Anyone ever get depressed after getting the exact result you wanted?

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Hi everyone. I'm new here. I put my intro in the "Introduction" forum.

Wanted to tell of the incident that led me to this forum.
To make a long story short, I have been seeing "working girls" (we call them "providers", us guys are "mongers") for a very long time.
A girl I met in 2016 who worked very infrequently at an upscale escort agency here in NY.
She would work for a few days, then go away for 5 or 6 months.
She was in college. 21 when we met.
At the end of 2019 she came back to the agency for only 4 days. She let me know she did not want to do that anymore, and asked if we
could have an "arrangement". She's cute, intelligent, and my type physically. I said yes.
For almost 3 years I was her "sugar daddy".
We saw each other weekly, then monthly when she left the area to complete an accelerated nursing degree.
She had many issues other than just the "provider" thing.
She suffered from severe depression and had attempted suicide once in the past.
Takes heavy anti-depressant meds from her psychiatrist.
Anyways, in 2022 she attempted suicide twice. Even sent me pics of her slit wrists. I was able to convince her to go to the ER.
They kept her in the psych ward for 3 days.
The second time she slit her wrists she also OD'd on the anti depressants.
They kept her in the medical hospital for 5 days and then put her in a mental institution for 10 days.
She called me up crying because she wanted to leave, and begged me for help.
I called lawyers for her and got legal advice.
Anyways they kicked her out of the nursing program and she is stuck with a very big student loan - over $50K.
She's very unstable. She would call me to make plans, then back out at the last minute.

Anyways, I have for a long time wanted to break it off with her. I have many problems too, and she only adds to them.
But I was afraid it might send her over the edge and she would try suicide again, and then it would be my fault.
But I really wanted to be free of her. Shes has been a big burden on me.
And there was no reciprocation on her part.
I had surgery and needed a ride home back in June, but she said she couldn't because she "had plans with her friends".
So I really wanted to break it off, but just couldn't because I was afraid she would hurt herself.

I saw her a month ago and have not seen her since.
She doesn't know I have her instagram.
She started posting pics with guy where she lives (same city as the nursing school).
The pics started popping up right after the last time I saw her.
Apparently she has boyfriend now. And I have not heard from her.
It looks like I got my wish.
I am totally free of her.

I know it's for the best and I am lucky to have such a clean break.
But I'm depressed over it.
Even though this guy does not realize how much trouble may be coming his way...I am jealous that she is giving herself freely and willingly to him whereas I was only a business transaction to her (even though she said otherwise many times).
I'll get over it. Probably in a week or two.
But right now...I'm depressed even though I got exactly what I wanted.
Ever feel the same?
 
So I've never been in that exact situation but I know exactly how getting what you wanted doesn't produce the expected results. I woukd also be willing to bet that you haven't heard the last of her.
I totally agree.
This new "boyfriend" will last only until the next psychotic episode...and then...she'll call.
But now that I've been "enlightened"...the results will not be as she may have expected...
 
An ex-friend had a similar relationship with a stripper / part time working girl. He would even call me up to help her out. I was like, dude! What the hell are you doing? I went out with them a few times to dinner. She was nice and friendly. But, on drugs and suicidal. She kept bouncing between boyfriends and then calling my friend to help her out again. It went on for about three years until she overdosed on purpose.

I'm so thankful that I can live alone and don't NEED female companionship. It makes things SOOOOO much easier.

But, back to the title of this thread. I have said in the past, I wish I had a girlfriend, much like others on here. But, if I did I would have wished I didn't after seeing all the trouble they are. Ha! ha!
 
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An ex-friend had a similar relationship with a stripper / part time working girl. He would even call me up to help her out. I was like, dude! What the hell are you doing? I went out with them a few times to dinner. She was nice and friendly. But, on drugs and suicidal. She kept bouncing between boyfriends and then calling my friend to help her out again. It went on for about three years until she overdosed on purpose.

I'm so thankful that I can live alone and don't NEED female companionship. It makes things SOOOOO much easier.

But, back to the title of this thread. I have said in the past, I wish I had a girlfriend, much like others on her. But, if I did I would have wished I didn't after seeing all the trouble they are. Ha! ha!

