Crushes all the time?

[Panda]

I find myself falling for guys I've hardly met, I get crushes on guys minutes after meeting them, day dreaming on what it would be like. I've had a crush on every guy in my class in college including the lecturer. I even get silly crushes on guys in films, bands and books (currently korean filmstar lee junki and fictional character Edward cullen ).

A couple I've had have been almost painful, I was almost certain I loved my lecturer in college. All he did was talk to me, and I'd never actually go past my limit as his student but, I felt really depressed because of it because I knew I couldn't be with him. I know now that it wasn't love, but i keep torturing myself over these things.

Am I just really lonely? More than anything I want someone, a boyfriend, someone to wake up to, someone to talk on the phone with or go anywhere with just for the sake of it, someone I can just share everything with and be best friends with. I hate being alone and single, I can't stand my own company anymore.

 

[jjam]

I know the feeling too well, and I think it goes back to just being lonely. I feel it's indicative of desperation. It's not exactly the kind of state I like being in, to be honest.

One day you'll find someone.

 

[SighX99]

I find myself falling for guys I've hardly met, I get crushes on guys minutes after meeting them, day dreaming on what it would be like. I've had a crush on every guy in my class in college including the lecturer. I even get silly crushes on guys in films, bands and books (currently korean filmstar lee junki and fictional character Edward cullen ).

A couple I've had have been almost painful, I was almost certain I loved my lecturer in college. All he did was talk to me, and I'd never actually go past my limit as his student but, I felt really depressed because of it because I knew I couldn't be with him. I know now that it wasn't love, but i keep torturing myself over these things.

Am I just really lonely? More than anything I want someone, a boyfriend, someone to wake up to, someone to talk on the phone with or go anywhere with just for the sake of it, someone I can just share everything with and be best friends with. I hate being alone and single, I can't stand my own company anymore.

i used to have crushes all the time, until one of those crushes crushed me instead... everyones in the same boat here only that ur probably more attractive than me

 

[bookbinder]

Hello, Panda.

Some people around here call me Panda too. (The reason should be obvious. )

But anyways, as far as the 24/7 crush thing you seem to have- that's normal. You're just looking for someone to experience and appreciate life with. Since you feel so alone, your "radar", if you will, is hypersensitive; you pick up even the tiniest indicator that someone may be right for you. That's my take, anyway.

Again, hello...welcome to the forum.

 

[Rawr!]

I find myself falling for guys I've hardly met, I get crushes on guys minutes after meeting them, day dreaming on what it would be like. I've had a crush on every guy in my class in college including the lecturer. I even get silly crushes on guys in films, bands and books (currently korean filmstar lee junki and fictional character Edward cullen ).

A couple I've had have been almost painful, I was almost certain I loved my lecturer in college. All he did was talk to me, and I'd never actually go past my limit as his student but, I felt really depressed because of it because I knew I couldn't be with him. I know now that it wasn't love, but i keep torturing myself over these things.

Am I just really lonely? More than anything I want someone, a boyfriend, someone to wake up to, someone to talk on the phone with or go anywhere with just for the sake of it, someone I can just share everything with and be best friends with. I hate being alone and single, I can't stand my own company anymore.

I hear ya dudette. Sucks being alone. But ya gotta go out and meet some peeps, ya know? Ya nevah gonna find what you're lookin' for unless you hit the pavement (not literally...you'll break your hand). Get out there, start shakin' some hands. You'll get there. You'll find your man. Or something.





Disclaimer: Uh, I've never actually followed my own advice, so...good luck with that. lol.

 

[Jeremi]

hehe, wow, I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I had a crush on my whole class in both grade school and high school. I got a crush on most females at my work. I can get a crush on a female employee in some random store where I buy something. I don't really know if it's actually a real "crush" as much as me and my wild imagination day-dreaming off like usual. Like when I walk into a store and buy something from a really cute woman who smile and tell me to have a nice day, I walk out and think "Wow, she was really nice to me. I wonder if she have a boyfriend. What would it be like if I asked her out ect ect.... get married ect.... have childen ect...."

It's probably just a sign of desperation, but there's nothing wrong in having feelings for other people, right? It's not like you're hurting anyone, except for yourself maybe, but I've learned to not have any expectations. I just tell myself "yeah, keep dreaming"

The only thing that worries me is, how am I supposed to know when I meet the right one, if I get these feelings for most females I meet? ><

 

[davechaos]

I think crushes are totally normal...we look at others in a totally different way...we look on them that their life is perfect and what it would be to be a part of their life.

I think others think the same way about us. My career is wonderful and I own my own house and car...to the outside I must be incredibly well liked and I know that people would want to have what I have...but on the inside there is this no confidence person who is a wreck at evenings and the weekends...would they really want to be me if they really knew me.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. There will always be crushes...mine were usually the lead lady in action films...or the lead lady in things like Star Wars lol. But we do imagine what our life would be like with them in it...and isn't it always wonderful.

