Apparently I'm ugly. ^^

[ShyNLonely]

I'm actually pretty cool in terms of my behaviour, I treat people with lot of respect, listener, never been in fight .... but I just have problem with me not being "socially normal". Like, people meet partners outside in bar in like 10 minutes. XD I couldn't have done that in 10 lifes, not in 10 minutes. I would love to be more socially functional, and not look like on needles all the time. I was really lucky to get my dad's IQ and charisma with my mothers emphaty for everyone and warm heart. And still stay humble and small in all that. But I kinda think that people who are louder and more confident get better in life.

 

[Moetan21]

Like I said , you really only need one.

And its a myth to think that confident and louder people do better. Some are overly sociable to hide what's really going on.
You're all good dude if youre born to be a triangle rather than a square be the best triangle you can be. Its a lot less exhausting then spending your whole entire life forcing your shape into something else.

 

[ShyNLonely]

When, life goes by my side, walking, ... and I'm just a shy observer of things ... and whenever I try to take controll, things just fell apart, got out of my hands. And "normal" people are "main actors" in their lives.

I'm not trying to be something that I'm not, I just want to be best version of myself. I'm too lazy to pretend. XD

 

[user 139760]

I would wager you are not actually ugly.  You are probably plain looking, same as 99 per cent of us.

This.

I've been called repulsive and I've been called a God (although that last one was probably the alcohol talking, it did give me a 5 minute cloud to fly on  ).
If I had to judge myself by looking at a mirror, I'd give myself 5/10 at best. Nice bone structure. Nice hair still, although balding, when mom cuts my hair (she's my official barber ;-) ) she has to take care to hide the slowly receiding hairline. Nose too big, ears too big. Slightly muscled, stocky build, not even remotely comparable to my wrestling days, but girls I know still say I look like I could take on a boxer (I couldn't). Nice eyes, but way too small, enough that people used to think I was on drugs. Actually got asked if I dealt once (not anymore, but I never took that crap).

A girl will see me, she'll either love me or hate me. Depending on who's the actor of the month on tv or what shows are playing, I'll be pretty or not. I've been compared to Nicolas Cage, Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise, Sylvester Stallone and Jensen Ackles, all of which have NOTHING in common with each other (except they're all richer than me, bastards ).

So, as I've come to realise through all of this over the last decades, as cliched as it sounds and as unbelievable as it may seem, beauty IS in the eye of the beholder. People see what they want to see.
Finding the person who sees you and likes you as an Adonis, well, that's a bit trickier. I've been single 10 years now. I'm getting older, compliments still come, but not as often. I'm not looking for them anymore either, which makes them all the more pleasant the few times they do.
So hang in there and don't despair. Be patient, young Padawan.

 

[DarkSelene]

Guess I'll be the ******* then... Looks matter on this planet. It's easier to get things you want, easier to make people like you, easier to make them feel attracted. It's very sweet the whole utopian idea that everyone is beautiful in their own way. Everyone should be treated the same way regardless of what they look like, I agree with that, but it's not what happens.
I'm not saying this so you feel self-conscious and go insane on yourself and on what makes you feel insecure, just trying to be realistic. Most things are very hard to change anyways... there's no exercise that will change your nose shape, etc.

If you want honest feedback, the internet is a good place because no one will try to coddle you. With that said... beauty is very subjective, we can all see generalized beautiful traits/standard beauty related patterns, but we will not all feel attracted to someone who looks like that. I.e.: Women usually find defined abs the hottest thing ever, I can clearly see a male body that would make most women drop their panties, but to me they're kinda weird. Maybe you're not in the generalized standard whatever sense of beauty things (I'm having a stroke lol), but you're attractive in different ways. Maybe a look, or how you smile, maybe your laugh...
Thinking about improving those attributes is not superficial. Maybe someone would think about the boost of self-esteem you'd get from looking pretty, but I'm just thinking about how much more confident you'd feel after achieving your goals and after seeing the different reaction on people, regarding you.
It is still improving yourself, especially making yourself feel better, even if there's no moral high ground involved.
I'd say don't go insane over it, beauty will never be the most important thing -- but if you're content with everything else, do what will make you feel accomplished.