I echo this sentiment almost to the letter. There are times I wish I had a girlfriend, and in all honesty those times can feel pretty soul destroying and make me view myself as the most inadequate man in the world for not managing (or caring to manage) what all my ancestors before me have done. But deep down, I know in the back of my mind I'm probably not cut out for all the effort and compromise a relationship would involve. My interests and lifestyle are solitary, full of peace, quiet and doing my own thing. I'm not sure I'd be willing to compromise that for anyone. And at the age I am now (35), I'm not even sure I'd know how to go about changing things anyway. I guess I'm a perpetual loner weirdo.
 
Hi there!
My partner and I had a very roller coaster month.
A lot of things did happened through out our years being together. My partner never stop showing how much he cares or love me. I always noticed if there's changes into his actions... I don't know how many people believe in intuition, i do have that very strong that even small things I can easily know that there's something wrong.
I did brush off so many things that I found odd, and he always have explanation for everything. This last straw it hit me so bad, like I literally broke down and worsen my panic attacks, my anxiety went high up, I couldn't think straight. He wasn't cheating, but he did betrayed me. He was sorry and tell me thay he will do better. I want to believe it, but my heart can see through everything. I do love him so much that it hurts. He said he will do better, but my heart is in the process of getting numb. I wasnt the one he wanted, it was someone else. Its not me. I just realized everything.
 
Hi there!
My partner and I had a very roller coaster month.
A lot of things did happened through out our years being together. My partner never stop showing how much he cares or love me. I always noticed if there's changes into his actions... I don't know how many people believe in intuition, i do have that very strong that even small things I can easily know that there's something wrong.
I did brush off so many things that I found odd, and he always have explanation for everything. This last straw it hit me so bad, like I literally broke down and worsen my panic attacks, my anxiety went high up, I couldn't think straight. He wasn't cheating, but he did betrayed me. He was sorry and tell me thay he will do better. I want to believe it, but my heart can see through everything. I do love him so much that it hurts. He said he will do better, but my heart is in the process of getting numb. I wasnt the one he wanted, it was someone else. Its not me. I just realized everything.
Sorry to hear that.
You sound like a very nice person.
I won't lie...I was absolutely seeing escorts, a lot of them, while I had a "relationship" with my sugar baby.
But I was always honest about it and always told her that I saw other girls. I never lied to her or hid things from her.
She would ask me and I would tell her.
It just kind of hurt me that she would do this, have a boyfriend, without reciprocating the honesty that I showed her.
I was her sole support for the last 3 years. Her parents and family did nothing for her. It was only me.
And then to just ghost me, after all the pains I went through with her.
At least she could have said she met someone, said goodbye to me, and thank me for what I did for her.
But ghosting me? To me that was just classless and cowardly.
But I am smart enough to know this is absolutely a Godsend for me.
This new guy has taken her off my hands. I'm free.
I am starting to get over it.
Saw a fantastic escort tonight after work. That helped...
 
I've had a similar problem for some time, not exactly parallel.

I often have a desire to complete a project, of some kind: writing, mapping, learning something new, etc., etc.. However, I often don't finish what I start, because I become disinterested, and lose the original passion in the moment of a sparked idea.

The past few years I've pushed myself to see a project through till the end; but, when I do so, it's hell. Once I finally see the finish line in sight, I rush rush rush, and miss mistakes, and I've also lost passion by this point. The end result, isn't necessarily awful, I achieved what I set out to do, more or less; but, I feel incredibly depressed.

I'm not sure if this always happens, I know in the past, it was not so. It's tough though. I feel crap for not finishing anything I start, and I feel crap for finishing what I do start, if not crappier.

As some one shared recently, a quote from Spock:"...Having, is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting..."

I would suspect, those of us who suffer in this way, have a sort of lack of insight, into what we really want.

I really don't actually put a lot of thought into what I want, and the times that I do try to do so, I find so incredibly difficult; like voluntarily choosing to take an SAT or something, who would volunteer for that?

It's tough. You think you want a million dollars, until you realize how much of a responsibility it is, or how much it sucks you blew it all, stupidly, or how people come out of the woodwork wanting money now, etc.. etc..

