Bully victims need to let it go

[ladyforsaken]

There are billions of people in the world, and those that are unhappy are the ones who have decided to be unhappy. If I go into a sombrero store I am doing that because I want a sombrero. And if I feel bad because I was bullied, I am feeling bad because I want to.

Being bullied is nothing like rape, because rape is something that traumatizes people. If you are raped you can go to a support group to start putting your life back together. Even if it doesn't work, you are making it your choice whether you are miserable or not. Bully support groups don't exist because people whom are bullied are not traumatized, unless they choose to be.

I like being happy, so I choose to be. So if you're miserable you have no one but yourself to blame. Bullied people should get a job and a relationship, and then they'll be happy. But they are just too lazy.

This is something unhappy people need to hear, whether they like it or not. But they'll probably just ignore the truth because they want to be miserable.

Being bullied and being raped has obvious similarities you're not seeing, there's no doubt which one is 'worse' ... if that's your point. People who are bullied can be effected for the rest of their lives, for the most extreme cases it's not just mental, either. It's not uncommon for people do develop emotional abnormalities from these "non-traumatic" events, or even for people to take their own lives.

From what you say people should simply BE happy; it's not like you've lost some money and you can choose weather to dwell on it or not, it's much more deeper and complex than that. If it was that easy do you really think so many people would choose to be miserable?

And bullying groups do exist; a learning environment where you can attend with friends, family or bully victims to develop the skills and techniques required to deal with it, but most of all know that you're not alone.

+1

 

[Sci-Fi]

Okay, people need to thing before they post. I've seen some rather touchy remarks here and it better stop. First of all we WILL NOT be comparing bullying or anything to rape, that comparison ends right now.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

One of the reasons people bully is because the people they pick on can't let go. It's kind of hard to get a laugh out of picking on someone when the person you're picking on does nothing. It's hard to bully a statue.

I surely hope you aren't one of the bullies, because, speaking as a long term member, you aren't welcome here if you treat people that way. I don't care if you're young or not.

^ Well, that was rude of you.

Anyways, hating people takes too much effort and energy. It's best to learn from it and move on. Nobody is going to get over something hurtful just like that, but making the decision to get over it is always a good choice.

That came out badly.

What I meant to say is, if she is speaking from personal experience of bullying others, that isn't ok. She needs to sit down and really think about how she treats others, because, for a laugh or not, there is still someone else who's being attacked.

If she is speaking from observation, maybe she can speak to the bullies, and let them know it isn't okay?

I just saw that and got defensive. Yes, it was a laugh to pick on me when I was manic, but what was even funnier was that I didn't understand why I was being attacked. At least, to them. To me, I developed Body Dismorphic Disorder and Social Anxiety, and lost out on relationships, adult friendships, and graduating with a degree, all because of what happened to me in high school. Only now, at 31, am I starting to put it behind me, and move on.

 

[Rainbows]

The bullying was awful but I refuse to "just let it go". I remember those moments and because of that I know what I stand for. Who I never want to be nor my future kids.

Bullies made a great impact on me, negatively. And sometimes I feel like crap because of all the things that happened - and that's not because I want to feel miserable, but just because I am miserable.


@Leaningintothemuse: I don't think GrannySmith was implying that she's bullied others? Isn't that what people often say? "If you stop reacting to the bullies they'll stop bullying you cos there's no fun in bullying someone who doesn't react?" At least, that's what my teachers told me; It didn't work though, but hey!

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I've often said that I will homeschool any future kids I have, because I don't want them to go through what I went through. What I've learned from being in the public school system is that it is a nightmare.

 

[Boring-Weirdo]

Bullying isn't real because the only people who are bullied are those that let themselves be. That's something that doesn't even need to be stated because everyone already knows it. The problem isn't bullying, but people trying to take the easy way out by asking for sympathy. If bullying were a real problem it wouldn't be tolerated. Anything that hasn't been righted is not a real problem.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Bullying isn't real because the only people who are bullied are those that let themselves be. That's something that doesn't even need to be stated because everyone already knows it. The problem isn't bullying, but people trying to take the easy way out by asking for sympathy. If bullying were a real problem it wouldn't be tolerated. Anything that hasn't been righted is not a real problem.

 

[Rainbows]

Bullying isn't real because the only people who are bullied are those that let themselves be. That's something that doesn't even need to be stated because everyone already knows it. The problem isn't bullying, but people trying to take the easy way out by asking for sympathy. If bullying were a real problem it wouldn't be tolerated. Anything that hasn't been righted is not a real problem.