 

[TheRealCallie]

If you want honest feedback, the internet is a good place because no one will try to coddle you.

This is sooo not true. There will be many that try to coddle you, especially on a forum like this.  I see it all the time, here and other places online.  Some people are so afraid of how they will look or afraid to hurt someone's feelings that they will lie or stretch the truth or simply tell you what you want to hear, just to avoid what I mentioned above.

 

[user 139760]

Of course, some people just might be wrong and it takes 2 quick google searches to be reminded of that people aren't generally that shallow.

https://www.google.ca/search?q=ugly...jg63YAhXq64MKHZHrAqQQ_AUICigB&biw=983&bih=482

https://www.google.ca/search?dcr=0&...19k1j0i8i30i19k1j0i8i10i30i19k1.0.YifW2CElp38

For the record, I don't coddle. I don't tell people what they want to hear. They want to hear it's someone else's fault, that there's a reason you feel no one wants you.

Truth? There isn't.
It's dumb luck.
"Bad honeysuckle happens to good people". That's life.
Like I said, don't get discouraged. It's also, as was pointed out, not a reason to not change your looks or work on them. But do it for YOU, not for anyone else.

 

[DarkSelene]

This is sooo not true. There will be many that try to coddle you, especially on a forum like this.  I see it all the time, here and other places online.  Some people are so afraid of how they will look or afraid to hurt someone's feelings that they will lie or stretch the truth or simply tell you what you want to hear, just to avoid what I mentioned above.

I think it's very different in a place like a forum where you're building connections, where you want to make acquaintances, where you have established who you are to this group of people, where you have friends, etc...

If one posts a picture in a place like reddit or... whatever, they most definitely will not get coddled because no one knows them, no one is looking to get anything from them and there's just no incentive overall to treat them well. Also, there's no need to sugarcoat things online because the person judging is not putting themselves out there like it'd happen irl if you were just looking at that person and judging them. They don't have to see what happens to that person after they rate them, they don't care about them or their emotional state... hell, they're almost just providing a service.

 

[TheRealCallie]

This is sooo not true. There will be many that try to coddle you, especially on a forum like this.  I see it all the time, here and other places online.  Some people are so afraid of how they will look or afraid to hurt someone's feelings that they will lie or stretch the truth or simply tell you what you want to hear, just to avoid what I mentioned above.

I think it's very different in a place like a forum where you're building connections, where you want to make acquaintances, where you have established who you are to this group of people, where you have friends, etc...

If one posts a picture in a place like reddit or... whatever, they most definitely will not get coddled because no one knows them, no one is looking to get anything from them and there's just no incentive overall to treat them well. Also, there's no need to sugarcoat things online because the person judging is not putting themselves out there like it'd happen irl if you were just looking at that person and judging them. They don't have to see what happens to that person after they rate them, they don't care about them or their emotional state... hell, they're almost just providing a service.

lol, are you serious?  Places like Reddit are where a lot of ******** dwell.  They aren't going to give you honesty, they are going to give you honeysuckle for the most part.  Places like here will tell you what you want to hear.  Places like Reddit will tell you the opposite.  Neither place is likely to tell you the truth.  One place doesn't want to hurt your feelings, the other likely does want to hurt your feelings.

 

[DarkSelene]

Meh... There's not a lot of incentive to be an ******* either. Plus, it's way easier to spot a troll than a sugarcoater, but, fair enough.

 

[Xpendable]

Only this place likes to cuddle.