You think you want a gorgeous woman or a stud muffin doctor; until you find out that gorgeous woman gets a _LOT_ of looks, or has a temper, or is spoiled, or cold; until you find out the hot doctor with the BMW, really only has those two things going for him money, and looks, and the rest of the time, he's difficult to live with, unexciting, or worse.

---
I would venture a guess, however, that, the reason we suffer in this way, is because there is duality in all things. We want a nice car; but, having it means higher insurance rates, and the eyes of thieves. Nobody wants to pay more to the insurance people; but, we don't think about things in their totality. We see the bad in the bad, and we see the good in the good. We fail to notice the good in the bad, and the bad in the good.

And I don't think becoming keenly aware of the good in the bad and the bad in the good, would fix the problem either. I think the awareness alone would be beneficial, to it's own end; but, it wouldn't drastically change things; because that's just the nature of life.

Single and lonely, married and bored (or lonely, or worse!)
Poor and destitute, or filthy rich and buying your way into the poor house.
---
So, I guess the good news is, if it's possible to do at all, is be mindful of one's wants and haves; no matter what your position, whether having or wanting, we can focus some contemplative awareness on that. *shrugs*
 
Hi everyone. I'm new here. I put my intro in the "Introduction" forum.

Wanted to tell of the incident that led me to this forum.
To make a long story short, I have been seeing "working girls" (we call them "providers", us guys are "mongers") for a very long time.
A girl I met in 2016 who worked very infrequently at an upscale escort agency here in NY.
She would work for a few days, then go away for 5 or 6 months.
She was in college. 21 when we met.
At the end of 2019 she came back to the agency for only 4 days. She let me know she did not want to do that anymore, and asked if we
could have an "arrangement". She's cute, intelligent, and my type physically. I said yes.
For almost 3 years I was her "sugar daddy".
We saw each other weekly, then monthly when she left the area to complete an accelerated nursing degree.
She had many issues other than just the "provider" thing.
She suffered from severe depression and had attempted suicide once in the past.
Takes heavy anti-depressant meds from her psychiatrist.
Anyways, in 2022 she attempted suicide twice. Even sent me pics of her slit wrists. I was able to convince her to go to the ER.
They kept her in the psych ward for 3 days.
The second time she slit her wrists she also OD'd on the anti depressants.
They kept her in the medical hospital for 5 days and then put her in a mental institution for 10 days.
She called me up crying because she wanted to leave, and begged me for help.
I called lawyers for her and got legal advice.
Anyways they kicked her out of the nursing program and she is stuck with a very big student loan - over $50K.
She's very unstable. She would call me to make plans, then back out at the last minute.

Anyways, I have for a long time wanted to break it off with her. I have many problems too, and she only adds to them.
But I was afraid it might send her over the edge and she would try suicide again, and then it would be my fault.
But I really wanted to be free of her. Shes has been a big burden on me.
And there was no reciprocation on her part.
I had surgery and needed a ride home back in June, but she said she couldn't because she "had plans with her friends".
So I really wanted to break it off, but just couldn't because I was afraid she would hurt herself.

I saw her a month ago and have not seen her since.
She doesn't know I have her instagram.
She started posting pics with guy where she lives (same city as the nursing school).
The pics started popping up right after the last time I saw her.
Apparently she has boyfriend now. And I have not heard from her.
It looks like I got my wish.
I am totally free of her.

I know it's for the best and I am lucky to have such a clean break.
But I'm depressed over it.
Even though this guy does not realize how much trouble may be coming his way...I am jealous that she is giving herself freely and willingly to him whereas I was only a business transaction to her (even though she said otherwise many times).
I'll get over it. Probably in a week or two.
But right now...I'm depressed even though I got exactly what I wanted.
Ever feel the same?
Let her go, my friend. She would never be faithful to you and could bring sorrow into your life, as well as an STD, as she may well be infected with, as a "lady of the night".
 
Hi everyone. I'm new here. I put my intro in the "Introduction" forum.

