I too, am "apparently happily married". I own a retail store and my husband is a pilot. We have a teenage daughter. Last year, I had concerns because the level of intimacy between my husband and I had dwindled to nothing. In December 09, I found he was having an affair with another woman. He says it wasn't intimate, but when I confronted her on FB, she changed her picture to a close-up of her breasts with a reserved sign. So, if it wasn't intimate, it was on it's way there after 9 months of flirting. He says it is over, yet he shows me the minimum of affection. I get more affection from strangers in my store than from him. I had a car accident 5 weeks ago resulting in my vehicle being totaled and I sustained a significant concussion and whiplash. I was taken to the hospital by ambulance because I lost consciousness after the impact. His only concern, "You didn't total the car, did you?" Well, no actually, I didn't, but the person hitting me did. He says if "I" want to go to counseling, I can. He doesn't feel there is anything wrong with him or our relationship. When I tell him my concerns about his 9 month relationship with another woman, he says, there is nothing to worry about. Nothing happened. I love you. I want to be with you forever. Well, I now have a problem, I love him. I have for 22 years, but now I do not trust or respect him and he expects me to fix it. Well he broke it, what is he doing to fix it? The last time we were intimate-intimate was Father's Day! I am 56, blonde and shapely and I get plenty of offers of companionship. But I am not the cheating kind. So what do I do trapped in this affectionless marriage. He also says, we are older, old people don't have sex that often. So, I should be happy with twice a year on my initiative. A side bar, I have seen on his laptop, he is servicing himself on porn sites when he is away. Any suggestions? Insights?