Dating sites are pointless.

[Niantiel]

I just don't do it.
It IS pointless.
I'm not going to date, my laptop. -_-

What am I gonna do, go to a fancy 4.25/5 star restaurant at a one-year anniversary ask for a table for to and pull out...my laptop???

"Yes my Lenovo would like the chicken penne and a glass of pinot noir for the eve...."


Yeah, that's not gonna fly.
Not to be a dick to anyone who IS into it. I've found that it just doesn't work for me anymore. My life is too active and I find myself too exhausted all the time. When I get home I don't want to spend the next 4 or 5 hours talking to someone online. I wanna shower, prepare for the next day, eat dinner, and go to bed after only like 2 or 3 hours online. And if that's all the time I've got online, I don't wanna be absorbed into one person. I've tried that too, and that didn't work out for me either.

I used to date online a lot when I was younger.
Things are just different when you're an adult, on your own, have no one to fall back on to help you with even basic things such as housework and chores, and well really, it isn't applicable for me. Basically what ends up happening is my friends end up getting pissed off at me because I start wanting to stay home more.

Last time I tried online dating, I saw my friends 4 times in a year, and spent the rest of the year either at home, at work, at the grocery store or on errands, or talking to her online.

I can't do that again. I DON'T WANT to do that again. LOL. It's too restrictive to me.

I AM on a few dating sites, but not really for dating, just to meet people and talk to people in general. I mean, humanism being as it is, one can't really be totally alone all the time, it'd be maddening...and I think the general agreement is that I don't need to go anymore mad than I already am. haha.

 

[Batman55]

I think you have to look at it kinda like a job application, you need to stand out from the crowd, we get hundreds of job applications per year where I work, do you think that we answer all of them ? Hell no, and I imagine that's the same for dating websites, you message someone, sure they can respond, but chances are they have received 10-20 + messages. Once you start responding to reject people, you are opening the way for a conversation - or worst, opening the way to be insulted for saying "not interested" I guess.

Point is, don't worry about being rejected if you're gonna do that, don't worry about being ignored either. It happens, move on.

Standing out from the crowd in some way will help, but as said before it's not about the facts and figures. It's knowing how to look, and what to say. If you can do that, you can get your foot in the door.

The other stuff is important if you're serious about long term relationships, or otherwise a "forward-thinking" type.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I have 5 friends who meet their significant others or husbands on dating sites. Not all of those people were on paid sites. It's not a scam, it's not pointless, at least IMO.

It is, what it is.

 

[lonelyfairy]

I wouldn't say that online dating is pointless. It's just not for some people.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I wouldn't say that online dating is pointless. It's just not for some people.

Online dating is for attractive people who can't be bothered to meet people in the traditional way. They are too busy or whatever. It isn't for unattractive people who find it hard to meet people.

It's very similar to the real world. Somebody who finds it hard to meet people won't suddenly be very popular online. And vice versa.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I wouldn't say that online dating is pointless. It's just not for some people.

Online dating is for attractive people who can't be bothered to meet people in the traditional way. They are too busy or whatever. It isn't for unattractive people who find it hard to meet people.

It's very similar to the real world. Somebody who finds it hard to meet people won't suddenly be very popular online. And vice versa.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. That's not true. That's just your version of it.

 

[LonelySutton]

I do have a few friends who met their SO on a dating site but, imho there were significant reasons it worked for them, where it wouldn't for everyone else. Typically they met the person before dating sites got modernized. With the winks etc. Like I have a friend who met her SO on a chat room on AOL. More than a few already sort of met the person in real life and then later found them on Match... so there is always more to the story. I do actually know someone who was killed by the person she met and married off a dating site.

I also feel like if you want ANYTHING badly enough you can make ANYTHING work but it sure as heck will take a lot of work. Why not just put that work into real world people.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I wouldn't say that online dating is pointless. It's just not for some people.

Online dating is for attractive people who can't be bothered to meet people in the traditional way. They are too busy or whatever. It isn't for unattractive people who find it hard to meet people.

It's very similar to the real world. Somebody who finds it hard to meet people won't suddenly be very popular online. And vice versa.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. That's not true. That's just your version of it.

I don't agree with you. Sorry and all that.

 

[Wanderer145]

Can't use a username that's too 'you' nothing too much into your interests, has to be about having a name that exudes confidence. I have said fresia it to dating sites. Wasted so much time on them trawling through sending out messages having some responses but nothing after two sentences and seemingly some messages from people who try hard to send a line or a couple of words for as a response. I'm not going to ever try paid ones again. The one time i did I had one person reply back and forth for about a day and that was the end of that. Absolute waste of money. Businesses making money off people's loneliness is the worst thing ever.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Can't use a username that's too 'you' nothing too much into your interests, has to be about having a name that exudes confidence. I have said fresia it to dating sites. Wasted so much time on them trawling through sending out messages having some responses but nothing after two sentences and seemingly some messages from people who try hard to send a line or a couple of words for as a response. I'm not going to ever try paid ones again. The one time i did I had one person reply back and forth for about a day and that was the end of that. Absolute waste of money. Businesses making money off people's loneliness is the worst thing ever.