...
I had many conversations with many people to try to stop the bullying.
I got bullied for my last name. I never asked for sympathy when I was being bullied. I never did anything against the bullies except ignore them. Yet they continued.

I ignored them, they threatened me. Only because of my last name and they thought it was funny.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I was bullied for wearing glasses, and for liking other types of music (prog rock.) All the while, people were listening to The Backstreet Boys. Also, having a high voice at that time (how is that my fault? I hadn't gone through puberty yet!)

I can sort of emphasize with school shooters, most of who were bullied. How messed up is that? And I'm NOT a violent person.

 

[Boring-Weirdo]

I can sort of emphasize with school shooters, most of who were bullied. How messed up is that? And I'm NOT a violent person.

How dare you... How.. Dare... You..

You like school shooters? That's crazy, and dangerous. Are you under psychiatric care?

Someone who is being killed by a gun has a real problem, being bullied is not the same. Do you realize how many people are hurt when there are school shootings?

It's insane to say that school shootings are okay, but bullying is so much worse.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I can sort of emphasize with school shooters, most of who were bullied. How messed up is that? And I'm NOT a violent person.

How dare you... How.. Dare... You..

You like school shooters? That's crazy, and dangerous. Are you under psychiatric care?

Someone who is being killed by a gun has a real problem, being bullied is not the same. Do you realize how many people are hurt when there are school shootings?

It's insane to say that school shootings are okay, but bullying is so much worse.

That's as bad as you saying that bullying doesn't exist. Psychologists know it exists. Every therapist I've been to have cited my past abuse from bullying as why I'm there in the first place.

Emphasizing with doesn't mean I would do it. I am a pacifist. I hate guns. I don't like anybody getting killed.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Bullying isn't real....

If bullying were a real problem it wouldn't be tolerated. Anything that hasn't been righted is not a real problem.

Like racism for example?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It's not funny. He's a ******* idiot.

 

[EveWasFramed]

It's not funny. He's a ******* idiot.

Anyone with opinions as absurd as his is pretty funny to me. I must disagree.

Ps. No name calling. Also, calm down please...there's no reason for you to leave here because of his opinions. I've yet to see ONE person agree with him.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It's not funny. He's a ******* idiot.

Anyone with opinions as absurd as his is pretty funny to me. I must disagree.

Well, for my sanity, I think I need to just ignore him.

 

[EveWasFramed]

It's not funny. He's a ******* idiot.

Anyone with opinions as absurd as his is pretty funny to me. I must disagree.

Well, for my sanity, I think I need to just ignore him.

I kinda figure half the forum already is.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It just goes to show how sensitive I still am. I really fell for that.

 

[Batman55]

I hate to say it because the thread is about a sensitive topic, but i must admit I had a good laugh over some of the things that were said, and happened here. TheMuse's "Picard Facepalm" especially, lol

And some ridiculous things said by someone else, who shall not be named

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I have a feeling it's a returned poster, probably pranking us all.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Bullying isn't real because the only people who are bullied are those that let themselves be. That's something that doesn't even need to be stated because everyone already knows it. The problem isn't bullying, but people trying to take the easy way out by asking for sympathy. If bullying were a real problem it wouldn't be tolerated. Anything that hasn't been righted is not a real problem.

I work with youngsters a lot in my line of work. I've got the privilege to know this kid who was bullied by her so-called friends... and having spoken to her, it broke my heart to realise that she was already so emotionally and psychologically affected that she kept thinking of suicide. They taunted her so much that it pressured her and made her feel like it will never end. So she attempted suicide.. I spoke to her friends, and I was there for her every single day, all the way until she graduated secondary school.

When I interact with young people, I realise they do not know any better, they do not know what we as adults, do. They have not experienced life enough to be stronger than you or me, to think that they can just try to ignore it or seek help etc. Some just do not know what to do or have no one to turn to, or even if they do, nothing is done to help them appropriately. To them, the problem, the pain and the hurt will not end.

It's easier for you to say that they let it happen to them, but most of the time, these kids feel powerless and intimidated and it isn't because they allow for it to happen, but it's mainly because they feel small and scared.

Kids are still kids.. no matter how many school talks are being held in schools to create awareness about bullying, it is always different story altogether when bullying is actually taking place in a kid's life, where emotions are involved.