Wanted to tell of the incident that led me to this forum.
To make a long story short, I have been seeing "working girls" (we call them "providers", us guys are "mongers") for a very long time.
A girl I met in 2016 who worked very infrequently at an upscale escort agency here in NY.
She would work for a few days, then go away for 5 or 6 months.
She was in college. 21 when we met.
At the end of 2019 she came back to the agency for only 4 days. She let me know she did not want to do that anymore, and asked if we
could have an "arrangement". She's cute, intelligent, and my type physically. I said yes.
For almost 3 years I was her "sugar daddy".
We saw each other weekly, then monthly when she left the area to complete an accelerated nursing degree.
She had many issues other than just the "provider" thing.
She suffered from severe depression and had attempted suicide once in the past.
Takes heavy anti-depressant meds from her psychiatrist.
Anyways, in 2022 she attempted suicide twice. Even sent me pics of her slit wrists. I was able to convince her to go to the ER.
They kept her in the psych ward for 3 days.
The second time she slit her wrists she also OD'd on the anti depressants.
They kept her in the medical hospital for 5 days and then put her in a mental institution for 10 days.
She called me up crying because she wanted to leave, and begged me for help.
I called lawyers for her and got legal advice.
Anyways they kicked her out of the nursing program and she is stuck with a very big student loan - over $50K.
She's very unstable. She would call me to make plans, then back out at the last minute.

Anyways, I have for a long time wanted to break it off with her. I have many problems too, and she only adds to them.
But I was afraid it might send her over the edge and she would try suicide again, and then it would be my fault.
But I really wanted to be free of her. Shes has been a big burden on me.
And there was no reciprocation on her part.
I had surgery and needed a ride home back in June, but she said she couldn't because she "had plans with her friends".
So I really wanted to break it off, but just couldn't because I was afraid she would hurt herself.

I saw her a month ago and have not seen her since.
She doesn't know I have her instagram.
She started posting pics with guy where she lives (same city as the nursing school).
The pics started popping up right after the last time I saw her.
Apparently she has boyfriend now. And I have not heard from her.
It looks like I got my wish.
I am totally free of her.

I know it's for the best and I am lucky to have such a clean break.
But I'm depressed over it.
Even though this guy does not realize how much trouble may be coming his way...I am jealous that she is giving herself freely and willingly to him whereas I was only a business transaction to her (even though she said otherwise many times).
I'll get over it. Probably in a week or two.
But right now...I'm depressed even though I got exactly what I wanted.
Ever feel the same?
Negative. Women think they are better then men, but they'd never survive without men, They use the law, judges, the police to out us behind bars. I've never harmed one but on my MGTOW forum, it all comes out ( dont ask, you are not invited to this forum period), The red flag laws alone are geared to send good men to jail. I am thinking of buying a police camera, so that I can record everything. The cops lie about anyone using them, but my attorney would have them shown to be mistaken. Women are thier own worse enemies and will also be spending many years alone, after what they have done to good men like me, even in my childhood, so I know they are no angels at all. I cant take any chances at all. Women HAVE to have someone to speak with, unlike men who can ( One man lived 43 years in solitary confinement, and he was an innocent man, No woman could ever do that. Even I couldn't do it. Suicide is the only option at that point.
 
I dunno. I can only zero in on the 'to make a long story short' that was a ******* story. I think you misunderstood the phrase.
 
on my MGTOW forum, it all comes out ( dont ask, you are not invited to this forum period)

Oh, I know about MGTOW.
I was on ROK for several years.
I've had some guys tell me they think I am a MGTOW type because I see escorts instead of lowering my sites and wifing up a mediocre looking woman.

But the truth is, I need female companionship. I get lonely and every so often I get attached to one, much to my detriment.
It never works out and never will. I keep telling myself to not care...but every few years, it happens.
The loneliness can be overwhelming at time. Hopefully this girl was the very last one.
 
Hi everyone. I'm new here. I put my intro in the "Introduction" forum.

