know how much I cry. My own mother probably can count on one hand the times she's seen me cry in my life. I Know its not healthy but I just can't share my feelings so easily. I can on here because I'm completely anonymous. Just a name and nothing more. The truth is I'm ashamed of these lonely feelings. I'm ashamed of my lonely life. I feel unloveable. I keep myself busy with two jobs and school. Let my family think I'm too busy to be bothered with a relationship.
CHSlater said:7sorrow said:
yes, exactly.That's the why it's so hard to enjoy our loneliness. I'm always wondering if I'll ever find someone who complete me, I mean c'mom! It mustn't be that hard since almost everyone around us is (or had been) in a relationship, right?! RIGHT?!
Well, the answer is that the more odd you are, the harder it'll be to find a match. People are always telling me "you don't have a gf because you don't want to or you're gay", but it's hard to explain that I don't want a girl just because she is a girl in a world that looks like a big harem. I want the right ones, but saddly, the right ones don't want me back (each one has their own reasons or excuses).
so many friends of mine rub their relationships in my face too, and yes, it's hard to deal with it.
My family accuses me of being gay for my lack of relationships. It kinda sucks but I've gotten used to it. Some days are worse than others. Today I just want to cry and disappear.
Triple Bogey
Well-known member
7sorrow said:jaguarundi said:
No I don't let people know how miserable I am. I'm really good at putting on a happy face and a big smile for everyone. Everyone thinks I'm so tough and that nothing bothers me and always happy and laughing and smiling. There's no one I could let them know how much I cry. My own mother probably can count on one hand the times she's seen me cry in my life. I Know its not healthy but I just can't share my feelings so easily. I can on here because I'm completely anonymous. Just a name and nothing more. The truth is I'm ashamed of these lonely feelings. I'm ashamed of my lonely life. I feel unloveable. I keep myself busy with two jobs and school. Let my family think I'm too busy to be bothered with a relationship.
CHSlater said:7sorrow said:
yes, exactly.That's the why it's so hard to enjoy our loneliness. I'm always wondering if I'll ever find someone who complete me, I mean c'mom! It mustn't be that hard since almost everyone around us is (or had been) in a relationship, right?! RIGHT?!
Well, the answer is that the more odd you are, the harder it'll be to find a match. People are always telling me "you don't have a gf because you don't want to or you're gay", but it's hard to explain that I don't want a girl just because she is a girl in a world that looks like a big harem. I want the right ones, but saddly, the right ones don't want me back (each one has their own reasons or excuses).
so many friends of mine rub their relationships in my face too, and yes, it's hard to deal with it.
My family accuses me of being gay for my lack of relationships. It kinda sucks but I've gotten used to it. Some days are worse than others. Today I just want to cry and disappear.
You want to be careful what you wish for. When you have a girlfriend you get a whole new set of problems and things to worry about.
All around me are people who are dating, getting married, having kids, ******* each other, cheating. It can become an obsession. Why is it never me ? I must have been miserable for a decade thinking about it. It's there now, not as powerful though. I have too many good things in my life to worry about not being in a relationship. You need to get to the point when it doesn't matter that much. When you think about it, it's really good to be single. No responsibilities, complete freedom to do what you want and when. Imagine having a house full of screaming kids and a moaning wife ?
It should be the icing on the cake, nothing more !
http://www.voicelessness.com/intimacy.html
I didn't think this was worth building a new thread over. I read this article a while back and I thought that this really linked in closely with me.
I didn't think this was worth building a new thread over. I read this article a while back and I thought that this really linked in closely with me.
Skid Row 89
Well-known member
I used to worry a lot about not being in a relationship and was preoccupied with the thought of getting a girlfriend when I was younger (when I was about 14-17). I've been single for over two years now and it is lonely but it doesn't bother me the same way it used to; it's funny how things change. I'm trying to stay optimistic about the whole thing though.
StormChild
Well-known member
I've been single so long that it's pretty much my default state. Doesn't make me feel like screaming any more, just sad and resigned.
I could say that dwelling on it won't help, but when something's getting to you it's pointless for somebody to tell you to get over it and move on. All I can suggest is trying to build a full and happy life so that when the perfect person does come along you'll have plenty to share with them.
I could say that dwelling on it won't help, but when something's getting to you it's pointless for somebody to tell you to get over it and move on. All I can suggest is trying to build a full and happy life so that when the perfect person does come along you'll have plenty to share with them.
Alonewith2cats
Well-known member
StormChild said:
This is good advice. But it's a catch 22. if you're unhappy because you're alone you have less to offer but so hard to get happy when you're lonely and wanting love and companionship. Well, that is how I feel. I cry every day because I'm having trouble being so much alone.
Triple Bogey
Well-known member
it's always there with me. Probably because I like women so much.
But it's been so long I am used to it.
But it's been so long I am used to it.
Elona
Active member
It never used to bother me much, but recently it has become pretty bad.
Recently I've been feeling like I always have to stand back. There's always something or someone more important than spending time with me. I'm yearning just to be someone's number one for a change. The one someone would drop everything for to be with, like I would for that person. To know I am missed when I'm not around. Someone to laugh with, cry with and be silly with. Someone to hug. And I feel sometimes like I will never be so lucky to experience that. I feel hopeless.
The other day "A Moment Like This" from Kelly Clarkson was playing on the radio: "Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me/Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this". And I was like, thanks for rubbing my face in it, and changed the station.
I wish I could go back to it not bothering me much.
Recently I've been feeling like I always have to stand back. There's always something or someone more important than spending time with me. I'm yearning just to be someone's number one for a change. The one someone would drop everything for to be with, like I would for that person. To know I am missed when I'm not around. Someone to laugh with, cry with and be silly with. Someone to hug. And I feel sometimes like I will never be so lucky to experience that. I feel hopeless.
The other day "A Moment Like This" from Kelly Clarkson was playing on the radio: "Oh, I can't believe it's happening to me/Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this". And I was like, thanks for rubbing my face in it, and changed the station.
I wish I could go back to it not bothering me much.
