Are shy guys really appreciated by women?

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

What did she say?

LOL, I can't see what she's writing. She's on my ignore list.

But I am not looking for people to understand my social anxiety. I have had problems with social anxiety since I was in preschool, that's what my mom said. I used to have mini panic attacks on the playground.

That being said, it hasn't stopped me from having friends. I still have plenty of friends. They know about my panic attacks, because I tell them. I don't sugarcoat things. The few people that haven't understood, I have cut off from my life...I still have a close circle of about 10-15 friends, who understand that I sometimes need to be left alone, and they respect that. My best friend from high school, who has been my friend for 15 years now, still calls me and we get together every now and then. I have friends going back 20 years, back to when I was 9, and they are still my friends.

However, whatever easy issues I have with forming friendships, it eludes me when it comes to forming romantic relationships. I used to go at both in the same manner, thinking that a relationship would just fall into my lap...same as I easily make friends. It's not been my experience, and I am at the point where I honestly don't know whether or not I should turn to PUA (Pick Up Artists) manuals, even though I detest the idea of tricking women.

 

[VanillaCreme]

How childish... I don't agree with what you think so you ignore me. Grow up, dude.

 

[Anten]

I don't think those PUA books really work. You can try it though.

 

[EveWasFramed]

:club:

Back up and regroup = no more fighting. (D)

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Anten, I have "The Game" on my ebook reader. I also have a "Self Esteem Self Help" ebook, that was free, but is supposed to be really good.

I am going to read both soon, in between my schoolwork. I also have a hard copy of "Dating For Dummies", as well as something called "The Shy Single"...both might be helpful.

 

[Anten]

I read "The Game" back in 2007 and it was good but nothing I would take out into the world and try to use.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I mostly want to read it out of curiosity.

I know I'm not attractive enough to become a player, so it would just be for laughs.

 

[Stormrider]

It's not been my experience, and I am at the point where I honestly don't know whether or not I should turn to PUA (Pick Up Artists) manuals, even though I detest the idea of tricking women.

Kinda similar to me, I want people to like me for who I am, and not for who I can pretend to be for a while. (if that makes any sense)

But if the books work, let me know, I hear those dummies books are actually good (but that was from someone that started to play guitar with guitar for dummies )

 

[Anten]

I know I'm not attractive enough to become a player, so it would just be for laughs.

That was the point of the books that you don't need to be attractive to attract women. A bunch of non attractive guys found the formal to get women in the sack.

 

[Ak5]

All you need is confidence.

 

[EveWasFramed]

All you need is confidence.

hmmm...


I feel that confidence is something that (mostly) comes from positive experiences.

 

[Ak5]

All you need is confidence.

hmmm...


I feel that confidence is something that (mostly) comes from positive experiences.

You gotta trust yourself first.

 

[Anten]

All you need is confidence.

hmmm...


I feel that confidence is something that (mostly) comes from positive experiences.

I agree, it is hard to believe in yourself after years of rejections.

 

[Ak5]

Your choice, not mine.

 

[Peter Lorre]

That's why when you wake up every morning, the first thing you should do is look in the mirror, wink at yourself and say 'hey stud'.

 

[EveWasFramed]

All you need is confidence.

hmmm...


I feel that confidence is something that (mostly) comes from positive experiences.

You gotta trust yourself first.

Trust is earned. Even when its coming from YOURSELF.
I still think MOST confidence (especially dealing with the opposite sex) comes from positives experiences. The more positive experiences you have, the more confident you become.

 

[annik]

Brad Pitt isn't attractive to all of us.

Exactly!

Wow men seem to like him though.

I haven't read everything here but I'm a woman so feel qualified to answer this question.

Personally yes and I mean in both a cute way and a yes I'd like to sleep with him way.

However generally I just find a lot of the questions here a bit like how long is a piece of string. The answer to most if not all is "yes some will, no some won't".

Sorry if that seems bitchy but surely people know that anyway and just want opinions, options and help? So why don't people ask for that rather than these endless do girls like this do guys like that worded threads?

Wow I'm bold tonight.

 

[VanillaCreme]

So why don't people ask for that rather than these endless do girls like this do guys like that worded threads?

Because everyone's looking for an easy answer. When truth be told, there is no easy answer. If it were one set answer for everything, we'd all be manufactured robots.

It seems to me that some people are becoming very lazy at things in life, and it's easier for them to throw the blame on doctored up terms than to just say, "Hey I need to work on how I act towards people and just relax about things."

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

So why don't people ask for that rather than these endless do girls like this do guys like that worded threads?

I guess I should have phrased it, "Are shy guys really appreciated by *some* women?"

Of course, nothing is black or white. Everything is shades in between. I can see that.

And I guess I got my answer, which is: I need to work more on my social anxiety, before I can even think about dating.

 

[Bones]

A boatload of negative experiences here; hence, my problem.

...

...

...

...I still think MOST confidence (especially dealing with the opposite sex) comes from positives experiences. The more positive experiences you have, the more confident you become.