Wanted to tell of the incident that led me to this forum.
To make a long story short, I have been seeing "working girls" (we call them "providers", us guys are "mongers") for a very long time.
A girl I met in 2016 who worked very infrequently at an upscale escort agency here in NY.
She would work for a few days, then go away for 5 or 6 months.
She was in college. 21 when we met.
At the end of 2019 she came back to the agency for only 4 days. She let me know she did not want to do that anymore, and asked if we
could have an "arrangement". She's cute, intelligent, and my type physically. I said yes.
For almost 3 years I was her "sugar daddy".
We saw each other weekly, then monthly when she left the area to complete an accelerated nursing degree.
She had many issues other than just the "provider" thing.
She suffered from severe depression and had attempted suicide once in the past.
Takes heavy anti-depressant meds from her psychiatrist.
Anyways, in 2022 she attempted suicide twice. Even sent me pics of her slit wrists. I was able to convince her to go to the ER.
They kept her in the psych ward for 3 days.
The second time she slit her wrists she also OD'd on the anti depressants.
They kept her in the medical hospital for 5 days and then put her in a mental institution for 10 days.
She called me up crying because she wanted to leave, and begged me for help.
I called lawyers for her and got legal advice.
Anyways they kicked her out of the nursing program and she is stuck with a very big student loan - over $50K.
She's very unstable. She would call me to make plans, then back out at the last minute.

Anyways, I have for a long time wanted to break it off with her. I have many problems too, and she only adds to them.
But I was afraid it might send her over the edge and she would try suicide again, and then it would be my fault.
But I really wanted to be free of her. Shes has been a big burden on me.
And there was no reciprocation on her part.
I had surgery and needed a ride home back in June, but she said she couldn't because she "had plans with her friends".
So I really wanted to break it off, but just couldn't because I was afraid she would hurt herself.

I saw her a month ago and have not seen her since.
She doesn't know I have her instagram.
She started posting pics with guy where she lives (same city as the nursing school).
The pics started popping up right after the last time I saw her.
Apparently she has boyfriend now. And I have not heard from her.
It looks like I got my wish.
I am totally free of her.

I know it's for the best and I am lucky to have such a clean break.
But I'm depressed over it.
Even though this guy does not realize how much trouble may be coming his way...I am jealous that she is giving herself freely and willingly to him whereas I was only a business transaction to her (even though she said otherwise many times).
I'll get over it. Probably in a week or two.
But right now...I'm depressed even though I got exactly what I wanted.
Ever feel the same?
Honestly I have gotten what I wanted once and it is not always as amazing as my mind imagines. I wanted my ex to come back on his hands and knees begging just so I could say “no too late! Had your chance…now another man wants all of this buddy boy” 😂 yeah that dramatic, you know really rub it in… it happened and my little one crying that she wants me with her daddy again… it crushed me, I realised life is about way more than all that petty rubbish! I say, you are to find an amazing girl, that you like, and live your life with no regrets, sounds like you dodged an emotional rollercoaster maybe you’ll find someone to match the calm energy you give off 😇 merry Christmas ✨
 
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Honestly I have gotten what I wanted once and it is not always as amazing as my mind imagines. I wanted my ex to come back on his hands and knees begging just so I could say “no too late! Had your chance…now another man wants all of this buddy boy” 😂 yeah that dramatic, you know really rub it in… it happened and my little one crying that she wants me with her daddy again… it crushed me, I realised life is about way more than all that petty rubbish! I say, you are to find an amazing girl, that you like, and live your life with no regrets, sounds like you dodged and emotional rollercoaster maybe you’ll find someone to match the calm energy you give off 😇 merry Christmas ✨
Thank you. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and wishing all the best in 2023 for you and your daughter.
 
Oh, I know about MGTOW.
I was on ROK for several years.
I've had some guys tell me they think I am a MGTOW type because I see escorts instead of lowering my sites and wifing up a mediocre looking woman.

But the truth is, I need female companionship. I get lonely and every so often I get attached to one, much to my detriment.
It never works out and never will. I keep telling myself to not care...but every few years, it happens.
The loneliness can be.

overwhelming at time. Hopefully this girl was the very last one.
 
I don't visit lady's of the night. I don't want an STD and it might become a habit. I am not having that at all.
 
I don't visit lady's of the night. I don't want an STD and it might become a habit. I am not having that at all.
I didn't suggest you should, and I don't advise others to do so either.
I am merely relaying my personal experiences.
In fact, on other sites geared to that sort of thing, I often try to convince younger guys to avoid it altogether and work on meeting a nice girl instead. Going down the road I went down leads to a very lonely dead end.
 