 

[Sarah G]

I once, accidently, went into a 'hate room' on a video chat site. Hate rooms are video chat rooms where people insult one another. Until then I had often been really insecure about my looks (I am ugly) so I wouldn't have gone in there intentionally but it happened and people started saying things about how I look (that's all they had to go on, my video feed and anything I typed) and it just...totally got me over caring what people think or say about how I look. That my eyebrow game is weak and I have teeth like a bag of chips...my hair is like an old ladies pubic hair...who cares? One basically loses that game by crying or quitting the room in a huff and I made it about three months of being insulted until a friend followed me in there and they started being really cruel about his weight and I cried and quit the room, game over.

 

[user 139760]

Only this place likes to cuddle.

Would you like to cuddle?
I'm game.



"I cried and quit the room, game over."
See Sarah, that's something I wasn't computed to understand; why care when someone thinks badly of you.
Planet Earth is a big bad ball of dicks. It literally is and it's mathmathecally computable to.
In that optic, when someone actually says something bad about you...why care?
Who IS someone else to judge you as a person, wether it be your intelligence, your looks or anything else? WHO on this stinking ball of sweat, methane and pollution can claim to be better than anyone else?
No one is better than anyone else, they only think they are. In that optic, why not take? Take the good, screw the bad and to hell what people think.
But I realize not everyone is wired in the same way and that people do care.
I just wish they could look at themselves in the mirror and see past what they think they see and see what's actually there. Because it's unique and once it's gone, it'll never come back.

 

[Sarah G]

Only this place likes to cuddle.

Would you like to cuddle?
I'm game.



"I cried and quit the room, game over."
See Sarah, that's something I wasn't computed to understand; why care when someone thinks badly of you.
Planet Earth is a big bad ball of dicks. It literally is and it's mathmathecally computable to.
In that optic, when someone actually says something bad about you...why care?
Who IS someone else to judge you as a person, wether it be your intelligence, your looks or anything else? WHO on this stinking ball of sweat, methane and pollution can claim to be better than anyone else?
No one is better than anyone else, they only think they are. In that optic, why not take? Take the good, screw the bad and to hell what people think.
But I realize not everyone is wired in the same way and that people do care.
I just wish they could look at themselves in the mirror and see past what they think they see and see what's actually there. Because it's unique and once it's gone, it'll never come back.

Okay, that is the entire point of my post. Maybe I didn't make it clear enough. I had no problem at all with the insults directed at me and stayed for a few months. Only when they insulted my friend I cried and quit the room because for mysterious reasons it upset me to see my friend insulted.

 

[user 139760]

Only this place likes to cuddle.

Would you like to cuddle?
I'm game.



"I cried and quit the room, game over."
See Sarah, that's something I wasn't computed to understand; why care when someone thinks badly of you.
Planet Earth is a big bad ball of dicks. It literally is and it's mathmathecally computable to.
In that optic, when someone actually says something bad about you...why care?
Who IS someone else to judge you as a person, wether it be your intelligence, your looks or anything else? WHO on this stinking ball of sweat, methane and pollution can claim to be better than anyone else?
No one is better than anyone else, they only think they are. In that optic, why not take? Take the good, screw the bad and to hell what people think.
But I realize not everyone is wired in the same way and that people do care.
I just wish they could look at themselves in the mirror and see past what they think they see and see what's actually there. Because it's unique and once it's gone, it'll never come back.

Okay, that is the entire point of my post. Maybe I didn't make it clear enough. I had no problem at all with the insults directed at me and stayed for a few months. Only when they insulted my friend I cried and quit the room because for mysterious reasons it upset me to see my friend insulted.

Oh I know, I totally got that.
I just don't understand it, because I've never felt it. I don't understand why someone else's opinion when it's negative has any impact when it's being wilfully mean or ignorant.
Say my mom insults my friend, that would also upset me. But say the guy down the street does? That would make me laugh.
I just meant I don't understand it, is all. ;-)
I know it's horsecrap and I'd make sure my friend remembers it's horsecrap, too.

 

[Sarah G]

Only this place likes to cuddle.

Would you like to cuddle?
I'm game.



