Are you clingy or distant?

[Okiedokes]

Which type of person are you when it comes to people and relationships? What are your experiences with one or the other? How does it impact you?

 

[Lombax]

I have never been in any kind of relationship--and I honestly don't ever want to be in one--but I always feel that I am clingy when I try to build friendships. I've been trying really hard to overcome my anxiety to make a new friend, but I am so worried that this person thinks I am clingy and annoying...so I am giving up.

Oddly enough, one of my (few) friends actually told me that I was distant whenever we see each other face-to-face. I seem to be two different people when talking over email and face-to-face.

 

[Felix]

I'll talk about friendships, never had a gf. I've had good friendships over the years but lately they've been ruined because I was too patient, too tolerant of those person's problems. I like being nice to people and they can take that for granted. Eventully they start abusing the fact that I'm too nice to them. So it becomes unbearable after a while and I have to end it...

I'm sort of clingy I guess. I get close to a person once I get to know he/she. But I'm not annoying, I give space.

What about you, OP?

 

[Badjedidude]

I think most people gravitate between the two, depending on circumstance, mood, situation, etc etc etc.

Mostly it's the severely emotionally damaged/immature that only stay either one of those for any great length of time, without any variation.

But if you held a gun to my head and forced me to choose one, I'd say I'm distant more than I am clingy.

 

[Barbaloot]

I'm usually quite distant, but I have my moments when I'm quite clingy. And I generally prefer a clingy man.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm usually kind of distant. As in, I don't call people often, and I don't reach out to talk to them. Not that I mind talking to people, but I don't go out of my way to do so. It's not because I don't want to be bothered; It's simply because I just don't think about it.

 

[landlocked]

I've been accused of both, but don't think I'm either.

I was with a recovering heroin addict who took my attempts to talk with her daily as clingy. I felt no need for it, but thought she might be comforted knowing I was there for her.

The closest thing I have to a friend often(whenever I talk to her) accuses me of being distant. Just because I haven't talked to her in a year doesn't mean she's not in my heart constantly. I'm secure in the relationship, how is that distant?

I guess I'm "distant" as a norm.

 

[guld]

I think I definitly have the potential of being a clingy person (thinking about friendships), though I kind of think it's because I just like to have a lot of contact with people. In a real relationship though - don't think I would be (mostly because of fear of being just that ;p! Plus what I've come to realise is some sort of trust issues).

 

[Callie]

I would suppose it would depend on the guy and how much I trust him. Because of my past, I usually hide a lot of my emotions. So, more often than not I keep myself pretty distant, but I think with the right guy, if I trusted him enough, I might get a little clingy.

 

[Astral_Punisher]

I'm quite distant, primarily because people are pretty shallow, and I tire of them almost immediately.
Whats the point of being 'clingy' to someone when they provide you little to no mental stimulation?

I've been with clingy girls before - it was never fun, as they simply wanted me to do everything with them, then eventually, they made me plan out things for us to do, when I had absolutely no want to spend any time with them. I would usually break it off pretty quickly after that.

I've also noticed that these clingy girls tended to have little to no lives of their own (activities, blubs, groups, friends, etc), so my presence in their life was that of 'entertainer' and 'lord-high planner' of activities. I was constantly tasked with keeping them 'happy' and 'busy'.

God, it sucked.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Not sure what I'd be in a relationship, but it's a constant fear to me that I'd be clingy.

I like to do things for people and make them feel happy. So unfortunately that probably translates to "Calling her every 5 minutes to see if she wants to do something" :\

 

[floffyschneeman]

I'm distant to friends but clingy to lover.

 

[Bob Arctor]

I would describe myself as clistant.

 

[Okiedokes]

I'll talk about friendships, never had a gf. I've had good friendships over the years but lately they've been ruined because I was too patient, too tolerant of those person's problems. I like being nice to people and they can take that for granted. Eventully they start abusing the fact that I'm too nice to them. So it becomes unbearable after a while and I have to end it...

I'm sort of clingy I guess. I get close to a person once I get to know he/she. But I'm not annoying, I give space.

What about you, OP?

It really depends... it really does. I think I enjoy moments of clingyness and also space. There needs to be an equal amount of it in my friendships/relationships. The funny part is it depends on who it is.. some people I enjoy being around more than others. Too much of either isn't fun. Especially distant.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I have issues with distance. Sometimes I can get clingy and then the person is turned off, but then i just shut off and become really distant and they wonder wtf happened...

The story of me.

 

[Lombax]

I have issues with distance. Sometimes I can get clingy and then the person is turned off, but then i just shut off and become really distant and they wonder wtf happened...

The story of me.

Recently I have been noticing these same behaviors in myself, actually. In my case, while the person probably wonders what happened, I am sure he's glad that I am not attempting to talk to him anymore. :\

 

[Okiedokes]

Yeah..that is one thing.. if I come off as clingy it kind of bothers me and I back away. I never want to be someones burden.

 

[Ak5]

For me: I don't know. I'd probably be clingy, but I have to wait until I start dating once I'm in school.

 

[AllAlone1]

I'm quite distant, primarily because people are pretty shallow, and I tire of them almost immediately.
Whats the point of being 'clingy' to someone when they provide you little to no mental stimulation?

I've been with clingy girls before - it was never fun, as they simply wanted me to do everything with them, then eventually, they made me plan out things for us to do, when I had absolutely no want to spend any time with them. I would usually break it off pretty quickly after that.

I've also noticed that these clingy girls tended to have little to no lives of their own (activities, blubs, groups, friends, etc), so my presence in their life was that of 'entertainer' and 'lord-high planner' of activities. I was constantly tasked with keeping them 'happy' and 'busy'.

God, it sucked.

Sad to hear that because this sounds almost like the kind of relationship I'd love to have with a woman because I truly believe I have a superman complex, so it almost sounds like this would fit me perfectly but I agree with you on the mental stimulation part. I can't stand being around an airhead for too long.

I'm distant to friends but clingy to lover.

That's so me!

Yeah..that is one thing.. if I come off as clingy it kind of bothers me and I back away. I never want to be someones burden.

There's been a few times where I have actually felt this too but its very rare but when it did happen, there was an enormous amount guilt attached along with a great deal of other confusing emotions. Definitely not a great feeling to me.

But the bottom line is I am definitely clingy guy and would definitely prefer a clingy woman over a distant one any day of the week! To be honest I have been looking for a dating site that caters specifically to clingy people but haven't found one yet! You'd think with all the specialty dating sites that exist out there that somebody would've thought of this by now! How in the world did they miss this one?! If I knew how I would definitely create one myself, it definitely sounds like somewhat of cash cow since no one else is doing it and if nothing else I'd definitely feel good about bringing tons of clingy people together!!!

 

[blackdot]

I'm distant unless you are a female and seem interested in me in which case I become clingy.