I am in a constant war with my brain..
I tell it what to do and it listens. I tell it what to say, it listens. I tell it what to feel and it continualy goes in the complete opposite direction and than convinces me to do or say something something stupid.. Which i allow at the time, because it seems like a good idea.. But it's usuaully not and makes me look foolish..
I've always had friends, but i was The friend.. I've never truly had a real relationship.. Lately, i've met a few different women who were intrested in me... One who just went right after me.. I was shocked at first.. I wasn't sure why, but as the night went on we had a good time and one thing led to the other etc etc..... Than the next day i go back into my shell... I start analyzing everything, and before anything had even started i ended it.. Sorry etc w/e bullshit excuse i could think of.. Just like that, for no real reason.
I know, whats my point right? This is the second time in a short period of months, a nice, funny, awesome girl likes me, and i tell her i have no interest.. Just to go back to "waiting" on a girl, who i know is never going to be with me.. WTF is wrong with my head? Is it that whole you want what you cant have crap? Like i can't rationalize it to myself lol. I tell myself i want a girlfriend, i just want to be happy... And than i don't even give it a chance..
Iono
Thanks for reading
I tell it what to do and it listens. I tell it what to say, it listens. I tell it what to feel and it continualy goes in the complete opposite direction and than convinces me to do or say something something stupid.. Which i allow at the time, because it seems like a good idea.. But it's usuaully not and makes me look foolish..
I've always had friends, but i was The friend.. I've never truly had a real relationship.. Lately, i've met a few different women who were intrested in me... One who just went right after me.. I was shocked at first.. I wasn't sure why, but as the night went on we had a good time and one thing led to the other etc etc..... Than the next day i go back into my shell... I start analyzing everything, and before anything had even started i ended it.. Sorry etc w/e bullshit excuse i could think of.. Just like that, for no real reason.
I know, whats my point right? This is the second time in a short period of months, a nice, funny, awesome girl likes me, and i tell her i have no interest.. Just to go back to "waiting" on a girl, who i know is never going to be with me.. WTF is wrong with my head? Is it that whole you want what you cant have crap? Like i can't rationalize it to myself lol. I tell myself i want a girlfriend, i just want to be happy... And than i don't even give it a chance..
Iono
Thanks for reading