The reality is that it is never like that.

 

[ClosetGeek]

I am not sure if this falls under a "crush". I do daydream a lot about the men that I meet, but in a sexual way. I don't think about dating them or marrying them. I am in the office, in comes in my coworker who is really flirty and handsome and makes a naughty comment, few minutes later I am daydreaming about a scenario where I am having a sexual moment with him.
When go to sleep at night, I also have dreams about me having really passionate and great sex with men whom I never kissed or anything.
Do any of you have similar experiences?
I used to work with this guy and we used to flirt like crazy but for some reason we never hooked up. I used to daydream about him in a sexual way all the time. He told our common friend that he did the same thing.
P.s. I think this has to do with the fact that I am a late bloomer.
My former geeky life: http://www.alonelylife.com/new-girl-dont-bite-p-t-3250-2.html#pid42555
What do you guys think?
P.p.s I am not a nympho lol

 

[Panda]

Thanks jjam, sighx99, zraskolnikov, tawr!, Jeremi, davechaos and closetgeek!

The only thing that worries me is, how am I supposed to know when I meet the right one, if I get these feelings for most females I meet? ><

Yeah I worry about that too. When I like someone i get completely carried away and everyone i meet seems "the right one", it's only after that I realise I'm being ridiculous but at the time it feels real. It is confusing though, because I can never tell if it's real or me just day dreaming again. And either way, it's usually one sided anyway.

"I am not sure if this falls under a "crush". I do daydream a lot about the men that I meet, but in a sexual way. I don't think about dating them or marrying them. I am in the office, in comes in my coworker who is really flirty and handsome and makes a naughty comment, few minutes later I am daydreaming about a scenario where I am having a sexual moment with him.
When go to sleep at night, I also have dreams about me having really passionate and great sex with men whom I never kissed or anything.
Do any of you have similar experiences?
I used to work with this guy and we used to flirt like crazy but for some reason we never hooked up. I used to daydream about him in a sexual way all the time. He told our common friend that he did the same thing.
P.s. I think this has to do with the fact that I am a late bloomer.
My former geeky life: http://www.alonelylife.com/new-girl-dont...l#pid42555
What do you guys think?
P.p.s I am not a nympho lol"

I have thought about some people i like in intimate situations but usually i try to avoid it because if they're real people (and not fictional characters or game characters - oh god i can't believe i just admitted that haha) then i'd probably find it really hard (or, harder) to look them in the eye haha. p.s I don't think you're a nympho don't worry! !

I think half of the time I get so carried way with these thoughts that i start to believe i might be in love with them, or that I could be and that I could somehow convince them to love me back, which is stupid I know. It gets me down because it's like falling in love then having your heart broken over and over, because of course, i did really believe at the time that I loved them. Not to mention, all of it is completely one sided.

 

[ClosetGeek]

I have thought about some people i like in intimate situations but usually i try to avoid it because if they're real people (and not fictional characters or game characters - oh god i can't believe i just admitted that haha) then i'd probably find it really hard (or, harder) to look them in the eye haha.

Oh me too. If I look at them in the eye, I usually blush, get sweaty hands and start being fidgety. A few weeks back I went to have some drinks with some guy I met, he went to the gents and I started to daydream. He came back and started to stare at me in the eye. I got really nervous and almost knocked over a glass of wine. I am glad he caught the glass before it fell on his lap. lol.

 

[Panda]

Haha, aw! I'm usually like that around guys normally, i think i'd be a complete disaster waiting to happen if It's someone i'd just been day dreaming about haha.

 

[bookbinder]

Haha, aw! I'm usually like that around guys normally, i think i'd be a complete disaster waiting to happen if It's someone i'd just been day dreaming about haha.

You need to learn how to flirt. It makes the transition from daydreaming to face-to-face interaction a whole lot smoother.

 

[Panda]

To be honest I don't even think i have the confidence to flirt or approach anyone, that's one of my problems right there. The furthest I go is just to like someone secretly, knowing that it's probably the most I'm going to get right now. xx

 

[bookbinder]

I wrote this somewhere else, but applies:

Confidence stems from one's own desire to take a piece of the world for themselves, whether it's a relationship, a high-paying job, whatever. You have to think in terms of "I deserve whatever the fresia I want, because I'm the honeysuckle." Simply decide why you're the honeysuckle, decide what you deserve and if you do it right, confidence will follow.