"I cried and quit the room, game over."
See Sarah, that's something I wasn't computed to understand; why care when someone thinks badly of you.
Planet Earth is a big bad ball of dicks. It literally is and it's mathmathecally computable to.
In that optic, when someone actually says something bad about you...why care?
Who IS someone else to judge you as a person, wether it be your intelligence, your looks or anything else? WHO on this stinking ball of sweat, methane and pollution can claim to be better than anyone else?
No one is better than anyone else, they only think they are. In that optic, why not take? Take the good, screw the bad and to hell what people think.
But I realize not everyone is wired in the same way and that people do care.
I just wish they could look at themselves in the mirror and see past what they think they see and see what's actually there. Because it's unique and once it's gone, it'll never come back.

Okay, that is the entire point of my post. Maybe I didn't make it clear enough. I had no problem at all with the insults directed at me and stayed for a few months. Only when they insulted my friend I cried and quit the room because for mysterious reasons it upset me to see my friend insulted.

Oh I know, I totally got that.
I just don't understand it, because I've never felt it. I don't understand why someone else's opinion when it's negative has any impact when it's being wilfully mean or ignorant.
Say my mom insults my friend, that would also upset me. But say the guy down the street does? That would make me laugh.
I just meant I don't understand it, is all. ;-)
I know it's horsecrap and I'd make sure my friend remembers it's horsecrap, too.

Oh, lol yeah, I don't know, I can't explain the phenomenon I just lost the plot when they tried to hurt my buddy. Totally weird as he is big and ugly enough to defend himself. Maybe it was a control issue, most things in life that upset or disturb me are control issues.

 

[ShyNLonely]

I was walking my dog and having dinner, answering some messages, and I've got like 2 pages on topic. Will carefully read it tomorrow when I wake, since I'm super tired ... going off now. Sry.

 

[Moetan21]

I once, accidently, went into a 'hate room' on a video chat site. Hate rooms are video chat rooms where people insult one another. I have always been really insecure about my looks (I am ugly) so I wouldn't have gone in there intentionally but it happened and people started saying things about how I look (that's all they had to go on, my video feed and anything I typed) and it just...totally got me over caring what people think or say about how I look. That my eyebrow game is weak and I have teeth like a bag of chips...my hair is like an old ladies pubic hair...who cares? One basically loses that game by crying or quitting the room in a huff and I made it about three months of being insulted until a friend followed me in there and they started being really cruel about his weight and I cried and quit the room, game over.

What the? Those chatrooms exist?

 

[Sarah G]

I once, accidently, went into a 'hate room' on a video chat site. Hate rooms are video chat rooms where people insult one another. I have always been really insecure about my looks (I am ugly) so I wouldn't have gone in there intentionally but it happened and people started saying things about how I look (that's all they had to go on, my video feed and anything I typed) and it just...totally got me over caring what people think or say about how I look. That my eyebrow game is weak and I have teeth like a bag of chips...my hair is like an old ladies pubic hair...who cares? One basically loses that game by crying or quitting the room in a huff and I made it about three months of being insulted until a friend followed me in there and they started being really cruel about his weight and I cried and quit the room, game over.

What the? Those chatrooms exist?

It was a few years ago now but no doubt they still exist. That is a whole new level of loneliness, drinking and being abused by random strangers, lol. I lived in one room at that time. I dunno. I used to be kind of dead inside.

 

[TheLoadedDog]

Sarah WTF  is it with people on here proclaiming physical ugliness?   
It seems everyone is doing it.  I have a face like the back of a bus.  But I don't care.  It's my face, and I rock it.  Some women seem to not to have mnded it.


I'm sure you are pretty.  Do not worry.

---

I don't do cuddles though., I am REALLY uptight. There is only one lady I want to cuddle, and I cannot. The rest of humanity (all six billion of you) can bugger off. I was infamous in my family as a baby. A parent would pick me up, and I would lean away. I didn't like it. Uptightness rules.