+1

So true. It's sick and disgusting.

Honestly, if you are lonely and want to meet somebody, go out and join a singles club. Meet people, chat with them. That way personality comes into it instead of people rejecting you based on your photograph alone.

 

[lonelyfairy]

I wouldn't say that online dating is pointless. It's just not for some people.

Online dating is for attractive people who can't be bothered to meet people in the traditional way. They are too busy or whatever. It isn't for unattractive people who find it hard to meet people.

It's very similar to the real world. Somebody who finds it hard to meet people won't suddenly be very popular online. And vice versa.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. That's not true. That's just your version of it.

I agree with Callie. I'm sorry if you're thinking they're only for attractive people. No one is forcing you to use dating sites. Attractive is subjective though.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I wouldn't say that online dating is pointless. It's just not for some people.

Online dating is for attractive people who can't be bothered to meet people in the traditional way. They are too busy or whatever. It isn't for unattractive people who find it hard to meet people.

It's very similar to the real world. Somebody who finds it hard to meet people won't suddenly be very popular online. And vice versa.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. That's not true. That's just your version of it.

I agree with Callie. I'm sorry if you're thinking they're only for attractive people. No one is forcing you to use dating sites. Attractive is subjective though.

attractive means all sorts not necessary looks.
I think it's very hard to put your personality across using a dating site. That's all.

 

[lonelyfairy]

I wouldn't say that online dating is pointless. It's just not for some people.

Online dating is for attractive people who can't be bothered to meet people in the traditional way. They are too busy or whatever. It isn't for unattractive people who find it hard to meet people.

It's very similar to the real world. Somebody who finds it hard to meet people won't suddenly be very popular online. And vice versa.

I've said it before, I'll say it again. That's not true. That's just your version of it.

I agree with Callie. I'm sorry if you're thinking they're only for attractive people. No one is forcing you to use dating sites. Attractive is subjective though.

attractive means all sorts not necessary looks.
I think it's very hard to put your personality across using a dating site. That's all.

Okey.

 

[jzinsky]

^ It isn't all a con. Plenty of people have found happiness through them.

Just shouldn't be discounted completely, they are not for people sensitive to rejection.

Name 3...

I've been on most of the general dating sites and nothing. Not one message, well except for Plenty Of Fish.. And that was the admin ***** warning me about breaking rules (never found out which ones though)

 

[TheRealCallie]

^ It isn't all a con. Plenty of people have found happiness through them.

Just shouldn't be discounted completely, they are not for people sensitive to rejection.

Name 3...

I could name a lot more than three. They are all friends of mine. I won't give you actual names, as they are real people and I won't display their names on a forum like that and it would be a complete invasion of privacy.

 

[BeyondShy]

Honestly, if you are lonely and want to meet somebody, go out and join a singles club. Meet people, chat with them. That way personality comes into it instead of people rejecting you based on your photograph alone.

That's true. My problem is that I don't know where any singles clubs are around me or even know where to look.

And I mentioned this before but I did try a dating website too. Someone on here mentioned a website called OkCupid so I gave it a shot. Naturally it did not work out well and after constant polite messaging to girls that I thought was interesting and having those same messages ignored I left the website after a few weeks and had my profile deleted. I do not have a thick skin to be on a site like that because I took every ignored message personally.

Maybe I shouldn't have because I read that others faced the same problems as I did.

 

[Serenia]

^ It isn't all a con. Plenty of people have found happiness through them.

Just shouldn't be discounted completely, they are not for people sensitive to rejection.

Name 3...

I've been on most of the general dating sites and nothing. Not one message, well except for Plenty Of Fish.. And that was the admin ***** warning me about breaking rules (never found out which ones though)

I can quite easily name 5, but for the reasons Callie stated I am not going to. I don't know what was different for them, than other peoples experiences except one couple. It took a few years of patience and quiet perseverence (sp?) for them to find each other.

 

[TheLonelyNomad]

@ Jafo, true, online dating websites are a waste of time and money (if you paid for membership).

I have tried Match.com and Okcupid. I never tried Plenty of Fish, but honestly, I think I will face failure at that website too.

What I also dislike about website dating is that the picture of the other girl may be fake, or taken a couple years ago when she was skinny and better looking.

This is a true story and it happened to me once. I met this girl online, and after a few exchanged messages, we made appointment to meet at a coffee shop location. When I showed up, there was this huge chunky girl standing 10 feet away from me. I didn't recognize that girl as the person I communicated with on the dating website. I then call the girl to check on her location, and the chunky girl standing couple of feet away from me picked up her cell phone. LOL! That's when I realized that was her. We only met up for two more dates, and I was not interested in her. LOL!

 

[matt4]

Still no success from okcupid. I'm starting to think I'm not interesting haha.

 

[Serenia]

Recently I have heard the most success of getting dates, is Tinder.