 

[Outlawstarl337]

Zrask i like your thought on confidence but for me it works alot better to just protend im cofedent because if you act like it long enuff youll become it right ^^
well any ways i wish i was more like you guys always having crushes. i seem to have a late reaction to every thing. if i like some one i wont relize it tell after they're gone. and thats only because i start to think about how i miss them and such. a pet or animal dies i dont feel anything tell i think about it a few years later. i think this stems from moving around alot and having alot of pets that died. so i think you guy and girls having crushes all the time is better then not having them at all. and by the way im 17

 

[Panda]

i like your thought on confidence but for me it works alot better to just protend im cofedent because if you act like it long enuff youll become it right

Oddly enough I've been considering that. I've got university coming up and it's a new chance for me to make new friends. I know that, if i go in from the start as myself, painfully shy, then I'll just be seen in the same light as i am in college. If I can somehow fake some sort of confidence then people might actually treat me like a normal person which might help me in the long run.

It'd be better to actually be confidant for real obviously but the longer I'm alone (especially now over the summer that college has just finished), the worse i am, and the less confidant I'll be when University starts.
I wonder though, is it really right to not be yourself?

soph x

 

[bookbinder]

I wonder though, is it really right to not be yourself?

If you want to change something about yourself, it's not really not being yourself. It's you making a conscious decision to be a better you. Self-improvement, you might say.

"Not beinging yourself" is when you change yourself just because someone else wants you to and you'd prefer not to.

You sound like you don't enjoy being shy. Taking steps to be more confident, i.e., pretending that you are, is not necessarily not being you; it's you trying to be better.

Word to the wise, though: For someone who has social anxiety, pretending alone might not work. Hence, my advice above- find something you like about yourself and use that as a basis for your confidence so that you don't have to try so hard to pretend, because it's actually true.

If you'd like to talk about this further, feel free to pm me. I used to be one shy ************, so I understand a little bit about what you're going through.

 

[Freakin_Amazin]

i like your thought on confidence but for me it works alot better to just protend im cofedent because if you act like it long enuff youll become it right

Oddly enough I've been considering that. I've got university coming up and it's a new chance for me to make new friends. I know that, if i go in from the start as myself, painfully shy, then I'll just be seen in the same light as i am in college. If I can somehow fake some sort of confidence then people might actually treat me like a normal person which might help me in the long run.

It'd be better to actually be confidant for real obviously but the longer I'm alone (especially now over the summer that college has just finished), the worse i am, and the less confidant I'll be when University starts.
I wonder though, is it really right to not be yourself?

soph x

I wondered the same thing myself. I just don't know, but the more contact you have with the opposite sex, the more you'll understand what you need to do.

I used to have crushes all the time too. It was horrible, I couldn't focus on anything, I'd be thinking about a particular girl for days and just idealize it so much that I couldn't even talk to her. I had like a 4 yr crush on this one girl until I saw her in the arms of her first boyfriend, only then did I realize the damage I was doing to myself. And even then I kept on doing it. I think it is because you may not know precisely what you want in a guy. I can tell you this because before I had my first girlfriend I didn't know what I wanted in a girl. I didn't know the things I could stand and the things that I couldn't stand (the dealbreakers). What's bad about that is you can fall in love with someone that is completely wrong for you.

For example I like to be hugged. My ex didn't like that. Seems small but it hurts when it comes up over and over and over. I like to kiss and be kissed. She didn't like that, and in the process made me feel like I was some sort of alien biological entity that must be quarantined and not touched at all. Do you have any idea how painful it is to have a significant other who doesn't like ANY physical contact whatsoever with you? That's why it's very important you at least have an idea of what you want in someone because if you don't you're more inclined to choose the wrong one.

 

[Qui]

Woww. I knew I was jaded, but woww.
I'm jaded.
It's not so much that I'm not interested, or that I play hard to get, but I just assume whenever a guy takes an interest in me or I crush on him that I'm only going to get hurt. I'm really emotionally conservative, I try to put as little feeling into a relationship as I can get away with.
Which sucks, really. That's how I end up in situations where my boyfriend is telling me he loves me and I'm still deciding whether I'm interested at all. It's crappy. I hate the way I do this. I'm so jaded.
Basically, from the opposite polar end of the spectrum, just be glad you're capable of feeling things for other people without having those feelings beaten out with a blunt object. When you're done feeling lucky for that, maybe try to differentiate between love and lust a little, because that should help simplify who's worth it and who's not. Anyway, sorry I can't be more helpful, I'm just too friggin jaded.

 

[evanescencefan91]

fictional characters get me all the time, i don't know why guys in cg just look so hot. But ya i know what you mean, i saw this one really cute guy at the bookstore today, i mean what would i do just go up to him and start talking to me. -Guy "why the hell is this random chick talking to me? back away slowly" i saw him later in a differnt aisle talking to another girl that was probably his gf

I don't know why it is, maybe we're just so longingly for a comapinion of anykind, someone who will notice us.