Hi everyone. I'm new here. I put my intro in the "Introduction" forum.

Wanted to tell of the incident that led me to this forum.
To make a long story short, I have been seeing "working girls" (we call them "providers", us guys are "mongers") for a very long time.
A girl I met in 2016 who worked very infrequently at an upscale escort agency here in NY.
She would work for a few days, then go away for 5 or 6 months.
She was in college. 21 when we met.
At the end of 2019 she came back to the agency for only 4 days. She let me know she did not want to do that anymore, and asked if we
could have an "arrangement". She's cute, intelligent, and my type physically. I said yes.
For almost 3 years I was her "sugar daddy".
We saw each other weekly, then monthly when she left the area to complete an accelerated nursing degree.
She had many issues other than just the "provider" thing.
She suffered from severe depression and had attempted suicide once in the past.
Takes heavy anti-depressant meds from her psychiatrist.
Anyways, in 2022 she attempted suicide twice. Even sent me pics of her slit wrists. I was able to convince her to go to the ER.
They kept her in the psych ward for 3 days.
The second time she slit her wrists she also OD'd on the anti depressants.
They kept her in the medical hospital for 5 days and then put her in a mental institution for 10 days.
She called me up crying because she wanted to leave, and begged me for help.
I called lawyers for her and got legal advice.
Anyways they kicked her out of the nursing program and she is stuck with a very big student loan - over $50K.
She's very unstable. She would call me to make plans, then back out at the last minute.

Anyways, I have for a long time wanted to break it off with her. I have many problems too, and she only adds to them.
But I was afraid it might send her over the edge and she would try suicide again, and then it would be my fault.
But I really wanted to be free of her. Shes has been a big burden on me.
And there was no reciprocation on her part.
I had surgery and needed a ride home back in June, but she said she couldn't because she "had plans with her friends".
So I really wanted to break it off, but just couldn't because I was afraid she would hurt herself.

I saw her a month ago and have not seen her since.
She doesn't know I have her instagram.
She started posting pics with guy where she lives (same city as the nursing school).
The pics started popping up right after the last time I saw her.
Apparently she has boyfriend now. And I have not heard from her.
It looks like I got my wish.
I am totally free of her.

I know it's for the best and I am lucky to have such a clean break.
But I'm depressed over it.
Even though this guy does not realize how much trouble may be coming his way...I am jealous that she is giving herself freely and willingly to him whereas I was only a business transaction to her (even though she said otherwise many times).
I'll get over it. Probably in a week or two.
But right now...I'm depressed even though I got exactly what I wanted.
Ever feel the same?
You should have seen this coming. You cannot take a person who is lame and needs to rely on others for money and expect them to be whole. And please think carefully about saying she was upmarket. I've spoken to guys who say this and they just hate the idea of admitting the woman was addicted to drugs or had mental health problems or had no education or whatever. High end ones know lots of languages, have many skills and a good education, they could easily earn as much other ways with their clothes on. They are not training to do something one day and certainly not something which is quite an ordinary badly paid job in comparison.
It's clear to me that she saw you as someone there to sort out her problems and give her money and no more. She cancelled at last minute when a more exciting, better looking, richer guy or whatever came along and fell back on you the other times. Which is what you should expect as a sugar daddy. Women who have a sugar daddy don't see those guys as people they see them as helpers and credit cards. They don't care about your problems or wishes or needs. You could have been free of her much quicker, the choice was yours. Now you pretend you are glad it all over, but this is not true, if you keep repeating it often enough you may eventually convince yourself it is the truth, but it is not. You would have her back like a shot.
 
Oh, I know about MGTOW.
I was on ROK for several years.
I've had some guys tell me they think I am a MGTOW type because I see escorts instead of lowering my sites and wifing up a mediocre looking woman.

But the truth is, I need female companionship. I get lonely and every so often I get attached to one, much to my detriment.
It never works out and never will. I keep telling myself to not care...but every few years, it happens.
The loneliness can be overwhelming at time. Hopefully this girl was the very last one.
You are smart to pay to be with a prostitute when you need to rather than making do with a mediocre looking woman. Most men will find fault with it when the truth is they are jealous they did not think of it or cannot afford it. You say sites when the word is sights.
 
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